Flooflord

Flooflord (floofinition) – 1. A person with a lot of animals.

In use: “With five cats, three birds, two lizards, and four dogs, many of her neighbors considered Libby to be a flooflord.”

2. Animal who rules other animals and humans.

In use: “Despite a household with three large dogs and two mature cats (and four children and two adults), the new kitten was the flooflord without a week, manipulating others with cuteness, sweetness, and cussedness.”

3. (slang) Person who constantly posts or comments about animals on the net.

In use: “Bryan couldn’t help himself from being a flooflord because his two cats and one dog were just so dang cute and smart, he was constantly sharing pet stories and photos on the net.”

Fingerfloof

Fingerfloof (floofinition) – An animal obsessed with fingers.

In use: “He and the cat had shared a house for five years but it was only since the pandemic enforced staying at home that the cat had become a fingerfloof, seeking them while he slept in bed at night, read a book on a chair, or — the worst because it was the most intrusive — nuzzling his fingers when they rested on the mouse as he worked.”

Floofnag

Floofnag (floofinition) – An animal who can be annoying or irritating until they’re appeased.

In use: “Bevery tries organizing her day according to her priorities but it’s always subject to the floofnags — Pepper, a little Dachshund and his ally in mischief, a diluted calico named Dust — who demanded treats whenever she starts a Zoom meeting and has a consistent need to be in all rooms with her.”

Floofclave

Floofclave (floofinition) – A group of animals’ distinct territorial, cultural, or social unit established within another territory.

In use: “The dogs established a floofclave on the back patio while the cats decreed that the sunroom was their space, but Sugar, the new scamperbeast brazenly went wherever she desired, sleeping and playing among dogs and cats, regardless of floofclave.”

The Distraction

The royal clowder lined up at his feet as the man made his way into his office. “What?” he asked, stopping, looking down at them, a cup of coffee in hand.

The cats began singing.

“We three cats have come to bug you.

“The weather is bad and we’ve nothing to do.

“We’re bored and restless and don’t like our food.

“Come and pet us or we’ll start biting you.”

The man rolled his eyes. “That old chestnut.” Then he threw a ball across the room to distract, darted into his office when they dashed away, closed the door, and put on noise-canceling headphones.

Sometimes, that was the only way he could get something done.

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