Six Rules for Getting Along with Your Computer

Remember that you wanted your computer. It didn’t want you.
Shouting at your computer won’t make it do anything faster or better, but it might save you from insanity and keep you from taking more drastic action against your computer.
Shaking a computer until parts come off tends to be counter-productive.
A hammer to the computer might make you feel better, but the computer will probably complain.
A computer connected to the web can probably find more curse words than you can find on your own. Use that to your advantage when cursing your computer.
Remember that words have power. If you curse your computer, it might be taken seriously.