There it is, the bolt informing you that, holy shit, it’s almost December. December begins this Saturday. 

If you’re like me — and I hope you’re not — you’re agog with amazement that November is almost empty. Hell, 2018 has almost spent its calendar, and here I am, still dragging myself forward.

But, you know, take the positive, I am moving forward. It doesn’t go as fast or smoothly as desired, dreamed, or hoped for, but I keep creeping forward.

What will the end of November mean? Well, in some ways, it means a re-assessment. It means, for me, an agnostic in America, enduring the holidays, which sometimes means enjoying myself, respecting others’ beliefs and traditions, and otherwise, doing what I do, except there’s more food and music.

Likewise, the end of the year means some searching, but I search almost every day, looking for truth, hope, justice, luck, love, something to eat, answers for puzzling questions, etc. So, really, nothing, but because of where I live and who I am, everything.

Yes, it’s a conundrum. It’s a good word, conundrum.

5 thoughts on “Conundrum

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  1. 2018 didn’t just pass by, it speed through with a street rod engine, double carburetor and a blower out of the hood. It seems only a few months ago I woke up on January 1 2018, and here we are on the cusp of 2019! Where did this year go? Which means I’m another year older, maybe a bit wiser but definitely older. And I too search for answers (maybe not as poetically or intellectually as you my friend) what have I done this year? I didn’t travel, my team lost, will I ever be a great writer, why is the coffee pot here at work always burnt on the bottom? Who keeps taking my favorite parking space? And most importantly, can that stupid life size Elf on a Shelf across the street stop staring at me and being all “judgy?” lol

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    1. Thanks for sharing. I thought it was just me, because, I’m told, it’s often just me. But I’m happy to learn that experiencing 2018 as if it was strapped to an Atlas rocket launching gives me some relief.

      I didn’t travel, either. My teams all lost. The effort to be a great writer, or at least semi-decent, remains a quest.

      Damn those people and the coffee pots. If you take the last cup of coffee, you TURN THE POT OFF.

      They’re probably taking your favorite parking space because it pisses you off. Everyone’s out to get you, you know.

      That’s why the Elf on the Shelf is watching you. Ho, ho, ho.


      Liked by 1 person

      1. Let me just point out that you are a great writer already, you are published and that says a helluva lot. As for the other points, ahem here I go…
        1. Burnt coffee pot, I agree with you, but here there are seven, I mean SEVEN pots of coffee brewed a day, a DAY and I don’t even drink coffee from the pot here. It would be like taking a swig of water out of a sewer pipe. Because I have NEVER seen anyone wash the damned thing. No joke, but the smell is gawd awful! That’s why I have instant, not the best but it will do.
        2. The parking space thing is not everyday, but it’s been happening a lot more lately. I get the greatest spots because I get here at 7am. But the last couple of days some fool and his Dallas cowboy logo encrusted awful Dodge Ram has been taking my spot. I know I sound like Sheldon from BBT but damn, if it wasn’t that dude in his truck I wouldn’t mind so much. The Cowboys….yuck!
        3. That damned creepy life size Elf on a Shelf that my neighbor decided to get is extremely unsettling. And the beeotch doesn’t even have small kids or grand kids, which means, WTF!?!?!
        Thank you for making my day! lol

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Now you’ve embarrassed me. To your other points. 1. Can’t stand places and people like that. WTF? Makes you wonder how people can drink that. Makes me shudder. 2. Grrr. The Cowboys. Anyone except them, the Patriots, and any AFC North team or the Oakland Raiders. 3. That is creepy. The Elf on the Shelf is creepy on its own, as we’ve already covered and established. A giant one is creepier yet. Christ, I hope she doesn’t get a giant Elf on the Shelf float. Woof.


        Liked by 1 person

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