Sunshine is making its way. Yesterday’s prevailing gray has been subdued. Temperatures from 46 to 57 degrees F, now and later. It’ll be cloudy. Rain could slip in. So could fog. We’ll see what we see for today, Munda, December 8, 2025. At least it has a less wintry feel to it. Yeah, I know how much I whine. Other places are digging out of snow, dealing with slush and ice. Here I sit, the prince on his cushion, upset about a pea.
Haven’t done this song in a while. “You May Be Right” is a fave for me. Like the words, their sentiments, the beat, and Billy Joel’s delivery. It’s a ripped from life sort of song. That’s what brought it here today. Mom and sisters are now in open war. One sister said she won’t have naught to do with Mom. Sis, the primary caretaker, said she will no longer speak to Mom or help her. Third sister said she is also not speaking to Mom because Mom is not listening and is shouting at everyone. Exhausting a thousand miles away plus.
Mom wants to return to ‘her house’. Her house has been cleaned out of food. Slowly stripped of stuff to make it saleable, an effort begun back in October. Sis and the others are saying, “Let her go if that’s what she wants.” I tried to make peace. Tried to explain how it didn’t work for Mom in October when Frank was hospitalized and it won’t work now. Sis and the others have moved past caring, they say. Mom has alienated everyone in the house. Sigh.
Tried to explain to Mom why it won’t work for her to return to her place. Mom’s response was, well, startling in its unmoored style. She told me that my sister had gotten to me. Went into something about how that was because she’d been in and out of a wheelchair back in October but now they’re keeping her in a wheelchair so her back and legs are week. Like, what? Mom finished, “I’m going to get out of here, one way or another.”
Frequently in the conversations and texts about the situation, I end up saying, “You may be right.” After observing me thinking it so often, The Neurons decided that I needed the song and cranked it up in the morning mental music stream. Although I often look for recordings of live performances, I enjoy the original video for this song, so here it is.
In reflection about Mom and sis, etc., I had doubts about that arrangement working. Mom is hardheaded; sis inherited that from her. Mom also have several other skills, like being overdramatic and the ability to push others’ buttons. Sis and Mom have history. Nonetheless, I was hopeful. This option was also the only one Mom agreed to. I think all concerned dreamed of a different outcome. Of course, we can’t say how much drug, pain, aging, stress, emotions, etc., is dictating this course. I’ve seen other families endure it with grit teeth and heavy sighs. Now it’s our family’s turn. I don’t have hopes for any sort of quick, easy, or happy outcomes. One of them is texting me right now so I must go see what the latest is.
Need I say, we all miss Frank for his patience, support, and endurance?
Hope peace and grace finds and holds you. I’ve had a couple slugs of coffee. Think I’ll have a few more. Here we go. Cheers
Michael Seidel, writer 
Good luck in a bad situation.
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Thanks, my friend. I’ll probably drink to that. Cheers
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This is not advice, (because I’m bad at that, though I will try my best when asked,) it’s simply experience. I’ve been lucky in my own family, that as people aged and became less safe on their own, they voluntarily entered a place where professional assistance was available as needed; I feel the same way for myself. DH’s family, though, were adamantly opposed to moving to a place where they could get assistance when they needed it, rather than whenever someone could get to their place, etc. MIL had to go into skilled nursing after she fell and sustained a head injury while on warfarin. While she was rehabbed to be able to go home, she liked it there. She said she preferred professionals to help her when she needed it, because while sometimes they “bossed her around” about taking better care of herself, they were not her kids bossing her around. She felt more like herself with us while she was at skilled nursing (some halls were for the pretty decently abled, but it was a nursing home.)
I’m just passing that along. Sometimes people’s family can plant seeds to spark new ideas, maybe. I’m also not saying your mom needs a nursing home. I’m sorry this got long, but I wanted it to make sense.
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I appreciate your thoughts. My sisters and I have pushed for Mom to go into assisted living or a nursing home for the past three to four years. Barring that, we wanted her to have professional assistance regularly visiting her. Mom said no to all, but Frank was still living with her. We wanted it to go as you outlined but couldn’t make it happen. Thanks again, Ali. Cheers
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