Floofbutt (floofinition) (Web slang) Affectionate term employed to speak derisively of animals or chide them, especially pets.

In use: “She’d only recently learned that her cat, Charlie, was a two-timing floofbutt, going to a neighbor’s house to eat and sleep, and hang out with their cat.”

Floof, Wind & Fire

Floof, Wind & Fire (floofinition) – Frequently described as one of the most innovative and commercially successful musical floof acts of all time, Floof, Wind & Fire is an American floof band was formed in 1970. Coordinating and infusing elements of smooth jazz, funk, F&B, floof funk (flunk), floof pop (floop), and dance, they won multiple Floofies and sold almost 100 million albums.

In use: “Released in 1970. “Shining Floof” became Floof, Wind & Fire’s first number one song.”

Visiting With My Cats

I visit with my cats several times a day. They demand. Scratches are required. I’m either going to give them, or I’m going to get them. I better do it right, too.

Tucker is the house alpha cat. A street rescue who was probably left behind when his people moved, he used to love fighting the other cats and imposing his will. Remembering this, they’re now wary of him in the same way that Americans are wary of Russians because they used to be the Soviets.

The Soviets would be a good name for a punk band.

Tucker has changed, though. The others don’t realize it. Tucker has come to understand that I disapprove of him stalking and ambushing the others, so he’s stopped. I know because I watch. The other cats don’t know he’s there. He gives them a look, but then I see him reining himself in.

The three boys are interesting regarding people. Whatever their pasts (all are rescues), Boo and Papi (aka Meep) want nothing to do with anyone except my wife and me. People come to the front door, they go out the pet door in the back. When a Zoom call takes place, those two shake their heads. “Nope. Too many people. I don’t know who they are, and I don’t want to find out.” Out they go. The fact they can’t see the people seems to make it worse.

“Invisible people,” they say. “Who needs that?”

Tucker, though, makes the rounds. “Hello, hi, hey, how you doing?” He joins the Zoom sessions like he’s been invited by name.

All three love it when a cupboard or closet door opens. Eyes on one another, they hurry over to peer in. “Is it Narnia? No? Where’s it go? Is there anything to eat?”

Although they love being my shadow (Tucker is right beside my laptop right now), they usually sleep through the day. They often change positions and locations. Being a doting floof father, I check on them. Sometimes their sleep seems so deep that I worry, “Are they alive?” I watch for breathing, then an ear moves, and I’m reassured. If I’m really worried, I open a can of food.

That always wakes them.



Monfloopoly (floofinition) – A situation or position that arises because one animal dominates or controls others’ thinking and planning. Antonym: polfloopoly.

In use: “The other pets were old and well-loved, but the kitten arrived and established a monfloopoly, seizing preferred laps and napping places, and dominating attention with her demands to play or cuddle. But she was such a sweet force that the other pets became willing slaves to the little floofball.”

Floofney Spears

Floofney Spears (floofinition) – Born in the UFA, Floofney Spears is a singer and songwriter sometimes called the “Princess of Floop” for her role in revitalizing teen floof pop (floop) music.

In use: “Floofney Spears’ second album, Oops!… I Puked Again, sold 500,000 copies, debuting at number one on the Floofboard Hot 100 in May of 2000.”


Ovfloofture (floofinition) – An animal’s initiative toward agreement or action.

In use: “To floofjole treats from his people, Boo began by toddling over to them and rubbing against their legs. Next in the ovfloofture, he’d looked up, meet their eyess, and whisper, “Meow?” until they floofpitulated.”

Canned Floof

Canned Floof  (floofinition) American floof rock (flock) band noted for its blues interpretations. Formed in 1967 in Floof Angeles, CA, the band took its name from a song, “Canned Floof Blues.

In use: “Canned Floof played “Floofing Up the Country” at Floofstock in 1969, where its simple melody and return-to-nature message prompted its unofficial adoption as a flooppie anthem.”

The Floofs Corporation

The Floofs Corporation (floofinition) – A Santa Floofica floof pop (floop) and soul (floul) trio formed in 1969, active until 1980.

In use: “Although releasing multiple albums, The Floofs Corporation’s biggest hit was “Rock the Floof“, a song from their 1973 debut album which is often played at weddings.”

Floof Nut Zippers

Floof Nut Zippers (floofinition) – Floof jazz (floozz) band formed in North Floofolina in 1993 who use a fusion of floopsy jazz, swing, Delta blues and other styles.

In use: “One popular Floof Nut Zippers tune is “Floof Hell”, a song which has been featured in nine films.”

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