Floof-si-do

Floof-si-do (floofinition) – a figure in which a human and animal pass each other foot (human) to shoulder (animal) or head, and circle each other as the pet tries for the human’s attention, and the human tries not to step upon or kick the animal.

In use: “He had a full plate of cheese and crackers in his hand, but that didn’t stop his pet from initiating a little kitchen floof-si-do.”

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Floofsage

Floofsage (floofinition) – a housepet’s kneading and rubbing of body surface areas.

In use: “Whenever and wherever he got on his stomach, his dog, who wasn’t small, humped on his back and gave him a floofsage by walking in place on him.”

 

Floofbed

Floofbed (floofinition) – when the bed isn’t made because a pet was sleeping on it.

In use: “Getting up, she went to make the bed, but the pets were sleeping on it, and they looked so sweet. Sighing, she accepted, she had floofbed, dressed, and went to work.”

Floofsive

Floofsive (floofinition) – a state or expression where a housepet appears engaged in, involving, or reflecting deep or serious thought.

In use: “He said, as he does every morning, “Who’s hungry? Who wants something to eat?” In response, the cats and dogs sat down and regarded him with floofsive gazes, as if they didn’t know who he was.”

Enflooflope

Enflooflope (floofinition) – the accepted limits for what housepets are permitted to do; being constrained or trapped by housepets.

In use: “Jade was a smart and willful tabby who enjoyed pushing the enflooflope, jumping up counters and table tops, taking food from plates as though it was her serving, arguing back with sharp meows and a swishing tail when remonstrated.”

Infloofuencer

Infloofuencer (floofinition) – a housepet that influences other housepets by their actions, sounds, or behavior

In use: “At seventeen, he was the household’s first and oldest pet. Joining them when he was just three months old, he was an infloofuencer on the other pets. Wherever he went, whatever he did, the others would do the same, just to see where he was or what he was doing.”

Macfloofnation

Macfloofnation (floofinition) – a housepet’s scheming or crafty action or artful design to accomplish something it knows it’s not allowed to do; a group of animal lovers who also identify as Apple Mac users; (slang) housepets who enjoy eating food from McDonald’s restaurants.

In use: “As part of his macfloofations to get food off the plate, he put on his cutest face, holding it in place as he edged his paw forward.”

Parfloofsi

Parfloofsi (floofinition) – a strategy game played by housepets. Based on superior senses and knowledge that animals have that humans don’t begin to approach, there’s no sense trying to define the game’s rules and objectives to people.

In use: “As soon as Michael rose from bed, Papi, Tucker, and Boo began a game of parfloofsi, staying in one place and watching one another as he called them, expecting to feed them. None came for food; the parfloofsi was too gripping for the cats to eat.”

Floofduggery

Floofduggery (floofinition) – a housepet’s underhanded or unscrupulous behavior.

In use: “Jade at first hid from the new puppy, growling and hissing if it made the slightest sign of taking an interest in her. But when he went to sleep, she employed floofduggery to sneak up on him, and then swat him three times on the nose. As he yelped in surprised, she strolled away, satisfied that her point was made.”

 

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