Floofchant (floofinition) – 1. An animal’s strong and continued inclination.

In use: “The young Husky soon revealed floofchants for singing outside the bathroom if the door was closed and stealing food from the table.”

2. An animal’s (or animals’) melodic, and often repetitive sound.

In use: “She was certain the feline queen began the floofchant, a meow that sounded weirdly like, “Feed me now,” but it was when the Beagle, the ginger cat, and the bedroom panther joined that she became unnerved and started opening cans just to shut them up.”


Floofzard (floofinition) – 1. An inherent danger associated with living with animals.

In use: “Big floofzards for people with housepets is stepping in unfortunate materials without warning in the middle of the night, materials which are often wet and stinky, either from being regurgitated, or from a bowel movement, forcing the human victim to do the floofhop until reaching somewhere to wash their foot.”

2. An animal with magical powers as depicted in floofy tales.

In use: “Many people think floofzards are fantasy but animals know floofzards exist and respect them for what they can do. For example, floofzards are often able to compel people to feed them treats and special foods with merely a glance.”


Floofile (floofinition) – 1. The extent to which an animals attracts public.

In use: “The shelter called the Tortie known as Canned (because of the circumstances in which she was found) shy, but she was keeping a low floofile to avoid attracting the wrong kind of attention (again).”

2. A short and secret document detailing a person’s description and attitude toward animals.

In use: “The Floof Exchange had a tetrafloof database of floofiles regarding people on Earth, providing tips on their likes, dislikes, and tendencies, with some floofiles flagged with red notices which meant, “DO NOT TRUST”.


Flooftrot (floofinition) – A broken slow-trotting gait in which a person or animal pursues another, speeding up and slowing down as the other speeds up and slows down.

In use: “Conway pulled his leash from Jackie’s hand. Freed, the big dog began investigating surroundings with his big, black nose. Starting a flooftrot, Jackie moved toward him, bending for the leash dragging along the ground, calling, “Conway, Conway, here boy,” which the dog deliberately ignored. Just as she reached the leash, Conway darted away, mouth opened in a lolling-tongue grin, forcing Jackie to speed up and change course.”


Floofvention (floofinition) – 1. Convening or assembly of animals for a specific purpose.

In use: “The pandemic upset the animals; they were accustomed to the humans all leaving the house, allowing them to hold or attend floofventions where floofvances were often addressed.”

2. An agreement between animals for regulation of matters affecting all of them.

In use: “Floofvention dictated that each pet would eat from its own bowl but Carrot made it his habit to eat from others’ bowls whenever he felt like it, leaving them non-floofed about what to do.”

3. A rule of conduct or behavior among animals.

In use: “By floofvention, the big dogs and cats knew they were to be gentle with the little ones arriving to be fostered, no matter how floofbunctious the little critters might get.”


Surrepflooftious (floofintion) – Something done, made, or acquired by an animal through stealth.

In use: “Crystal, the small black velvet cat with the large jade eyes, was a surrepflooftious food thief. For example, she loved stealing powdered sugar doughnuts. No one ever saw it happen, but the missing doughnuts and white sugar on her paws and face always told on her.”


Lugfloofrious (floofinition) – Looking or sounding like a very sad or dismal animal.

In use: “The elderly cat looked at her and released a lugfloofrious noise that changed her plans for the day and resulted in sharing her life with one of the sweetest creatures she’d ever known, Miss Gunnila Shugafly.”


Infloofmountable (floofinition) – An animal’s behavior that can’t be controlled or abated.

In use: “The dog’s desire to be free to run around at top speed was an infloofmountable trait, making the hound a constant flight risk, and enforcing the need for constant vigfloolance.”

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