Straddle-floof

Straddle-floof (catfinition) – a common game played in households with pets. The game’s simple goal is to straddle a household pet, such as a dog or cat, and walk over it when it’s encountered, rather than walking around the pet, or making it get up and move. Scoring is based on the degree of difficulty, such as items being carried, the level of light, the pet’s size and the number of pets. Bonus points are offered if the pet is asleep and they’re straddled without being disturbed.

In use: “He had a shopping bag in each arm and a large sleeping cat in the middle of the hall rug, a perfect straddle-floof set-up — and he was wearing shoes. He imagined an announcer speaking in hushed golfing tones saying, “He’s going for it.””