Trifloof

Trifloof (floofinition) – 1. The third pet in a household. 2. A four-legged animal that has lost a limb.

In use: “Four months old, Thor had been hit by a car and lost a limb, making the little black cat a trifloof, but he raced around the house without any issues or apparent lack of speed.”

Floofhafen

Floofhafen (floofinition) – A port animals use to travel between dimensions, often in conjunciton with a floofexchange.

In use: “Michael didn’t know it, but there was a floofhafen in his backyard. One moment, a bear family is trundling through it, but as soon as he was back with his camera, in, like, fifteen seconds, the bears were completely gone.”

FTF (Faster Than Floof)

FTF (Faster Than Floof) (floofinition) – The hypothesis that only non-humans can travel at speeds faster than the speed of light. The special theory of floofactivity implies that only quantum animals (such as housepets like cats and dogs) can reach such speeds, doing so almost instantaneously, allowing them to apparently simultaneously occupy more than one place.

In use: “Anyone with pets know that many are capable of FTF; just open a can and watch them arrive.”

Pobrefloof

Pobrefloof (floofinition) – Poor animal.

In use: “Wanting to go for a walk but being denied, the dog sulked with his leash in his mouth. “Pobrefloof,” she said, walking by. “I’ll walk you before I leave, honey, but I can’t now, I’m not dressed yet.” Sighing, the dog dropped the leash.”

 

Floofdious

Floofdious (floofinition) An animal of a serious demeanor, prone to studying others, such as birds, insects, and  flowers.

In use: “The St. Bernard was a floofdious mother, content with relaxing in the back and soaking in the world as the day stole past.”

Floofuit

Floofuit (floofinition) – 1. A channel or path regularly used by animals. 2. A person who understands animals on deeper levels, often referred to as an animal whisperer, e.g., the cat whisperer, horse whisperer, or dog whisperer.

In use: “A path was worn across the yard from a hole in the fence on one side to a hole in the fence on other side, a floofuit used by skunks and foxes, and cats and raccoons, according to the camera that Shelly set up to monitor the floofuit.”

Parafloofx

Parafloofx (floofinition) – 1. A pair of animals, i.e., floof. A parafloofx is worth two in the bush. 2. An animal having seemingly contradictory qualities or phases.

In use: “As many people who shared a house with cats learned, they were often parafloofxes, presenting their bellies for a little sweet lovin’, purring away before suddenly activating bite and claw mode.”

Floofcotheque

Floofcotheque (floofinition) – A floofclub for dancing, often featuring sophisticated quantum systems, elaborate lighting, and other effects.

In use: “Each night, the cats hurried to the door at exactly the same time, demanding to leave, prompting Pam to joke, “Hot date,” without realizing that the kitties were hurrying to the floofcotheque to dance to the Backyard Dogs.”

Persistent Assistant

A persistent assistant

and ever-present friend

he’s with me wherever I’m at

it’s an established trend

 

In the bed

on the pot

across the street

by the vacant lot

 

On the chair

when I read

by the table

when I feed

 

He needs to know

what I’m doing

and watches around corners

(I don’t know who he thinks he’s fooling)

 

Wherever I go

he is there

as if my being

is his only care

 

But once in a while

I spy on him as he’s sleeping

watching him move paws and whiskers

wondering, what’s he dreaming?

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