Floofgenitor (floofinition) – 1. housepet who is the precursor; 2. housepet who originates a practice; 3. housepet that’s in the direct line of floofcestors.

In use: “Candid was the floofgenitor that established the animals’ habit of wanting to drink the bath water. Once she started doing it, the rest also took to the practice, as if the bath water was a magical brew.”



Floofcestor (floofinition) – one from whom a housepet is descended and who is usually more remote in the line of descent than a grandfloof.

In use: “Although he weighed but nine pounds, Andi was certain that Jon Snow’s floofcestors included a saber-toothed tigers, given the black cat’s amazing hunting prowess.”


Floofport (floofinition) – 1. Act of carrying a housepet; 2. Mode of one pet carrying another, such as a mother carrying her young; 3. Slang reference to a pet door.

In use: “Floofporting a kitten in her mouth, the momma cat prepared to leave via the floofport, pushing the woman to rush over, pick the two up, and floofport them back into the other room where she’d set a box up for the new feline family.”


Flooflish (floofinition) – English as spoken to housepets.

In use: “Dropping to his knees, the big man shifted into flooflish. “Who’s daddy’s pwetty little boy?” he asked his big dog in a high voice. Wagging his tail, the dog leaped forward and started licking his face. “That’s right, you are,” the man said as the dog licked him. “You are. That’s right, you are. Yes, you are. Yes, you are. Good boy, good dog, good lad.”

Coup d’floof

Coup d’floof (floofinition) – sudden, decisive action by one animal to change the situation among housepets.

In use: “In a brilliant coup d’floof, the dog grabbed the contested bed with his teeth and flipped it over with a mighty jerk, sending the cat out onto the floor.”


Floofosity (floofinition) – curiosity explicit to knowledge about housepets and their health, appearance, habits, and activities.

In use: “He often inquired about others’ pets, showing a native floofosity about the origins of their names, how they came to be in the household, how old they were, and so on.”


Maybe she’s sick or blind,

so, she don’t look this way, or,

maybe she’s afraid or worried,

so, she don’t look this way.

Maybe she’s unfriendly, stuck-up, or conceited,

cuz she don’t look this way,

or too insecure,

because she don’t look this way.

Could be that she’s dead,

’cause she don’t look this way

or maybe I’m invisible,

because she don’t look this way,

or I’m old, sick, or dying,

because she won’t look this way.


Flooftory (floofinition) – a housepet’s overcoming of a nemesis or obstacle; a housepet’s achievement, such as stealing a piece of cheese or a steak from an unwary human.

In use: “People often misuse flooftory, confusing it with inflooftory, but the first is about a floof winning something, such as the rights to a space, a piece of food, etc., and inflooftory is about finding all the animals to confirm their locations.”

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