The Cat Food

He was in Walmart, a store that he detests and avoids, but here he was, because he was being supportive. While there, WTH, the thinking goes, look at the cat food offerings and prices to update his mental database of such things. This is mostly because the little cat is ill. Always a picky eater, his disease has exacerbated this, so cans are opened for the little feline to pick his way through. Some are more successful than others, but his usual favorites have been soundly rejected. New flavors are required.

So he’s in the aisle, examining prices and offerings beside a couple who are about fifteen years older than him (he thinks), making them in their late seventies. The woman says, “Chicken and waffle cat food.”

Before thinking can be processed, his mouth is engaged. “No way. Really? You have to be making that up.”

She points out the package and he examines it. The three agree, it’s an absurd idea. None of them are buying it,

They talk, of course, about their cats’ eating habits, and how all are picky eaters. The man relates a tale about one cat.

The man loves the shrimp he buys at Costco. So does the cat, who gets aggressive about it, trying to steal it out of his hand and off his plate when he’s eating. He gives the cat some, of course, because he’s a human, and the cat is in charge. Yes, clearly. We all know this.

But, here is the punch line. The cat won’t touch any cat food with shrimp in it.

“Figures,” the man says, walking away. “Cats, right?”

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20 thoughts on “The Cat Food

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  1. I always knew that cats were uber picky, and of course I believed mine was the king of picky cats. He only “eats” the gravy from the canned cat food. But when I bought him the Friskey’s Gravy Sensations because I thought my cat Charlie would love it, he didn’t. The picky mofo will only eat the chicken cat dinner cat food and slurp out the gravy and leave the chicken bits behind. I think he’s getting back at me for dressing him up as a shark for Halloween….I’m pretty sure he is. Great story! 🙂

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  2. Oh man! Those were the days when SNL was the best, back then. I remember the “Cat Shark”, that was when SNL was actually funny. I loved all of those skits, how about the Two Wild and Crazy Guys? Or even better when Gilda Radner and Bill Murray played the nerds? Or Mr. Robinson’s Neighborhood….ahhh the 80’s.
    It’s amazing to me how cats do that, they eat around what they don’t like and leave it behind. Oh yeah and my cat likes canned chicken, the people food canned chicken. But I can’t afford to keep him fat on people food canned chicken, we’d both be living out of my car. lol

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  3. Hahaha, well I wouldn’t know too much about that. Charlie doesn’t like tuna (if you can believe that?) he’d give me what I call “Cat Stank Face” when I’d buy cat food with tuna in it. That face cats make when they smell something and then wince.

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  4. Right? I thought so too, but he does liked canned (not jar) anchovies, go figure. I think he may have been an Egyptian cat in one of his other lives because he is way beyond the pickiness of an average cat. He also likes small chunks of butter and cheddar cheese. Which the vet says I shouldn’t feed him, but I sneak him a small piece every now and then.

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    1. We had a cat who loved peas and potato chips. Another loved donuts with powdered sugar. The third loved creamers. This group of cats won’t touch any of those things. It’s chicken and fish for them. You can never know what they like to eat. Kind of like people, but more discriminating.

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  5. I have to agree. My cat has like a thousand cat beds of different shapes and sizes, and where does he prefer to sleep? In the guest room, on the bed on a tattered old bathrobe of mine. Before I gave into his bathrobe instance I went and got one from a second hand store (because I wasn’t going to buy a brand new one for him) and where did that get me? I washed it and even wore it for a week. But NOPE, he wanted mine, so bought myself a new robe, I should have known better. So now Charles the Cat has two bathrobes he can sleep on in the guest bedroom bed….which he has all to himself.

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  6. Well, you have a couple more beasts than I do. I can only see myself caring for Charlie, but I swear he’s more than one gato. My beast is an indoor/outdoor cat and he spends his days in his “nest” sleeping and in the evenings he comes in to dine and sleep some more. It’s like having an entire pride of silver tiger striped tabby’s….
    He sure eats like an entire pride of Tabby gatos. lol

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  7. Well, our Flash likes people food: salmon, pork, chicken, cheese, tuna, pizza, and sometimes even lasagna. She has become a ‘beggar cat’ (begging constantly for cheese and milk). I think she is losing her hearing because she meows so loudly, and her ‘alarm clock’ has not reset from the time change. Just another reason for getting rid of this archaic spring-forward/fall-back time change that we subject ourselves to every six months.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Wow, Flash reminds me of our Jade decades ago. Anything we were eating, she was eating. From all you’ve said, she’s quite a character.

      Yes, I agree with you – get rid of that DST. Other than the secret hour on the first day, it sucks. Cheers

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