Floofhem

Floofhem (floofinition) – A housepet’s willful damage.

In use: “Becca grew aware that her cats and dogs seemed to share a secret agenda, inflicting floofhem on new clothes and shoes, resorting to damaging curtains or sofa, of new clothes weren’t available. Fortunately, she cared more about her pets than her things.”

h/t to Barbara Froman.

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Freefloofer

Freefloofer (floofinition) – Housepet who appears to be a stray because they’re always wandering around as though homeless.

In use: “The friendly little dog was a freefloofer who enjoyed wandering the neighborhood and making new friends. People often thought he was lost, so they took him home, fed him, and doted on him while posting on social media, ‘Lost Dog Found’. Naturally, he wasn’t a lost dog; just a freefloofer.”

Eflooftemology

Eflooftemology (floofinition) – The study or a theory of the nature and grounds of knowledge regarding animals, especially housepets or domesticated animals, with reference to the limits and validity of the knowledge.

In use: “Animals’ innate secrecy and their desire to protect their knowledge limits eflooftemology as animals often defy established ‘facts’ about their thinking, skills, and behavior.”

Flooftraction

Flooftraction (floofinition) – 1. Becoming preoccupied by a housepet’s sounds or activities. 2. A thing that absorbs a housepet’s attention or interest. 3. An animal’s grip on a surface.

In use: “Birds and squirrels became a flooftraction for the cat, whose chittering was a flooftraction for the dog, whose fixed staring became a flooftraction for Marla as she went to get ready for work.”

Floofears

Floofears (floofinition) – A unique hearing capability among pets that allow them to hear cans and refrigerator doors opening, rattling kibble, and package rustling, often from amazingly far distances and frequently through walls and doors.

In use: “Opening a can of food for one cat pestering him, a scratching at the door pulled his attention. Staring in through the window beside the front door, the cat meowed at him. Shaking his head, he went to the door to open it and let the cat in to be fed, even as he marveled at their floofears.”

Floofsuasive

Floofsuasive (floofinition) – Sound, expressions, and behavior that pets employ to gain attention and move others to give them things such as food, treats, and attention.

In use: “One cat employs a sad, drawn out meow that really conveys his deep levels of suffering and deprivation, a combination that’s always floofsuasive.”

Floofup

Floofup (alternative spelling: floof-up) (floofinition) – 1. A mistake or error made by a housepet. 2. A human error or mistake caused by a housepet’s activity.

In use: “She swung the front door closed and hurried away, eager to open her package. In an instant, she realized that she didn’t hear a click from the door. As she turned back,  the dog shouldered the door open and darted out. Shouting his name, she took off after him even as the floofup’s magnitude began growing in her mind.”

Bamfloofzled

Bamfloofzled (floofinition) – Being outsmarted or tricked by an animal or animals working in concert.

In use: “As the dog made a noise in a kitchen, Nancy set her plate of food down and went to see had happened. The cat immediately jumped up, seized food in her mouth and dashed off to share it with the dog. Returning, Nancy saw her missing food and sighed. Yes, she’d been bamfloofzled.”

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