Tuesday’s Bumper Sticker

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Floofmart

Floofmart (floofinition) – A large chain of stores devoted to pet care where the shoppers are generally housepets. Humans are permitted in as necessary to do business, by invitation only.

In use: “Her big pittie, Herc, kept urging her on, pulling on her leash and looking back as if to say, “Can’t you follow a lead?” She didn’t know what corner she’d turned but suddenly looked up and saw a glowing red sign, Floofmart. Herc rushed ahead to the glass doors. They slid open for him. She had no choice but to follow.”

Flooftel

Flooftel (floofinition) – A hotel or motel that allows pets to stay or caters to pets. ‘Flooftel’ is often misused for ‘flooftella‘, but other than sharing the same roots, the two words are not related.

In use: “Although a luxury hotel, the Overleaf is also a flooftel, allowing pets to stay with their owners.”

Floof Message

Floof Message (floofinition) – texts or emails whose subject center around housepets.

In use: “When she was away, her Mom would line up Cricket and Ellie, take a photo of them, and floof message her daughter the photo with a humorous caption, usually about the dogs wanting Rachel’s return so they could be properly fed.”

Tollfloof

Tollfloof (floofinition) – housepet who blocks a common passage such as the stairs, a doorway, or hall, and doesn’t let others by without payment.

In use: “Dobie and Gillis were both tollfloofs. Both liked getting tolls paid on the top stair. Dobie offered his beagle belly for a rub as a toll. Gillis, though, turned on her amber-eyed target acquisition system and swatted anyone who dared to pass, but with her claws withdrawn.”

Floofvalry

Floofvalry (floofinition) – competition between two or more housepets for superiority, food, attention, or dominance.

In use: “As soon as he headed toward his favorite recliner, his two ginger cats and the Corgi positioned themselves by the chair, starting the lap floofvalry anew.”

Floofsider

Floofsider (floofinition) – a housepet companion who remains reliably by another’s side;

In use: “Jade was a floofsider. To adjust to that with her pregnancy, Barb set up a birthing station for Jade and remained beside her while the cat purred and gave birth to three mini-Jades. As soon as the three kittens were large enough to walk, they became floofsiders, too, following mama and creating a little flooftrain as they followed Barb around the house. It was sweet and frustrating; Barb had to constantly watch where she stepped as the little furfloofs played around her feet.”

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