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An Alanis Morissette Moment

Thursday afternoon, under warm sunshine, Handley parked his car and dashed across the street.

Returning from the cafe with his purchases scant minutes later, the man beside him was opening his door. A box was on the ground beside him.

“Excuse me,” the man said.

Door unlocked, being opened, hot food starting to cool, Handley paused, eyebrows up in expectation. “Yes?”

“Do you have jumper cables?”

Handley nodded. “I do. You need a jump?”

Smiling, the man popped his hood and picked up the box. “No, I just bought a charger. I’d been waiting for an hour. Nobody had cables. I figured that the first person I saw in the parking lot after I went out and bought this would have cables.

“And here you are.”

Handley commiserated. “Isn’t it ironic?”

Net Effect

I read it on the net

you know you better bet

that it’s the greatest most outrageous and incredible thing

ever

I saw it on the net

you know I won’t regret

believing everything that I’m seeing

and hearing

It was spread across the net

so you better be set

to know this is the truth and won’t go away

it’s out there for-

ever

So just put it on the net

with a link for them to select

and you know you’ll have them reading writing raging and de-

bating

 

Battlefloof Galactica

Battlefloof Galactica (floofinition) – Franchise of stories centering around how animals escaped their original dying solar system and came to be on Earth.

In use: “The first episode of Battlefloof Galactica introduced viewers to the original thirteen warrior cats, dogs, birds, and other animals, and their leader, Galactica, a turtle who conceived of a floofship to escape their solar system and find a new world.”

Choices

He was recovering from his surgery. Blood, of course, kept seeping into the bandages. They told him that would happen.

The surgery’s grogginess was finally gone by the next morning, but he was surprised by how much the surgery limited him. His movements were slow and tentative. Talk about a damn anchor. He felt pain, too, dull, throbbing, and steady.

They’d given him pain killers. He read the label and all of its warnings. Taking hydrocodon ACET 5/325 might make him drowsy or dizzy. “Do not drink alcohol with this drug.”

Well, that was that. He preferred a glass of wine or a mug of beer over some pain relief. Besides, if he took the hydrocodon, he wasn’t supposed to drive. He’d been driving since he was fourteen, beginning on the back-country roads of western Pennsylvania over fifty years ago. Not drive? That was unacceptable. He kept his red Camaro convertible clean and polished. Forget all of his education and work success; driving was one of the foundations of who he was, driving, beer and wine, and rock and roll.

That was him.

Unmoored

Leaping out of the recliner, he looked wildly around the dark room.

Where am I? How did I get here?

Hunting for the ship’s control panels — they should be — there — he swung left to right and searched his mind for the moment’s handle.

Calm fell into place, followed by recognition that he was in his den. He’d fallen asleep watching television, but had set it to time off after an hour.

Relief swept him. Trudging down the hall to go to bed, he muttered, “Unstuck in time, Mister Vonnegut? More like unmoored in reality.”

It Comes

Slipping, sliding, easing, hiding,

it comes, it comes

bringing warmer clothing out and pushing big rain clouds about

it comes, it comes

pasting new colors on leaves and stripping branches bare,

it comes, it comes

before you know it, you look around, and it’s not coming,

Fall is already here.

 

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