Floofmail

Floofmail (floofinition) 1. An animal’s attempt to influence a person’s actions via affection or threats.

In use: “Deciding to resort to floofmail, the kitten started hissing and spitting, but the woman continued washing the little feline, ridding its tiny body of ticks, fleas, dirt, and grease.”

2. Traditional or electronic mail devoted to subjects and news about animals.

In use: “As he grew more concerned about the environment, he signed up for greater numbers of newsletters about animal rescue organizations. Floofmail soon dominated his daily correspondence.”

3. Mail delivered by an animal to its people.

In use: “Every day, the retriever greeted the mail carrier, ate a treat that was offered, and then accepted and delivered it to the bedridden man, which always earned him another treat, proving floofmail’s value in the digital age.”