Toilet-floof (floofinition) – Animal drawn toward toilets in a home, particularly when a human is using them.

In use: “Without fail, whenever Michael sat on the can, day or night, a toilet-floof appeared to verify what he was doing and try to get on his lap.”

The Lions Dream

My wife and I were outside on a warm day. Tall, golden brown grasses rose to our thighs. We were on a slope.  A single tree was close by.

Feeling relaxed, like we were on a vacation, we were talking and slowly moving, glancing around as we were, going in slightly different directions but generally down a gentle decline. Facing toward my wife and watching her, I caught sight of something to my right. Looking that way, I saw a trio of lions. They were watching my wife.

I said, “Don’t run, but a lion is watching you.” I was trying to think of all the things that you’re supposed to do when a lion is after you so that I could tell her, but as I was thinking, she turned and began running away.

“I said, don’t run,” I said with irritation, watching her run. As I feared, I saw a big male lion rise and follow her.

“Stop running,” I called, trying not to speak too loudly. The lion had to go by me. Picking up a large stick, I approached the lion. As I did, though, I was aware that a female lion and a lion cub were now coming after me. At the same time, my efforts with the stick had drawn the male’s attention.

I told my wife, “They’re not after you. Keep going, but go slowly. I’ll keep their attention.”

My wife made some sort of protest. They reminded the lions about her. I imagined them thinking, he has the stick, and he’s bigger, so let’s go after her, plus she’s running. A lion is a cat. Cats like motion.

I said to the lions, “No, come after me. Look at me.” I waved my arms and hit the stick against the ground. I felt fearless. I felt like I could stop the lions from doing anything, that I could somehow talk them out of being interested in us and leave us alone so that we could leave.

I began telling the lions that in a soft voice. Turning away after a few minutes, they headed across the field in another direction.

The dream ended.



















































































































Catering to his beloved pet’s needs, he opened the back door for his ginger feline. “Go on, then. I’m telling you, it’s freezing out there. You’ll be sorry. You’ll want back in after a few minutes.”took

Despite sunshine, icy air was rushing through the open door. Tail up, the cat bounced forward with a posture that called forth a heroic flourish of trumpets.

Halfway out, the cat went still, paws caught in motion.

“In or out,” he snapped. “Come on, cold air is filling the house, and all the heat is getting out.” He could hear the furnace kicking on. “Damn it — ”

The cat chittered. An enormous scrub jaw was hopping about the icy grass. Apparently seeing the cat, it flapped it wings with an outraged screech and took flight.

The cat ran out but the bird was gone. The cat scowled back at the man with an irritated tail swish (oh, yes, cats can scowl). He was clearly saying, “I could have gotten him if you hadn’t rushed me.”

“Right,” the man replied with a dismissing snort. “That bird was bigger than you. Let me know when you want back in.” He closed the door as the cat walked away, tall up, all forgiven, searching the yard for another distraction.

Saturday’s Theme Music

I came across my house panther stretched out by the fire last night. His fur’s warm silkiness prompted me to tell him, “Aren’t you hot? You’re almost on fire.” He responded with a purring toe stretch before squeezing his eyes shut again. That kicked me to sing to him (softy, so as to not disturb the precious one), “This cat is on fire,” to the Alicia Keyes song “Girl On Fire” (2012). Speaking with the cat this morning, I remembered the song and thought it a fine theme song for our area, where a hard frost coats the ground with delicate white icing.





Floofdicial (floofinition) – Of, by, or appropriate to an animal’s judgement.

In use: “No matter what she tried to do to make Oreo happy, the feline always gave her a floofdicial stare that declared, “Guilty,” forcing her to go back to giving Oreo the treats that she preferred.”

Tuesday’s Theme Music

A cat and I were admiring the night sky. Well, I was admiring the sky. He was alternatively washing and darting sudden glances at sounds that he claimed to hear. I think he was messing with me, myself.

A full, bright moon obliterated views of the stars but turning, I found some to admire, and toyed with identifying constellations while listening for whatever it was the cat claimed to hear. Besides raccoons, cats, dogs, rats, deer, and opossum, critters like bears and cougars stalk the area.

Still beauty descended from the night. With it came memories of other times when I looked up at a night sky. Most prominently came a time when Bobby and I were on Sicily. Stationed in Germany together, we’d flown down on a training mission. Now trashed, we shared a rallying cry, “The beach at dawn,” and were trying to stay up until that point. It was oh dark thirty, and the Med’s nearby lapping waves was lulling us. Above was a fantastic array of stars, planets, and galaxies, the kind of sight that whispers, “Oh, wow.”

It made me think of “Wheel in the Sky”, a 1978 song by Journey. I sang a little of it. After I stopped, Bobby said, “Oh, man, I really dislike that song.”

Man, did we laugh.

As for reasons why he disliked it, I vaguely remember him mentioning that he thought it too sentimental, sloppy, and shallow. Maybe I’m remembering wrong.

I still don’t know what the cat was pretending to hear. I went back in, leaving him to prowl the night. Maybe the sound he heard was just a promise of something enticing.


Nofloofobia (floofinition) – The fear that there won’t be any animals.

In use: “Suffering from nofloofobia, she, aided by her husband and children, constantly saved animals, averaging an animal a week, ignoring their species, or the costs, attending to their needs and injuries, trying to keep the Earth populated with animals.”


Floofscue (floofinition) – 1. Mistake or slip by an animal, particularly a houspet. 2. An animal rescue. 3. The signal for an animal to do something.

In use: “Someone’s quiet footfall coming up the walk toward the front door was a floofscue for flooflam as the dogs broke out barking, the birds began talking and squawking, and the cats narrowed eyes to stare down intruders or took flight for hiding places.”

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