Floofematics (catfinition) – the abstract science of trying to balance what you do for your cat(s) and what they do for you.
In use: “Tired of cleaning up hairballs, answering summons to give them treats and catnip, and cleaning potatoes out of the litter box, he sat down with a glass of wine to review the floofematics of the arrangement.”
Michael Seidel, writer 
I think the scale is very unbalanced, until they come and cuddle, then all is forgiven.
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Yes, that’s the essence of it. How can you measure the impact of a purring cuddle?
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Um, what they do for us? Where’d that come from? Any benefit to us (and by my calculation it’s considerable) is incidental.
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Oh, my cats will sometimes present me breakfast in bed – a leaf or feather that they thought I might fancy, or a creature they killed, and they applaud when tip back a few beers and sing songs that I remember. That’s what they do for me.
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I wasn’t counting the corpses as a benefit, I confess. But I did have one cat who sang along with me. Off key and out of tune, but enthusiastically. On the other hand, another used to explode out of the linen cupboard, where he like to sleep, and stalk out when I started singing. Our current cat doesn’t care if I sing or recite the phone book, but he’s there when I wake up, soaking up a bit of warmth and companionship. So yes, there are benefits to us, but I’d still argue that from the cats’ point of view they’re incidental–byproducts of their full-time job, which is to benefit themselves.
Lovely creatures, cats. I really do like them, but I don’t think I’ve ever met any creature as self-absorbed.
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Too true, they’re tremendously self-absorbed. One sidled up to me as I was drinking a glass of water yesterday. I didn’t know he was there and nudged him with a toe. Realizing he was there and moving, I was now trying not to step on him or trip over him. He paused to hiss at me before running off. I managed to stay upright. In his telling of the story, I was trying to kill him.
But, they have a strange, redeeming sweetness, and their purrs have a mellowing influence on me.
I had a good laugh over your comments. Cheers
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