Eflooftome

Eflooftome (floofinition) – A housepet who is appears or acts like the perfect example of their species.

In use: “Lanky, with shades of lustrous gold in his coat, and twenty-four inches tall at his withers, Meyer sat in the doorway, the eflooftome of Golden Retrievers.”

 

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Stereofloof

Stereofloof (floofinition) – A widely held but fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a pet.

In use: “Batting balls around with wide-eyed zeal, ambushing and attacking anything that moved, purring when petted, and of course, appearing absolutely adorable, Logan the kitten was a stereofloof of kittens.

 

Flooftub

Flooftub (floofinition) – A typically wide, open, deep, and round container used for holding  water, growing plants, etc., repurposed by pets as sleeping, hiding, and playing spaces.

In use: “During hot days, Ashley converted the main tub into a flooftub, stretching her long furry body out along the cool, porcelain bottom for afternoon naps that none dared to interrupt.”

At Your Disposal

Well, I finally did it. I pulled the plug. It was time.

My garbage disposal was a decent enough Badger 5. Not pricey, it was a half power workhouse. It had some issues. First, it’d been a leak from the sink flange. I fixed that, twice, vowing the second time, NEVER MORE! Meanwhile, god forbid a lemon seed or popcorn kernel were dropped into it. Either would immediately jammed it, calling out the need for the hex key to unjam it. Lemon and veggies would often rumble around for a few days before finally succumbing to the blades and disappearing.

Then, though, the seals began leaking. After assessing it and confirming it was the seals, I put a bucket under it. I’d monitor and empty the bucket as required.

There’s no-how for you.

Sorry, I mean ‘know-how’, of course.

Finally, though, a day came when the disposal didn’t want to work any more. It made humming sounds but the cogs weren’t jammed. It just didn’t want to play any longer. A new one was required.

That took me into search land, the perfect occupation who tends to overthink stuff. Size, price, horsepower, noise, reputation, issues…over and over I read, compared, and studied. It came down to Waste King and Insinkerator. Love those names, gotta say. They could easily be pro wrestlers or transformers. The Waste King won. I ordered it Wednesday, and it was waiting at the door when I came home from the hospital Friday.

Perfect! The next day, after I came back from writing and walking, I set aside time to tackle the garbage disposal. Getting the old one out was harsh duty. Like a loyal soldier, it didn’t want to leave its post. I’d mentioned that it’d experience some leaking issues. Those led to some rusting issues, which trickled into removal issues. That bear took a sweaty hour to remove it.

Installing the Waste King, though, was a peach. Fifteen minutes, and boom, done. I’m not a handyman, so you know it was a well-engineered product if I installed it in fifteen minutes. Running it for the first time, its volume disappointed me. It’s a one h/p brute, though, and anything put into is liquefied in seconds.

Did I make the right choice? Probably as good as any of them. We’ll see, right.

Meanwhile, anyone need a used garbage disposal? It has no miles on it at all.

Floofbicle

Floofbicle (floofinition) – a small partitioned-off space pets use for sleeping and playing, sometimes called a box by the uninformed.

In use: “Although the floofbicle was too small for the bulldog, he ignored the limitations and tried sitting.”

 

Deflooftive

Deflooftive (floofinition) – 1. An investigator who specializes in solving crimes and mysteries involving pets. 2. A pet who is obligated to investigate all noises, movements, foods, and others.

In use: “Aided with a video camera mounted high on the wall, the deflooftive soon learned how the cat and dog were escaping.”

 

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