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Floofophily (floofinition) – Tendency of people to seek out or show attraction to animals.
In use: “Her floofphily developed into a commitment to help animals, often fostering kittens and puppies and their mothers, helping them recover rough starts and then homing them”
SIBUF (floofinition) – Internet slang for ‘Stuck in Bed Under Floof’, when a sleeping animal stops a person from getting out of bed.
In use: “Camille had plans for getting up early Saturday morning and getting things done, but Don Juan — who apparently thought he was a tiny puppy and not a huge beast — had her SIBUF and refused to get up, forcing a change to her agenda.”
Floofhaste (floofinition) – The need to do something quickly for an animal.
In use: “The looks they were giving and the noises they made ordered Tanya, ‘Feed me now,’ sending her to replenish the food bowls floofhaste.”
UFLO (floofinition) – Expression which means ‘Unsuspecting Floof Owner’. Used to describe a person who doesn’t know what their animal is up to, it’s often associated with pets having secret lives.
In use: “While they went about their daily business, the UFLO didn’t know that their cat, Johnny, was known as a friendly feline named Ghost who visited a neighbor two blocks away, napping on the bed, and enjoying the food put out for their own pets.”
FOLS (floofinition) – Internet slang for ‘Floof on lap syndrome’, when having an animal on one’s lap prevents or discourages people from doing other activities.
In use: “His phone rang, but it was across the room, and he was FOLS, with his new puppy sacked out on his lap, so he just let it go to voice mail.”
Flooffective (floofinition) – Arising from or relating to animals and their influence on emotions or feelings.
In use: “His cats and dogs were his constant companions when he was home, underfoot while cooking and cleaning, assisting him on the laptop, watching television and reading with him, installing a floofective pattern to his planning.”
Floofshare (floofinition) – 1. A plan to give space, food, or objects to an animal.
In use: “Whenever he eats a sandwich with lunchmeat at home, the floofshare is incorporated into the planning so that he’s ready when the cat trots over and begins singing for his portion.”
2. An animal who lives with others or frequently visits others.
In use: “Several successful floofshare programs involve animal shelters who take cats and dogs to nursing homes. All appreciate the additional interactions and gain a break from their routines.”
Floof Web (floofinition) – Overlay network that uses special software and access codes known only to animals. The floof web is part of the uniweb, a universal web which connects planets and dimensions to one another, providing animals with powers that seem unique or magical to humans, but is advanced quantum computing that accesses the quantum verse.
In use: “Using the floof web, the household pets discovered that a huge earthquake was going to strike. The animals did their best to warn the humans, but humans are simple creatures, with limited intelligence and communication skills, frustrating the animals’ efforts.”
Floofbrag (floofinition) – Recount or comment about animals in a boastful manner.
In use: “He was a quiet man until someone mentioned dogs, and then he became a floofbrag as he shared stories about his home pack’s antics and history.”
Michael Seidel, writer 