Fabfloofist

Fabfloofist (floofinition)1. Someone who makes up stories about animals.

In use: “Sarah was just three years old, but she was already a fabfloofist, regaling her relatives with adventure tales featuring the family’s cat and dog.”

Floof Over Matter

Floof Over Matter (Often abbreviated as FOM or F.O.M.) (floofinition) 1. Ad hoc policy that a household or organization’s care of animals is paramount.

In use: “He planned to make some changes in the house, but they were immediately terminated because of F.O.M., as his wife said, ‘You can’t do that. It’ll upset the cats and dogs.’ He could have argued that, but they’d been married over a quarter of a century. He understood floof over matter. It was only the floofs and their health and happiness who mattered most.”

2. Magic talents used by animals to make the impossible appear to happen.

In use: “She never understood how her cat got into the places which seemed impossible. Then she read a blog post about F.O.M. — Floof Over Matter — and began to understand that animals had powers which were beyond human comprehension.”

R.F.M.

R.F.M. – Rapid Floof Movement (Floofinition) – Unexpected fast motion done by animals, often without a cause which humans readily comprehend.

In use: “As one, the sleeping floofs raised their heads and then launched a R.F.M. Debra shouted at the disappearing animals, “What’s going on,” but none of them slowed down to explain. They just disappeared into hiding places in other rooms.”

Xenofloofic

Xenofloofic (floofinition) – Fear and hatred of strange or foreign animals, or animals not normally seen in the area.

In use: “Rising up with a yowling growl, Pixie rushed the window in a fresh xenofloofic display, trying to attack the intruder floof — a small tabby with a white chest and matching mitts that Fran had never seen before — through the glass. Pixie was further infuriated that Fran went out and fed the other cat, gave it water, and checked it over for injuries and identification. The gall of her!”

Flooftonia

Flooftonia (floofinition) – Pain or movement disorder caused by immobility or odd positions brought on by sleeping with an animal.

In use: “He’d slept with his head awkwardly canted because he didn’t want to disturb the cat nestled against it, so a fit of flooftonia was afflicting his neck and shoulder.”

Floofsbody

Floofsbody (floofinition) – A person, gofer, or dogsbody who must do boring, menial tasks for animals.

In use: “Most people who live with floofs become a floofsbody, taking care of their bedding, cleaning and replenishing their food and water bowls, brushing their fur, and so on, as if their floof is their master and they are the servant.”

UFP

UFP: Unexpected Floof Presence (floofinition) — Condition where an animal shows up or gets involved without any announcement or invitation.

In use: “Clipping his toenails was stalled by UFP when his cat, Tucker, came over and started rubbing against his hand holding the toenail clippers and then started rolling around on his foot.”

Floofagogy

Floofagogy (floofinition) – The science and art of teaching animals.

In use: “After he was rescued, Buddy Guy, a big tabby Tom, acquired knowledge of floofagogy and started instructing kittens and ferals being fostered by his new human about how to be a cat living with people.”

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