Beer Etiquette

He found himself forced to explain beer etiquette to others. 

“Beer etiquette,” others said. “Like, the proper way to drink beer?”

Which led, inevitably to statements, “I know how to drink beer. I have a PhD in beer drinking. I’m a natural.” These comments were regarded as hilarious.

No, that is not what he is talking about. He is talking about when you take beer to someone else’s home, or to a social gathering. When you take beer, a six-pack, for example, to someone’s house for a party, for example, you should always remove one beer.

“That would make it a five pack,” someone quickly and acutely noted.

Yes, he agreed, smiling, preparing to continue his explanation.

“Why would you do that?”

If you’ll give me a moment, I’ll explain.

“Okay, explain.”

Yes. Removing one bottle or can shows that you like this beer so much that you had to take one for yourself before you brought it. If you don’t take one, people will think that you don’t like that beer, and wonder why you’re bringing beer that you don’t like.

Cries of, “Bullshit,” and “Come on,” answered, but he was adamant that this was good beer etiquette. Always take one bottle out, whether it’s a six or twelve pack, or a case. If it’s a growler, you should remove twelve to sixteen ounces.

“Do you drink it?” someone said.

You can.

“What about wine?” a wag asked.

Another laughed. “Do you take six packs of wine to people’s houses?”

Another said, “Do they make six packs of wine?”

No, he said, gently, this etiquette is about beer. 

Silent drinking pervaded the gathering. “Well,” the wag said, “Next time I go, I’ll just take an empty case and told them that it was too good to give away.” Then he laughed like it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard. 

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