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Floof-si-do (floofinition) – a figure in which a human and animal pass each other foot (human) to shoulder (animal) or head, and circle each other as the pet tries for the human’s attention, and the human tries not to step upon or kick the animal.
In use: “He had a full plate of cheese and crackers in his hand, but that didn’t stop his pet from initiating a little kitchen floof-si-do.”
Floofsage (floofinition) – a housepet’s kneading and rubbing of body surface areas.
In use: “Whenever and wherever he got on his stomach, his dog, who wasn’t small, humped on his back and gave him a floofsage by walking in place on him.”
Floofbed (floofinition) – when the bed isn’t made because a pet was sleeping on it.
In use: “Getting up, she went to make the bed, but the pets were sleeping on it, and they looked so sweet. Sighing, she accepted, she had floofbed, dressed, and went to work.”
Floofsive (floofinition) – a state or expression where a housepet appears engaged in, involving, or reflecting deep or serious thought.
In use: “He said, as he does every morning, “Who’s hungry? Who wants something to eat?” In response, the cats and dogs sat down and regarded him with floofsive gazes, as if they didn’t know who he was.”
Enflooflope (floofinition) – the accepted limits for what housepets are permitted to do; being constrained or trapped by housepets.
In use: “Jade was a smart and willful tabby who enjoyed pushing the enflooflope, jumping up counters and table tops, taking food from plates as though it was her serving, arguing back with sharp meows and a swishing tail when remonstrated.”
Infloofuencer (floofinition) – a housepet that influences other housepets by their actions, sounds, or behavior
In use: “At seventeen, he was the household’s first and oldest pet. Joining them when he was just three months old, he was an infloofuencer on the other pets. Wherever he went, whatever he did, the others would do the same, just to see where he was or what he was doing.”
Floofduggery (floofinition) – a housepet’s underhanded or unscrupulous behavior.
In use: “Jade at first hid from the new puppy, growling and hissing if it made the slightest sign of taking an interest in her. But when he went to sleep, she employed floofduggery to sneak up on him, and then swat him three times on the nose. As he yelped in surprised, she strolled away, satisfied that her point was made.”
Eflooftric (floofinition) – a housepet who behaves in strange or unusual ways; a person who behaves oddly around housepets.
In use: “The big, happy lab was normal in every way, except when it came to water. The sound of water made the eflooftric race to find the water and watch it. He loved nothing more than witnessing falling rain, except, perhaps, watching the bath tub drain.
“Naturally, they had to buy him his own small wading pool.
“Naturally.
“Naturally, he loved it.”
Floofwich (floofinition) – inserted or squeezed between two or more housepets, typically in a restricted space or so as to be uncomfortable.
In use: “Turning to leave the kitchen, Michael discovered the three cats had him boxed in. It would be a floofwich, a BPT – Boo, Papi, and Tucker – floofwich, if the cats trusted each other enough to close the gap between them.”
