Afloofdala

Afloofdala (floofinition) – Small, lima-bean shaped mass of gray matter located in the medial temporal lobes, that allow humans to emphasize with, love, and care for and about animals.

In use: “Surveys and interviews show that people with small or inactive afloofdalas often thought animals didn’t feel pain and lacked intelligence. Those with active afloofdalas reported otherwise. Interesting, but the size and activity of the afloofdala didn’t affect whether people kept pets, but it did affect how they regard their pets and how the pets are treated.”

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Floofza

Floofza (floofinition) – 1. A pizza made or bought specifically for an animal. 2. Pizza claimed by an animal for their own consumption.

In use: “His cats always wanted pizza, so bowing to the inevitable battle, he always created a floofza for their consumption. They still came after his pie, though.”

Nirfloofa

Nirfloofa (floofinition) – 1. A┬átranscendental state humans feel when with an animal in which there is no suffering, desire, or a sense of self. 2. A transcendental state that animals enter when extremely satisfied, or high on natural herbs, such as catnip.

In use: “After sitting down and sighing to let the tension and stress of the day’s work and subsequent drive home drain out of him, the dog came over and put her head on his leg. After a few minutes of stroking the dog’s soft fur, nirfloofa came over him, and a new sigh, of satisfaction, slipped out.”

Busyfloof

Busyfloof (floofinition) – A meddling, prying, officious, or inquisitive animal.

In use: “Jorge was constantly underfoot, which was a problem, as he was a large, white dog with a fluffy white tail that waved liked a conquering army’s flag. They tried to dissuade him, but the busyfloof was involved in everything from fixing meals to changing diapers, greeting people at the door, answering the phone, and typing on the computer.”

Flooftical

Flooftical (floofinition) – Of or relating to addressing and coping with animals.

In use: “On the flooftical front, he learned to make himself small and quiet, to hold his hand out to be smelled, and to let the animal come to him on their terms.”

Floofvious

Floofvious (floofintion) – 1. Easily perceived or understood by an animal. 2. Clear, self-evident, or apparent to an animal, especially a housepet.

In use: “When the couple opened a bag of chips to munch on while watching the movie, the cats and dog queued, expecting the floofvious.”

Floofpool

Floofpool (floofinition) – A vessel or tub, usually designed for holding water, waste, or laundry, that animals (typically housepets) employ as a bed.

In use: “She didn’t know that the cats were using her laundry basket as a floofpool until she tossed a pair of jeans in, and tremors went through the pile of clothes, followed by an irritated meow.”

Floofspiration

Floofspiration (floofinition) – The process of being mentally stimulated by an animal, especially a housepet, to do or feel something.

In use: She was down, but the dog walked up with this dopey look, with his leash hanging out of his mouth. Floofspiration seizing her, she laughed. “You’re right. It’s too nice a day to sit here feeling sorry for myself. Let’s go for a walk.”

Impromptfloof

Impromptfloof (floofinition) – 1. Acquiring a pet or animal housemate without planning. 2. An action done by an animal, especially a housepet, without apparent thought or planning.

In use: “She saw the puppy injured on the road’s shoulder. She thought he was dead, but picking him up, he yelped and licked her face. After a stop at the vet for treatment, she was an impromptfloof pet-owner for a sandy-colored dog named Road.”

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