Tag: Changes

Saturday’s Theme Music — The End

Ashland, southern Oregon.

Saturday, August 1, 2026. Happy Lammas Day!

It’s 71 F in our valley at the moment. Light, high white clouds. We expect a high in the upper 80s.

A new heat dome is moving into the region. But the jet stream shifted a few years ago. Now we’re often protected from those heat domes. It can change again at any moment, so I’ll take it for now and celebrate the small win.

It’s a new month but much hasn’t changed.

Eight-five fires are burning in Oregon.

They still haven’t closed on Mom’s house. She is aware that it’s being sold, though, asking me for updates every day.

Trump is still lying. Still squirming, trying to distract us from his failures.

The Epstein files haven’t been released. Trump’s war with Iran is still going on. Affordability remains a crisis. Healthcare costs are going up.

Like many people, I’m waiting for other things. Like the old story: waiting for the other shoe to drop.

So, it’s a new month, but the same mode of waiting.

Without much surprise, The Neurons caught onto my thinking. My Neurons can be slow and flaky, easily distracted by games and cats, but like a car, they can get fired up and pointed in the right direction once in a while.

Today’s song in the morning mental music stream is “Waiting for the End”. This is a Linkin Park song. Came out in 2010. I caught it on SNL and went looking for it to hear it again.

Sample Lyrics:

Waiting for the end to come
Wishing I had strength to stand
This is not what I had planned
It’s out of my control

Yeah, yeah
What was left when that fire was gone?
I thought it felt right, but that right was wrong
All caught up in the eye of the storm
And trying to figure out what it’s like moving on
And I don’t even know what kind of things I’ve said
My mouth kept moving, and my mind went dead
So, I’m picking up the pieces now, where to begin?
The hardest part of ending is starting again

The song is about hope, paralysis, and frustration, IMO. Feels right for today. Here we are, waiting for the end, trying to figure out how we define the end.

I hope you have a strong day, whatever one it is, whatever your season, a day that comes with lasting peace and grace.

Cheers

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The Sisters Dream

I was with several of my sisters. We were all younger than now.

Don’t know where we exactly were. Outside. Mostly flat and sort of muddy to start.

I’d been off doing something and then returned, looking for them, as it was time to go. I found them by a large broken cement sewer pipe coming out of the base of a dirt hill. Multiple bottles and trash was there.

One of the sisters asked, “Michael, can you help us? We want to clean up these bottles but we don’t know how.”

They had two large plastic containers with a spout on top. Way too small to put the bottles in. So I tore the top of the plastic away. They thanked me and we loaded the bottles up, often breaking them. Some bottles were already broken. As they warned me to be careful, I picked up the bottles and put them in the plastic. Then I carried those away, depositing them somewhere safe.

I was ready to go, so I began walking. My sisters were several hundred yards away. I wanted time to myself. Deciding to avoid them, I began running. My sisters called my name: I ignored them, running faster.

I crossed the muddy plain and then ended up on a highway’s wide shoulder. Traffic was heavy to my right. Dusk was coming. Left was a lot of new constructions: houses and stores were being built, but was suspended for the night.

I thought, wow, that’s a lot of construction. The construction and changes threw me off. I hadn’t been in the area for a while. Confused about where I was going, I decided to go back to my sisters.

Turning around, I gawked with some amazement. I hadn’t realized how far and fast I’d run. Running back, my speed amazed me even more.

I reached the spot where I’d last seen my sisters. They weren’t visible. I called them; no answer.

Then I found them, along with their previous husbands, and more of my family. I looked for my wife but she wasn’t there. I saw my younger sister’s ex-husband, JJ, and said hello to him, adding, “Good to see you.”

The group told me we were going to Sharon and John’s. She’s my sister and that’s her husband. Then the group kind of wandered around, dawdling. Impatient, I went to Sharon and John’s house.

It was a small place. In the dining room was a large oval, polished wood table. Arrayed in front of it on one side were three rows of seven baby highchairs. They were different colors and ages. Each had a placard on it.

I was mystified. Like, what’s going on here? Is this where they expected us – adults – to sit? We wouldn’t fit in those chairs. No, they seemed to be set up for something. Classes for children?

Then the chairs rearranged themselves. Many disappeared. Matthew Perry was seated at one of the tables. Reprising his role as Chandler Bing from “Friends”, he did a few scenes. Except, he was the size of a baby.

John came in. I said, “How was that done,” gesturing to Perry/Bing in a highchair. John explained, “Oh, that’s Matthew Perry. He was in “Friends”.”

I answered, “I know all that, but that’s not him. That’s the size of a child. Is that a puppet? Animation?” It was completely lifelike.

We went back and forth, with John explaining the same thing in almost the same ways. I kept asking questions, trying to clarify it, but never got an answer. My sister came in, interrupting us to announce that there were sandwiches in the other room.

Dream end.

1

Monday’s Theme Music – Fears & Monsters

Ashland, southern Oregon — Monday, July 20, 2026.

Smoke lingered until about midnight. That kept the area heat sealed in. Overnight slowly dropped into the low seventies after a daytime high of 96 F at our house.

Less smoke here today. Tiny, scattered showers. Now 80, 91 is the expected high.

Our smoke is from several fires. Dominating the skies is the East Evans Creek Fire. From the reports we’re getting, this fire will continue for several more weeks.

My younger sister, Gina, continues preparing Mom’s home for a change of ownership. She began by trying to sell a few things. Then items were given to charity, thrift stores, or the scrap man. One young woman, though, came early and bought several things. Gina kept in touch with her, giving her more items as time went by. Gina reported that she gave the woman a vacuum cleaner yesterday.

The woman said, “You don’t know how it’s helped me with all that you’ve given me.”

Gina replied, “I hope you remember and can help someone in the future.”

“I will,” the woman replied.

More US troops have been killed in Trump’s war with Iran. Trump claimed the US won the war before — 32 times. He also claimed it was over as far back as March of 2026, less than a month after he started it. Here we are, though, 142 days later, still at war with Iran, and it seems to be escalating.

The war is part of Operation Epic BE VERY AFRAID, itself part of Operation Epic LOOK — SQUIRREL! On the one hand, Trump does things and then tries distracting us. Then, as that fails to distract us because we become inured to his lies, he pivots and tries to make us afraid. Then Trump claims only he can fix it.

For example, back when he was running for office in 2024, Trump was all about affordability.

Your Trump Quote(s) of the Day:

Anyone can do the research and see how Trump operates. In this instance — affordability — he blasted Democrats about affordability when running for office in 2024.

About 14, 15 months later, Trump declares affordability will be much better under him and Republicans.

But, as prices don’t go down, and even increase, Trump declares affordability is a hoax. Created by the ‘opposition’, of course.

Yet, he was the one running so hard on it back in 2024.

He’s essentially declaring that he ran on a hoax.

Sure, but his hoax was enough to dupe a sufficient number of people to vote for him.

Now, though — July, 2026 — fewer people are no longer buying Trump’s excuses.

Half of Americans struggle to afford groceries and gas, exclusive poll finds

Republicans Increasingly Say Finances Worse Under Trump

With plunging popularity and approval, Trump has accelerated fear tactics. Communists. Stolen elections. Iran with nukes.

And Trump’s war with Iran takes the biggest stage, the most political oxygen.

Expect more fearful hysteria coming from the White House in the days to come.

Today’s music is by David Bowie. The Neurons caught me shaking my head over Trump’s manipulating language and unfounded declarations. In response, they fired up “Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps).

The song came out in 1980. The chorus fits Trump and his ‘be-very-afraid’ style, but I’m more drawn to Robert Fripp’s guitar work on it.

Chorus:

[Chorus]
Scary monsters
Super creeps
Keep me running
Running scared
Scary monsters
Super creeps
Keep me running
Running scared

h/t to Genius.com

I hope the creeps, monsters and fears leave you and your friends and family alone, giving you time for happiness, love, and to gorw.

Cheers

0

The Rabbit Dream

I was at an outdoor gathering with others. None were ‘real-life’ friends. I knew them casually in the dream, as we’d just completed some kind of training or gathering.

Setup was very casual, and I was much young then my RL age. Just wrapping up, I received notifications and tickets about my travel plans. I glanced at them but didn’t read them deeply, just making myself aware of what they were.

Walking across a large swath of grass towards where the others were with food, grill, picnic tables, I came across a large brown rabbit. It was watching me as I walked by, and I realized, oh, it’s hungry.

So I said, “Are you hungry?”

Wagging it tail, it hopped toward me.

I chuckled to myself. “Why, you’re just like a cat or a dog, aren’t you?” Then, walking on, I added, “Wait here. I’ll get you something to eat.”

The others were sitting around the tables, bullshitting. We’d eaten earlier. I was trying to figure out, what does a rabbit eat? But I knew what a rabbit ate; I didn’t see anything like that on the table or grill. I only saw buns and cookies. Then I did notice a little salad left.

I casually picked up a few things, including a cookie, not wanting to share with the others that I was feeding the rabbit. The rabbit jumped up on the table and began eating.

Pretending to be upset, I chided the rabbit, “Get down off the table, you’re not supposed to be eating that.”

But I thought, that’s what I’ll give the rabbit to eat.

The rabbit jumped down. One of the guys there said, “You were going to feed that rabbit, weren’t you?”

I denied it, but he went on, “You were going to give him that cookie.”

Shrugging, I replied, “So what if I was?”

Giving the rabbit food, I walked away. Remembering my tickets, I pulled them out to check the details. Everything was washed out by water spots.

For a moment, I thought, how did that happen?

Then I was angry about it. One of the others walked past and asked, “How’s it going?”

I explained what had happened, showing my tickets. They said, “Same thing happened to me. What are you going to do?”

I replied, “I’ll just go to the airport. There will be someone there who can help me.” Shrugging, I thought, there could also be an administrator here who could help.

As I began looking around, trying to figure out where to go to find the administrator, the dream ended. 

0

A Dad Leak Dream

There was a leak in the bathroom.

A thick tube of clear water spurted out of the wall. White tiles had been removed above the tub about five feet up. Oh, dear, what a mess, with some black fuzzy thing happening in the opening.

A trio of engineers, casually dressed, of different styles, heights, ages, one woman, two men, came in on behalf of the townhouse association. Because this wasn’t unique to this townhouse. It’d happened throughout the complex. This trio was going unit to unit to assess and strategize. I was just watching them from back by the door, listening as they ignored me. The spoke of how to fix it, what must be done.

Leaving, I headed across a common through sunshine to my own townhouse because, hey, that had been my father’s place, which slightly changed everything. He wasn’t there to look after it, so I was acting on his behalf.

I entered my own townhouse where the same problem existed but seemed to be on a much smaller scale. Some wall had been removed from the bathroom to the right which didn’t seem to have anything to do with the leak. I didn’t understand what that was about but I knew where to go for explanation.

I sought that women and this little rotund blonde explained something that kind of made sense and eased my anxieties. Going off again, I found I had a broken arm. No, not broken, just not working right. I’d been advised to keep it in a sling. I didn’t have a sling, so I fashioned one, and then modified it again and again, decided this was a good place to keep things, like my wallet, keys, and glasses.

So I tucked them in but then needed more material, so I added other things, and reshaped it, and reshaped it. People were going past as I did this and I turned away, trying to keep things private.

I decided to call my stepmother to tell her about Dad’s townhouse. Then I realized that Dad was dead and this was a dream. That I had actually a dream in a dream, and that the townhouse with the plumbing problem wasn’t real.

But I called my stepmother. I said, “I was thinking about Dad because it’s his birthday.” Then I realized, that’s not right. I said, “No, because it was my birthday.”

She was talking but it came to me, this call isn’t happening; it’s also a dream.

I awoke.

0

Medical Update

Received my biopsy results the other day and saw my urologist today.

The TURBT procedure seemed to get all of the cancer. Didn’t get into the muscle tissue, blood, or connective tissue.

That’s all good news.

My bladder seems to be healing well, based on observations. No pain, clearer urine.

The next steps begin in August, maybe September. After my bladder has healed from its surgery, we’ll begin a series of BCG washes. This is an instillation of tuberculosis bacilli into the bladder. This trains the immune system to attack the disease. It then also attacks any cancer cells which dare to show. I’ll go through that once a week for four to six weeks. There’s a less than 1% chance that I’ll develop TB from it.

CT scans with contrast will follow after the BCG wash protocol to see what shows in my bladder. Cystoscopy if or as necessary to see what’s in there. Three-year follow up program of checking and washes.

First steps have been taken. While it’s all positive to date, it won’t be done for a while. Meanwhile, I’m energetic. In good spirits. Overweight — got to eat less and exercise more, but I can’t exercise properly for two more weeks — but optimistic.

Thanks for all the support. I’ll try to reciprocate to the best I can.

Cheers

15

A Gun & Zombie Dream

My wife and I and others were being chased by zombies. Fighting them off, we’d taken refuge in a large building. Seemed like some manner of old mansion, maybe. Don’t know.

During the fight, I’d managed to arm myself with two weapons. One was a large but old revolver. Basically, a six-shooter. The other was a modern 9mm handgun, black and cold.

I kept one in each hand as I met the new people, survivors like us. It was chaotic. I was edgy, tense, a little angry. People seemed to be doing stupid things, leaving doors and windows open. I kept going around, closing these things, looking for food, telling others to be careful.

They didn’t seem to be responding well to my comments. They weren’t angry or anything but seemingly oblivious. As I processed that, I concluded that I needed to establish a safe little place for me and my wife in that larger area, and went up some wooden stairs in such of such a place.

I kept my weapons with me. At one point, though, talking with another, I noticed that the revolver had some pink material. Opening the cylinder, I found that each round had the striking end covered in a bright pink wad of cloth, a safety thing I concluded, with some alarm. If I’d tried using that weapon, it probably wouldn’t have fired.

Meanwhile, I wondered, was the 9mm okay, or did it have something like that? But I’d seen the magazine and I thought I’d fired it once without problem, so I thought it was okay.

The dream ended with me trying to remove the pink wadding from the revolving.

0

Crime & Plumbing Dream

The dream found me at home – not my real-life place – with my wife. I awoke to discover that she had hired people to fix the plumbing. Thick, dark dust filled the air from the work. Three men were going all through the house, looking at the pipes and changing things.

I was floored that my wife had apparently decided to do that without consulting me. “First that I’ve heard about it,” I huffed before going off.

Coming back later, the men were in another part of the house. The three were all older, with short hair, white skin, and wore coveralls. Weirdly, usually they stayed clustering, staring at the pipes and talking about what they were going to do.

I came across my wife in another room. Wrench in hand, she was working herself on plumbing in a bathtub. I was like, “What the hell?”

I noticed that she was working on the faucet and spigots but she was on the side of the tub and had the floor torn up; but the tub still had its faucet and spigots attached on the end. I wondered, is she putting in new ones on the side to make it easier for her? Or putting in a new tub? I didn’t.

Going outside, I saw that she had people working in the garden and was building something new out there. That worried me. I knew that she had evidence of crimes committed buried there. (I was thinking that it was a murder but I didn’t seem sure.) I went back and told her that I didn’t think that was a smart decision but she was busy with the pipes and didn’t respond.

Returning outside, I saw a large rock being moved; I knew that was crucial evidence. With a sigh, I also saw that a police detective I’d seen earlier was watching and saw the rock. A little later, the police began digging up the area.

I thought, my wife is going to be going away, because her DNA is all over that. That disappointed and saddened me but I also thought, I should be okay because my DNA won’t be there.

Dream end

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