Floofquest (floofinition) – 1. A housepet’s arduous or determined journey to achieve something or reach or capture an object, such as a red dot on the floor or a buzzing fly. 2. People’s efforts to find a new housepet. 3. Rescuer’s efforts to find and help animals.

In use: “The new young dog discovered treats after he’d arrived in his new home and came out of his shell. Within days, he began a floofquest for treats whenever a human went to the kitchen. And with those big eyes of his and his happy grin, it mostly worked.”

Breaking it Down

While working on the yard and house today, songs run through my head. I don’t mind it if they’re barefoot, but some of them wear heavy combat boots. That leaves a mark.

One song was the Rupert Holmes song, “Escape”. Most know it as “The Piña Coladas Song”. It’s all about how badly Rupert and his lovely lady were doing. He sees an ad in the newspaper’s personal columns and reads, “If you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain. If you’re not into yoga, if you have half a brain. If you like making love at midnight in the dunes of the cape. Then I’m the love that you’ve looked for, write to me and escape.”

So he writes to the paper, answering the ad. They meet, and guess what? It’s his own lovely lady that he’s meeting. She’s the one that put the ad in the paper! So, Rupert continues, then we laughed for a moment and I said, “I never knew
That you like piña coladas and gettin’ caught in the rain. And the feel of the ocean and the taste of champagne.”

Mind you, she’s advertised for a lover; he answered that ad. They were both looking for someone else.

At this point, in real life, if he said, “I never knew that you like piña coladas, she’d reply, “That’s because you never listen to me.” Then it’d probably be on. He’s already confessed that he was tired of her. She’s clearly tired of him, too.

Yeah, I don’t see a happy ending here. I don’t think that either one is the lover that the other one was trying to find.

Of course, my mind also suggested, “Well, maybe it’s a small town. What are the odds of her putting the ad in and him answering? Those odds improve if it’s a small town.”

Then my mind went all Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind on me. I imagined the bar patrons familiar with the situation saying, “Oh, no, here we go again.”

I concluded from this that my romantic band of my spectrum of being must be tiny.


Floofball (floofinition) – A broad set of games involving housepets and round objects. Balls may be used, but blueberries and peas suffice, as do lids, buttons, and pens. The rules vary, usually dependent on species. Generally, cats like to play, “Knock It Off” and dogs enjoy fetch.

In use: “She wasn’t large, but she was smart and playful, particularly enjoying floofball games. While an expert at “Knock It Off”, which she played on the bedroom dresser at one in the morning every day, she also starred at knocking down bouncing ping-pong balls, and was a champion playing fetch with plastic jingle balls.”




Floofpet (floofinition) – 1. A floor covering dominating by lounging, sitting, or sleeping housepets or their shed fur. 2. One animal that seems to be another animal’s personal pet.

In use: “The front door was open but it wasn’t much use trying to go that way, as the sleeping cats and dogs had created an impassable floofpet, leaving no paths for people to use.”


Floofnut (floofinition) – 1. Someone obsessed with animals, especially housepets such as cats, dogs, and rabbits. 2. A housepet with silly, erratic, or unusual behavior that’s often humorous and endearing. 3. A kibble treat for animals shaped like a doughnut or nut. 4. A doughnut that looks like an animal, such as a cat or dog.

In use: “With twenty-three housepets, he was beginning to wonder if he’d become the floofnut that his friends always accused him of being.”


Floofatorium (floofinition) – A large building or hall used for animal gatherings, typically to witness speeches or stage performances, or to have very large meals.

In use: “Walking through his house and spotting multiple food bowls and feeding stations for their thirteen cats and seven dogs, he thought that his house was beginning to resemble a floofatorium.”

Hot Coffee

He said, “Coffee.” Then he looked aside. “It’s getting hot out there.”

“Yes.” She smiled. “I’m surprised that you want hot coffee on a day like this.”

“I like the smell of hot coffee.” He grinned. “It helps me focus.”

Nodding, she slid a mug of steaming coffee across the counter. “I know what you mean.”


Astfloonomy (floofinition) – 1. A practice held by animals of gazing at the night sky; 2. Branch of science devoted to finding the shapes of animals in the stars.

In use: “A professor emeritus of astfloonomy, he pointed and said, “If you connect those stars, you can see a small mouse.” He looked down at the cat. “See it?” The cat did not reply, which was a reply.”

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