An elderly woman asked for my help at the coffee shop yesterday. She’s another coffee shop regular. I’ve seen her here for several years. By observing and eavesdropping, I knew where she lived, what she drove, her previous occupation, her standard order, and her name.
She’s named Sandy. As I helped her, she said, “I was an elementary school teacher.”
I replied, “What a coincidence! I used to go to elementary school.”
She laughed.
I’m thinking of Sandy today because I’m reflecting on Mom. Mom is 89; Sandy is 82. I’ve witnessed Mom’s decline over the past decade. I’ve seen Sandy declining over the past two years. She used to have no problem walking. Always a diminutive person, she seems smaller, thinner, and weaker, and struggles to stand, sit, and walk. Terrible to see.
It affects me because I’m also seeing such a decline happening in my wife. It’s surreal because I’ve had many more medical emergencies and don’t attend to my health as my wife does. I generally bounce back from whatever I endured. Yes, my bounce is not as high these days, and it takes more bounces to get back to close to what I was. My wife, though, is slowing and weakening. She often loses her balance. Her diet and activities are becoming so limited.
All of this reminds me of how impermanent things are. This is true of products, societies, our bodies, our existence. Ground Penetrating Radar finds forgotten settlements. We come across photographs of relatives we never knew about. Genetics and genealogy can fill in blanks about who your ancestors were but it’s typically in broad terms. Names, places, occupations, mostly.
It all finally roosts in me as a reminder to not take things for granted, whether it’s success, health, family, or your government. Nothing really lasts forever. Worse, the ending can come without much warning. As in so many other matters, it’s something which I learned before, and then forgot.
Very thought provoking, Michael! As living beings, we are determined in lifetime. This is our destiny. We are to enjoy life day by day. Every day is a new gift, and a new life! Best wishes! Michael
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Aging is a terrible thing to view. But as they say, it happens to all of us. Some “feel it” sooner than others … but it’s always there, sitting on our shoulder.
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I realized yesterday that even though a full day of shopping and such will wear me down, I still recover by the next morning. That gives me hope. Or something. =)
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Hi. Sorry for what you and your wife are going through. It hurts when those around us begin to decline. Ron watched it happen to me when I was young. Now as he turns 70 I am watching it happen to him. He has just been diagnosed with early stage dementia. He is terrified but I have promised him we will deal with it together. What I thought was simply getting forgetful turned out to be much worse. So now I spend more time with as much as I can, we do our major shopping together so it is easier for us both. Four hands are better than two, and two minds working together make up for the forgetfulness of both. I wish your wife the very best, and I am glad she has you by her side. Hugs
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Thank you. I wish the best for both of you. It’s a challenge, isn’t it? Hugs
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