First Floof

First Floof (floofinition) – informal or ceremonial title given to the housepet which has preferential standing.

In use: “She’d always had cats. Daisy came to her when her son went to war and never returned. Showing remarkable intelligence — for a dog, in her opinion — Daisy quietly became her loyal First Floof and was by her side when she went to sleep and didn’t wake up, staying there until the police came on a welfare check.”

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Floofnet

Floofnet (floofinition) – 1. Quantum communications systems used by animals to share information such as gossip, homes that give out food and treats, and warnings of danger. 2. World wide web that’s devoted to animals.

In use: “People always assumed that animals sniffed one another to pass messages and learn more. The reality is that such behavior was respected by the animals as an ancient tradition, although they admitted that it was also part of their disinformation campaign to keep humans ignorant of their abilities. They’d long before replaced sniffing with the floofnet, an almost instantaneous method of sharing information across long distances.”

Wolfloofrine

Wolfloofrine (floofinition) – 1. a heavily built housepet whose appearance, behavior, or both, reminds people of a wolverine. 2. Slang for a housepet that resides in Michigan. 3. Housepet that acts like a tough anti-hero but is often a private sweetheart.

In use: “A classic mutt of confusing breeds like that found in an animal shelter, the dog’s wolfloofrine appearance and attitude made him difficult to adopt, but Shannon saw him, and it was love at first lick. She named him Logan, of course.”

Exfloofiate

Exfloofiate (floofinition) – to animal fur from clothing, furniture, food, and other items.

In use: “She loved her Samoyed, Thor, but the boy could shed white fur like nobody’s business, requiring extensive and persistent exfloofiating.”

Floofbadour

Floofbadour (floofinition) – 1. An animal, particularly a housepet, who likes to sing by howling, barking, meowing, chirping, etc; 2. A person who likes to sing to animals.

In use: “Whenever he played his favorite album, They Only Come Out At Night by the Edgar Winter Group, his cat, who is apparently a floofbadour, runs in from wherever he is and begins loudly purring and meowing.”

Floofpious

Floofpious (floofinition) – 1. An abundance of housepets; 2. Someone religiously devoted to animals, particularly housepets.

In use: “Her floofpious existence ended up with a house featuring several catios with cat trees and shelters, along with kennels with dog houses, and bird cages. No animal was ever turned away, although some of them were only with her until she found it a home more suited for its situation.”

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