Floofhem (floofinition) – A housepet’s willful damage.

In use: “Becca grew aware that her cats and dogs seemed to share a secret agenda, inflicting floofhem on new clothes and shoes, resorting to damaging curtains or sofa, of new clothes weren’t available. Fortunately, she cared more about her pets than her things.”

h/t to Barbara Froman.



Floofmarm (floofinition) – 1. A housepet who rigorously enforces adherence to a set order of activities and behavior. 2. A person who insists on specific and often ritualistic behavior by their animals.

In use: “The husky acted as a floofmarm, ensuring that everyone ate at their own bowl — something the cats didn’t readily appreciate — that all got out of bed when the women did, and that all went to bed at the correct time.”

Battlefloof Galactica

Battlefloof Galactica (floofinition) – Franchise of stories centering around how animals escaped their original dying solar system and came to be on Earth.

In use: “The first episode of Battlefloof Galactica introduced viewers to the original thirteen warrior cats, dogs, birds, and other animals, and their leader, Galactica, a turtle who conceived of a floofship to escape their solar system and find a new world.”


Floofaneer (floofinition) – Any of the freefloofers preying on unsuspecting households by sneaking in and eating other pets’ food and treats.

In use: “A sleek black cat, Pearl was soon known around the neighborhood as a floofaneer, fearlessly ferreting out petdoors and boldly entering other homes.”


Freefloofer (floofinition) – Housepet who appears to be a stray because they’re always wandering around as though homeless.

In use: “The friendly little dog was a freefloofer who enjoyed wandering the neighborhood and making new friends. People often thought he was lost, so they took him home, fed him, and doted on him while posting on social media, ‘Lost Dog Found’. Naturally, he wasn’t a lost dog; just a freefloofer.”


Eflooftemology (floofinition) – The study or a theory of the nature and grounds of knowledge regarding animals, especially housepets or domesticated animals, with reference to the limits and validity of the knowledge.

In use: “Animals’ innate secrecy and their desire to protect their knowledge limits eflooftemology as animals often defy established ‘facts’ about their thinking, skills, and behavior.”


Floofdrant (floofinition) – A room or space divided by housepets for their use.

In use: “A floofdrant was always created along the same lines, with the older male cats taking to the easy chairs, the dogs on the sofa, and the female cat on the humans’ favorite leather recliner.”


Afloofpriate (floofinition) – When an animal, especially a houspet, acquires something for its own use or consumption.

In use: “She planned to have a nice butter croissant with apricot preserves for breakfast but her dog was faster, afloofpriating the warm food and gobbling it up as soon as she set the plate down.”

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