Carl Said

Floofstory

Floofstory (floofinition) – 1. The study of past animal events, particularly in housepet affairs. 2. The complete series of events connected with a specific pet or animal.

In use: “The black cat’s floofstory was brief: he’d showed up at their house wounded and hungry, so they’d gotten him help. Meanwhile, nobody showed him as missing, so he came to be their pet though floofmentum.

Floofmentum

Floofmentum (floofinition) – The impetus gained by an animal, especially a housepet, particularly when addressing how the animal joined a household or won someone over.

In use: “The giant parrot had to have once belonged to someone, but it’d landed in the yard and then invited itself into the house, and then, through floofmentum, came to be Lily’s best friend and constant companion.”

Amber’s Gift

After exiting the Camaro, silence governed the quartet as they stretched, sniffed, and glanced. Laurel’s father had given the car to her as a high school graduation gift. Camaros had only been out for like, two years, and the little car looked sporty and fresh against the grayish morning.

The town had just completed a face lift of the old plaza. Clean and white cement walks outlined fresh carpets of new, cut grass. Busy, the plaza remained quiet with the stalwart momentum of citizens engaging daily routines. As far as air and sky went, powdery grays above snickered about a chance of drizzle while a streak of sunshine under a blue patch insisted that a sunny day could be possible.

Chatter about what to do ensued. Where should they start? Should they eat first? Toast and bacon smells surfing the fall breeze said, “Come, eat. Follow me.”

Gavin, looking right and stamping his feet against the feeling that they were going numb, saw a small sign on a stack beside a rhodie drooping with night’s damp. Aloud, he read, “Amber’s gift.” Such words created a mental puzzle. Gazing up the steps toward the dank chilliness where they went, his appetite grew.

Back to his friends, he said, “I want to eat first, but pre-first, I’m going to go see what Amber’s Gift is. It’s just take a minute.”

“Pre-first?” Shallie laughed.

“Amber’s gift.” Keri’s face beetled into a frown. “Okay, but don’t be long. I’m hungry. I want to go eat, and I need coffee.” She groaned. “God, do I need coffee. Do I smell coffee?” She lifted her nose into the air. “I do. That’s coffee. Where is that? Does anyone else smell coffee?”

As the others bantered with her about coffee, Gavin said, “I’ll be right back.” He went up the shallow steps fast, two at a time. Pockmarked by time and rain, the cement flight were probably decades old, but the sign, red hand-painted letters on cardboard on a wooden blonde stake, looked new. With that background set, he didn’t expect much. The walk would probably be a minute venture. He wanted to pack everything that he could into every minute. This would be his last weekend away. His draft number had been drawn and he was reporting to the recruiting station the next Monday. Hopefully, he wouldn’t be sent to Vietnam after basic. Crossing his fingers, he repeated to himself, “Hopefully.”

Shielded by giant firs, pines, sycamores, and oaks, the steps went up higher than Gavin expected. He went fast because he didn’t want to keep the others waiting. As he thought that he’d taken too much time and energy and his stomach rumbled with a request to be fed, he spotted a glow. It seemed like a faintly illuminated cloud of golden pollen dust. Past the glow, the park’s woods seemed darker and wetter than he’d think possible at nine plus in the morning. Quieter, too. Only sounds of his breathing and heart-beat reached him.

The glow seemed like it was concentrated in a dome. He didn’t see anything like a placard to explain this or confirmation that he’d reached Amber’s Gift. Pivoting to turn and leave, he saw something on the ground in the cloud’s middle. That looked like a bronze disc. It was that, he saw in another step, but also a polished, faceted piece of amber that was as large as his head. Eyes widening, he walked up to it and squatted, dropping his fingers to its surface with a gentle stroke. He expected it to be hard and cold, but soft warmth greeted his fingers. Smiling he stroked it again, counting, two, three, four, five.

That was enough, he thought, then was amused that he’d quantified and counted his strokes. Leaping up, he dashed back down the steps. The girls were waiting for him at the bottom beside Laurel’s Prius. The red car looked almost like a space ship.

“About time,” Laurel said as Keri said, “Here comes Christmas.”

“Where have you been?” Shallie asked, arms crossed. “We were about to give you up as dead.”

As he went to answer, Gavin’s arms caught his attention. His fake leather jacket was changing. After gaping at that, he gawked at his friends. Ridiculously wide bell bottoms accented their blue jean hip-huggers, but all that was changing into tight black and blue bottoms that outlined their thighs, knees, and calves. He was certain that it wasn’t what they’d been wearing before.

“Where were you?” Laurel demanded.

“I was.” Beginning to point, Gavin looked for the Amber’s Gift sign. A mossy look of confused thinking hung on his face. “Where’s the sign?

“What sign?” Shallie asked.

The girls laughed. Laurel said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Gavin.”

Keri gestured him forward. “Come on, dude. You need coffee.”

“Some coffee would be groovy,” Gavin replied, nodding.

“Groovy?” Laurel laughed. “What decade are you in?”

Remembering something for a moment, Gavin chuckled. “I don’t know.” As he and his friends went along the plaza’s old, worn walks, sunshine split the gray clouds and peeled them away from the day.

 

Saturday’s Theme Music

Today’s song is one of those turn-it-up loud touchback beats from waayyy back in 1990.

Fun facts from November 1990:

The U.S.S.R. was the United States’ great enemy and an evil empire, according to our former POTUS, Ronald Reagan. Our new guy, in his first year, was George H.W. Bush. The Berlin Wall had fallen the previous year. The U.S.S.R. would soon end.

A coalition led by the U.S. was building up for the Gulf War, amassing troops to attack Iraq and free Kuwait.

The Internet and web were just catching on as a force. AOL and Yahoo were big players in the U.S. Google hadn’t been started yet. Cell phones were just rolling out as the 2G network took shape. Taking selfies with your phone weren’t due for twenty more years. Facebook was still over a decade away, and Twitter was further out that than.

New England Patriots QB Tom Brady was thirteen years old.

Donald Trump was still with his first wife, Ivana.

Cool beans, right?

Here’s Jane’s Addiction with “Been Caught Stealing”. Crank it, baby.

Thursday’s Theme Music

I think today’s ancient rock song speaks to human history. Listen, and let me know if you agree. A sample verse:

Neon lights, a Nobel Prize
When a leader speaks, that leader dies
You won’t have to follow me
Only you can set you free

You gave me fortune
You gave me fame
You gave me power in your God’s name
I’m every person you need to be

Read more: Living Colour – Cult Of Personality Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Here’s Living Colour’s 1988 song, “Cult of Personality”.

 

Monday’s Theme Music

I was reading a news article about SoCal high school students – the boy’s water polo team – singing a NAZI song while saluting. That brought to mind the Santayana comments and quotes about history and the past and repeating it because the lessons aren’t learned. We see it as a trend around the world through decreases in environmental protections, compassion, and social injustice while nationalism, isolationism, and white supremacy movements increase. The social actions that took us to the development and use of the first atomic bomb is alive and thriving again. Meanwhile, the environmental protections developed to clean our air and water are being stripped away. It sucks.

Of course, flipping all those over to look at it from other angles. Corporations’ loyalty are usually with shareholders, increasing profits, and improving executive compensation – because they want the best. Many decry regulations because they stand in the way of profits or burden efforts with time and expense. Whole swaths of population struggle with changes and mourn for a different time, beguiled by rosy stories of how it use to be, or are hateful, selfish, and greedy people whose primary concern is for themselves.

Naturally, Steely Dan’s song, “Do It Again” (1972) arose to the occasion. Their song is about personal miscues and problems but the lesson remains the same as for a nation, society, or civilization: if you don’t learn, you’re going to do it again. As they sing in the song, “Wheel turning round and around.”

Then, I think, where do I sit on the spectrum of history, lamenting the swing back while listening to fifty-year-old music? Naturally, I must laugh at the aging fool on his computer…

 

Floofhenge

Floofhenge (floofinition) – Prehistoric monument visible only to those with quantum eyesight, floofhenge represents a period when animals ruled the Earth in harmony. The peace ended when humans were permitted to come to Earth from their world via an entrance at floofhenge. Many floofologists theorize that the animals brought humans here to save them because they were destroying their own world. Others say the humans slipped through as the animals paused at the open door to think about which way they wanted to go. (Some blame the cats.) A human artifice called Stonehenge was built in an attempt to create the same quantum doorway, but humans lack animals’ quantum knowledge, and the effort failed.

In use: “With the eagle flying overhead, and a wolf and lion on either side of her, a cat, dog, and fox led her between two trees into a glade where tall stones were lit like blue stars. The dog turned to her and said, “This is floofhenge.””

Flooftigraphy

Flooftigraphy (floofinition) – 1. Branch of floofology devoted to studying the layers of acquisitions of toys, foods, medicines, etc., to determine which were acquired during what floofnasty. 2. Study of the layers of pet food to identify the fur’s origins.

In use: “When her friend told her that she had white fur on her coat, surprise registered; employing her flooftigraphy training, she realized it had to be from StayPuft, the marshmallow white Spritz who passed away a decade before.”

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