Floofbonacci Sequence

Floofbonacci Sequence (floofinition) – The precise order of motions or routines an animal follows whenever a task or activity is completed.

In use: “Every animal establishes a floofbonacci sequence. Dogs often like to turn three times before lying down. Papi, a ginger cat, must always stand and stretch, front legs, back legs, followed by a yawn and a back arch, as part of his floofbonacci sequence before coming into the house.

Toenivore

Toenivore (floofinition) – Animal who likes chewing on people’s foot digits.

In use: “Teak is a wonderfully loving and sweet animal who is also a toenivore, fond of taking on exposed feet, whether someone is walking by, sitting and reading, or asleep in bed, forcing the household to issue guidelines to ALWAYS WEAR SOCKS.”

Floofphoria

Floofphoria (floofinition) – Eperience (or affect) of pleasure or excitement and intense feelings of well-being and happiness brought on by an animal’s presence, thinking about an animal, or viewing an animal video or photograph.

In use: “During troubling times — when the pandemic’s numbers are rising from people testing positive, and the news seems generally bleak — people turn online for stories about animal rescues along with funny or touching videos about animals, trusting that the floofphoria will lift their spirits and make them feel a little better…for a while.”

Floofdentity

Floofdentity (floofinition) – 1. Animal people use to symbolize themselves or their approach to life or problems.

In use: “She wouldn’t call it her spirit animal but after seeing a bobcat as a little girl, she adopted it as her floofdentity, using a bobcat themed mug at work, among other things.”

2. An animal’s distinguishing character or personality.

In use: “The puppy was but eight weeks old but had already cemented a lion floofdentity, fierce and fearless, but noble.”

The Problem

Issuing a hard squawk, a jay glided into the backyard, settling among the crispy brown weeds after a few hops. Cool mountain air stirred the firs and cherry tree bordering the yard.

A ginger and white cat shading herself on the patio flipped over onto her belly and watched the bird. Green eyes grew big. Watchful. She chittered.

The bird snapped off a chirp. Cat and bird glanced around. Six AM on Saturday, a fenced yard. No humans were about.

The cat strolled into the weeds. Bird hopped to her. Exchanges were issued. Then, business.

“What you got?” the cat asked.

“Not much. Neighbors across the street have gone camping. Will be back Friday. Fran, two doors down, fell. Bruised herself but broke nothing. Sissy was sunning herself on her roof yesterday, started taking selfies and almost fell off.”

The cat chuckled. “People.”

“You?”

“Not much. Bear visited the Miltons. Drained their hummingbird feeder. Flipped over a trash can.”

“Heard that. You pass this stuff on to your people?”

“Try. I tell them but they don’t seem to grasp it.”

“Well, keep trying, sister.”

“You, too, brother.”

“Keep cool.”

“Stay safe.”

They parted ways. A while later, the man entered the backyard. Chuckled the cat’s way. “Heard you and that bird going at it.”

The cat meowed several times back, trying to convey the information learned.

“What is it? What are you telling me? You hungry? Want water? A treat? What is it?”

The cat repeated the stories the bird had shared.

The man shook his head. “I don’t know what you’re trying to say.” He went on to water the garden.

The cat sat down with a sigh. That all summed up the problem. People could hear but couldn’t understand.

Floofbulence

Floofbulence (floofinition) – Great agitation or commotion created by an animal’s action or presence.

In use: “All was calm in the backyard, with dogs and cats melting fur puddles in the patio’s shade, until floofbulence ensued after a squirrel entered the yard.”

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