Catermand (catfinition) – to stop a feline from doing something by issuing an order.

In use: “When he issued the catermand, “Leave my food alone,” the cat stopped, gave him a look, and hunkered down to wait. As soon as he turned his back, the cat advanced on the sandwich and began nibbling. Smelling turkey and hearing the man shout, “Hey,” the cat freed a piece of turkey from between two slices and leaped off the table and into flight.”


7 thoughts on “Catermand

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  1. Sometimes a catermand must be backed up with the “WOO” (“wand of obedience,” a.k.a. spray bottle). Sometimes, even spritzing the cat until he’s soggy-furred won’t stop him, though, because he believes no biped has the right to catermand him.

    I have a catfinition-related question for you: What do you call it when a cat accidentally falls into the water-thing humans use for their business instead of a sandbox? (Asking for a friend…)

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    1. I believe that the cat is called a flushed feline, the water thing would be referred to as a catmode, and the incident would be characterized as funny (to the humans) and humiliating (for the cat). Is there video?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. There is no video, and Calliope is trying to pretend it never happened. She was TOLD not to attempt that leap from bathtub edge to sink counter, but no, she had to do it anyway… Refused to be catermanded and ended up soggy-furred. At least it was clean water.

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      2. Well, these fauxpaws happen. Calliope’s cattitude doesn’t surprise me. She’s probably acting all cool about it. I think that’s how they say to do it in the Floof Manual of Cool Cats.

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