Popuflooftion (floofinition) – all the housepets in a particular home, house, or apartment.
In use: “The ranch-style home included two adults and a popuflooftion of three cats, two dogs, and one each, bird, turtle, gecko, and hamster.”
Thanksgiving Theme Music
A little humor, a little Arlo Guthrie, a little Thanksgiving Thursday throwback theme tune. Pretty good alliteration, doncha’ think?
“Alice’s Restaurant” (1967).
No Use
Have you ever noticed that no matter how much you beg and plead for silence, once your stomach starts making noises, it’s just about impossible to get it to stop? You just have to wait for it to go back to sleep.
Not Reminding You Not to Overeat
I thought I’d post a reminder to myself not to overeat, and share it with you, telling you not to overeat, if you’re celebrating Thanksgiving this Thursday. But I hear people think that’s body-shaming, so I’m going to refrain.
I was reminding myself not to overeat because it’s not good for my general physical disposition. As I’m in my sixties and know my family history on Dad’s side, cardiovascular problems challenge the males. Overeating doesn’t help, especially when it’s food that I enjoy, like cheese and buttery mashed potatoes, washed down with wine, followed by pie with ice cream and whip cream. Dad is still alive and doing well at eighty-five, but I lost a cousin to a heart-attack when he was forty-three, an uncle has had several bypasses and stents (starting in his mid-thirties), and Grandpa died of a massive coronary when he was sixty-five.
But I don’t want to body-shame anyone, especially myself, so I’m not going to remind you or me not to overeat this Thanksgiving. Of course, the one accused of body-shaming, Sarah Michelle Gellar, added a throwback lingerie shot of herself with her reminder. I’m not going to post such a photo, because I don’t have any decent shots of myself in lingerie. Something goes horribly awry with the camera whenever I take one. I don’t know why. I guess it’s fate.
I will also not mention how I grimace with guilt and sadness when I think of our Thanksgiving traditions of over-indulgence in a world and country where so many are starving and suffering, or that we’re giving thanks for being safe when so many are displaced by war and natural disasters.
Whether you overeat or not, or celebrate Thanksgiving or not, I hope you’re not one of those suffering, and you have a wonderful day today and Thursday, and hell, let’s go for broke and wish you a great life. I also hope that you don’t suffer from being body-shamed, and that you realize that you’re more than your body.
This has not been a public service announcement.
Quadrafloofic
Quadrafloofic (floofinition) – of, or relating to, four housepets.
In use: “Life with his animals was often quadrafloofic as the three dogs and single cat — the ringleader, if you must know — surrounded him, regardless of his activity. This made using the toilet particularly challenging.”
Floofgiving
Floofgiving (floofinition) – an observance to show affectation and gratitude to housepet(s).
In use: “Every morning when he got up, again when he returned home, and again before going to bed, he showered his pets with kisses, and gave them treats, making everyday Floofgiving in his home.”
Henchfloof
Henchfloof (floofinition) – a trusted housepet; a member of a gang of housepets.
In use: “Snuffy the cat didn’t trust any dogs except his beloved friend, Max. Max, a big fluffy-white Samoyed-Spitz mix, was Snuffy’s henchfloof, protecting the feline against anyone entering their yard.”
Rebel, Rebel
As I was dressing today, I decided to wear brown shoes.
Like many people — not — my shoes choice drives my attire. As my grandmother used to say, “Start at the feet, and dress up.” (She didn’t.)
Season, weather, and plans drive my shoe choice. I’ve found that I’m uncomfortable in sandals in the fall and winter, usually because the day starts out nippy and doesn’t get warm. I’m not much of a sandal person anyway.
Which takes me to the brown shoes.
Once I decided to wear brown shoes, the pants and shirt were easy, since it was cool, forty degrees, sunny, with sixty-two degrees anticipated as the high. Since I was wearing brown shoes, I needed a brown belt, right?
Time out. Wait. Hang on.
Why did I need a brown belt?
Because that’s how I’ve been socialized, normalized, and conditioned. Brown shoes, brown belt. I heard it from Mom, wife, girlfriends, and others. It’s like, why? WTF difference does it make?
So guess what this rebel did?
If you guessed that I put on black shoes and a black belt, you’re wrong. I’m wearing a black belt with brown shoes.
Yeah, pretty far out, right?
I’m such a rebel.
Philofloofnia
Philofloofnia (floofinition) – friendship to animals, or welcoming to animals, most especially housepets.
In use: “The species didn’t matter, as he extended his philofloofnia to everything encountered, from birds to bears, leading to more than a few frightening encounters.”
Beer Etiquette
He found himself forced to explain beer etiquette to others.
“Beer etiquette,” others said. “Like, the proper way to drink beer?”
Which led, inevitably to statements, “I know how to drink beer. I have a PhD in beer drinking. I’m a natural.” These comments were regarded as hilarious.
No, that is not what he is talking about. He is talking about when you take beer to someone else’s home, or to a social gathering. When you take beer, a six-pack, for example, to someone’s house for a party, for example, you should always remove one beer.
“That would make it a five pack,” someone quickly and acutely noted.
Yes, he agreed, smiling, preparing to continue his explanation.
“Why would you do that?”
If you’ll give me a moment, I’ll explain.
“Okay, explain.”
Yes. Removing one bottle or can shows that you like this beer so much that you had to take one for yourself before you brought it. If you don’t take one, people will think that you don’t like that beer, and wonder why you’re bringing beer that you don’t like.
Cries of, “Bullshit,” and “Come on,” answered, but he was adamant that this was good beer etiquette. Always take one bottle out, whether it’s a six or twelve pack, or a case. If it’s a growler, you should remove twelve to sixteen ounces.
“Do you drink it?” someone said.
You can.
“What about wine?” a wag asked.
Another laughed. “Do you take six packs of wine to people’s houses?”
Another said, “Do they make six packs of wine?”
No, he said, gently, this etiquette is about beer.
Silent drinking pervaded the gathering. “Well,” the wag said, “Next time I go, I’ll just take an empty case and told them that it was too good to give away.” Then he laughed like it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard.
Michael Seidel, writer 