A night of intense but entertaining dreams had finished. The day was beginning with the emptying of the bladder and the feeding of the cats. They’d surrounded me and, despite bowls of kibble, were claiming starvation.
The activities engaged are the automatic sort, not much thinking required, leaving me free to ponder the dreams. That led to a Queensryche line from “Silent Lucidity” (1991):
“Your dream is over… or has it just begun?”
I mean, my dreams had been unfathomably lucid, where I as myself in my dream was interviewing the me having the dream, about a dream which was still taking place. So, I ponder, were there three dream version of me happening simultaneously, which led now to the conscious ‘real’ me pondering those three dream people? Or was this another dream?
My wife made some delicious spicy chick pea soup for dinner yesterday. We both love soups, and she delights in finding healthy recipes.
It was good soup weather, coolish but sunny, with a blue sky that let us see the far mountains. As I sat to eat the soup, I regarded its contents and breathed its aroma. Spinach, chick peas, carrots…good stuff, made with her homemade stock. Warm ciabatta bread (we’re mad about ciabatta bread) was available. Dipping the bread in the soup and eating it as the soup cooled was almost orgasmic.
After tasting it, I said, “This is great soup. What a wonderful smell. Thanks for making it.”
She said nothing. After a few minutes of quiet eating, she offered, “This is good soup, isn’t it?”
I kept eating but I thought, is this a trap? Did she not hear me before? Is she fishing for compliments, or just being redundant? (That’s probably the wrong way to think of it.)
In the past, I may have sniffed, “I just said that.” This time, I answered, “Yes, this is great soup. Thanks for making it.”
But my mind jumped on a train of thoughts about comments I’d made throughout the day that didn’t gain me a reply, no reply at all.
Which took me to the Genesis song from 1981, “No Reply at All”.
Today’s song, “Slide” by the Goo Goo Dolls (1998) is about a pregnant girl and her situation, slide always means, I gotta go. We consistently used it in the military during my career. It was a throwaway: “Hey, I gotta slide, see you later.”
Don’t know why it came up today, though. Just started up in my head, “Why don’t you slide.” Just one of those free-association memory things, I guess. Or maybe it was a subconscious desire to go somewhere and do something under the kind of sunlit blue skies
Today’s song came out in 1994. IBM had just purchased the company who employed me; that company had purchased the start-up that I’d been working for. So my employment record was like Russian dolls (which originated in Japan, BTW).
We were living in Half Moon Bay, CA, and had a comfortable life. But I had an uncomfortable feeling it was going in the wrong direction. We started making plans about where we could move. Texas? North Carolina? Pennsylvania, Ohio, New Mexico, Washington…we roamed the net, searching for answers.
I’d just sold a few short stories, so I as feeling good about that. This song came out. Catching me by surprise on the radio, the repeated chorus, “What you waiting for”, seemed expressed directly at me. I listened to see who it was, but the radio didn’t say.
I hunted it down on the net, learning it was Gwen Stefani, “What You Waiting For?” Later, I read that she’d written the song in response to having writer’s block. That resonated with me.
All of that is background. Today, it was about the cats. Our air is at 52. Don’t even smell smoke any more (which reminds me, check on the fires up north and down south). The cats had been released when we hit moderate on the AQI scale, much to their joy. Today, I had the door open to let in Tucker.
He paused to sniff the air before entering, then sat down. Looking up, he intently regarded me. To which I said (yeah, you know), “What you waiting for?”
It’s a good song for today. What are you waiting for? November? Clean skies and better weather? An end to the pandemic? A sign of God.
Looked out the window early. Blue skies and thin white clouds stared back. There, there in the distant, still standing, were the forested mountains. Hurray!
AQI is moderate — below one hundred — so the cats and I popped out to sniff the air. That’s when Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers began “Into The Great Wide Open” (1991) in my mind. Here we go, rebels without a clue.
Never seen the video before. Quite a cast, with Johnny Depp, Faye Dunaway, and Gabrielle Anwar.
Ah, today began with a groggy morning. Some nocturnal critter was busy under the house. So we were up addressing it by stomping on the floor to chase them out. (What else do you do at four AM in that situation?) Dominos fell, and the cats got busy (yeah, not humping, not busy in that way).
Out of the flotsam left behind were some lyrics from Blur’s “Song 2” (1997).
I got my head done When I was young It’s not my problem It’s not my problem
The rest of the song swam in, leaving me dancing around the kitchen as coffee was brewed. I thought, that’s a faux peppy song suitable for these days. I think that because so many want to pretend that everything is normal, especially the telly people setting up broadcast schedules, the sports people who want to pursue their championships, and the POTUS. “Everything is fine, look at the stock market.”
Meanwhile, the U.S. west coast is on fire and Hurricane Sally is beating down Alabama and other southern states. Unemployment is at an ugly number, food prices are rising, and food insecurity is spreading. On top of these disasters, we have the cherry on top that is the COVID-19 pandemic. What’s the death number in the U.S.? Two hundred thousand? Whatever, time for some football! Woo-hoo.
So, here is “Pump It Up” by Elvis Costello, another 1978 memory.
This song, “My Back Pages”, is by Bob Dylan. I was more familiar with the Byrds’ version which came out in 1967. It struck me as I was moving toward my teens and getting my footing in the music that moved me. I’ve always thought it was about learning and changing, which fit my evolving philosophy.
So I sought the song today, thinking it fit these times, and found this version. Featuring Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Eric Clapton, Roger McGuinn, Neil Young, George Harrison, people I think are pretty good musicians, it’s the 1992 Bob Dylan tribute concert from 1992.
Remembering 2001 and thinking about the current crises — yeah, there’s a lot going on in parallel — brought 2001 Train song, “Drops of Jupiter”, to mind. The words appeal to my maudlin side and lift me.
But tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet? Did you finally get the chance To dance along the light of day And head back to the Milky Way? And tell me, did Venus blow your mind? Was it everything you wanted to find? And did you miss me while you were Looking for yourself out there?
Sorry, a bit down today. As I awoke and wrestled with dreams and thoughts about recent events, Frank Sinatra began singing “That’s Life”. It rolled into Dire Straits and “The Walk of Life”.
Getting up, though, I stared out at the smoky air and heard Pink Floyd, “Breathe” and then the Police, “Every Breath You Take”.
It looks like a nuclear winter out there. Gray, fouled air, no sun, no life. People are sequestered in their homes so the usual parade of hikers, walkers, and cyclists are gone. Tourists have left town, leaving the streets empty. I haven’t heard nor seen the usual birds, or any deer. Hope they’re all safe somewhere.
Nuclear thoughts brought up “Radioactive” by The Firm and then the Imagine Dragons song.
None of these are good for a theme song on such a down day. I challenged my mind to find me something perkier. Being the asshole that it is, my mind responded with “Yummy Yummy Yummy”.
I wasn’t amused. Come on, shake it off, I told myself. That invited Taylor Swift’s 2015 pop song, “Shake It Off”.
No. Sorry.
Finally decided on an old Coldplay song. Not really lively as I wanted, but reflects my hope.
