Flooftivus

Flooftivus (floofinition) – annual secular holiday that housepets established to celebrate living with people. The holiday, observed over a nine-day period, is structured to include auspicious routines. These include days dedicated to vomiting, washing and grooming, napping, gorging, dashing around the dwelling, shedding hair, hiding, shredding objects, and being needy. The holiday culminates with a visit by Santa Paws, and the giving of gifts.

In use: “Although he loved his pets, he dreaded Floofivus. The Day of Vomiting was not fun, but The Giving of Gifts struck him as worse.”

 

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9 thoughts on “Flooftivus

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    1. No, he was just celebrating! The largest problem people have with Flooftivus is that the pets declare it on a whim. People never know when it’ll start. Some pets like to break Flooftivus up so that it’s celebrated throughout the year while others only celebrate one of the days. I have one cat that only likes to celebrate the Day of Vomiting, which he observes several times a year.

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  1. Hmmm, maybe we should start using cat logic. The Day of Vomiting sounds, ahem kinda harsh for a human. But, I will start doing what my cat does to me. He becomes all twitchy-tailed and runs after me (like a dog) and cat punches my ankles, then proceeds to bite my legs. So maybe I should pass by him, lightly punch his tail and then bite his paw (lightly of course). He’ll probably look at me and think his human has lost her mind. I’m sure many cats think that……lol

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    1. Using cat logic. That’s a scary thought. I don’t know if I can divine cat logic. Although I do things like you’re suggesting. For instance, sometimes, when I find one of my cats asleep during the day, I wake them up and tell them, “I want to eat now.”

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