Cyber Monday

Others call it Cyber Monday, but I call it Writing Monday.

Writing Monday follows Writing Sunday. It’s the day before Writing Tuesday, and comes two days after Writing Saturday. Writing Friday precedes Writing Saturday, and falls after Writing Thursday, and two days after Writing Wednesday Eve.

Sometimes, to make it easier to say and follow, I call Writing Monday, Monday.

Likewise, every day is Coffee Day, but I call the days by their ISO 8601 standard week days, because the coffee is implied. Hell, in many cases, it’s expected. What’s a Monday without coffee?

As I have a full cuppa of hot java at hand, it’s time to edit and write like crazy, at least one more time.

Flooftake

Flooftake (floofinition) – housepets eating or drinking something that a human was planning to eat or drink.

In use: “He made a mistake, leaving his sandwich and chips on a plate on the table while he went into the other room for his book. Upon returning, he found the cat and dog had flooftaken the sandwich, and were working on the chips.”

Floofi

Floofi (floofinition) – plural of floof when more than one species is involved.

In use: “When he had two cats, they were floofs, but when he added a dog and a cockatoo, floofs became floofi.”

Floofclivity

Floofclivity (floofinition) – a housepet’s inclination or predisposition toward something.

In use: “The oldest cat, Max, had a massive floofclivity to eating from the man’s place. Though the man struggled for years to stop him, the cat’s will and determination won.”

Floofback

Floofback (floofinition) – a housepet who sleeps on their back; a housepet who sleeps on another housepet’s back; a housepet who sleeps on people’s backs.

In use: “A true floofback, Crystal loved hopping onto my back whenever I lay down on my stomach, curl up, and go to sleep.”

Floofbehaving

Floofbehaving (floofinition) – acting like an animal, regardless of what humans want an animal to do or the rules and restrictions people impose on their housepets.

In use: “She said, “He’s been misbehaving. He ate the Elf on the Shelf.” He replied, “You think it’s misbehaving, but it’s just floofbehaving. It’s just a dog being a dog.””

 

Lenfloofcular

Lenfloofcular (floofinition) – housepet who resembles a lentil when they’re sleeping.

In use: “At a casual glance, the cats’ lenfloofcular positions made it look like Jack had dropped big three beans onto the bed.”

Just Sayin’

Feeling mad as a hatter, Skip bought a brand spanking new car. To his friends, it was a bolt out of the blue.

Checking it out, Clyde said, “What’s the four-one-one, Skip?”

“Yes,” Penelope said. “What, d’yer win the booby prize? Give us the straight skinny.”

“It’s my new jalopy,” Skip said, at one fell swoop gaining jaundiced looks. “I bought it, cash on the nail. I could only afford it by the skin of my teeth.”

Milly said, “You’re such a crack pot. Did you have to cook the books?”

“To coin a phrase, I think it’s a blot on the landscape,” Parnell said. “It’s the mutts’ nuts.”

Nodding, Tucker said, “Right on. Did you forget to use your loaf, Skip?”

“What’s with the third degree?” Skip wondered as Hester said, “I don’t want to be a wet blanket, but gag me with a spoon.”

“Fer sure, you’re barking mad, Skip,” Ethel said as Horatio said, “You’re such an airhead, Skipper. You bought a pig in the poke.”

Beaming, Skip replied, “Well, I think it’s the cat’s pajamas. It’s really groovy.”

Tucker rose. “That’s all well and good, but I need to catch some zzzs. I’m gonna skate.” Looking at Skip, he said, “Drop a dime when you’ve come back to earth, space cadet.”

“Word,” Ethel agreed as Clyde said, “Peace out,” and Milly said, “Mic drop.”

Watching his friends troop away, Skip said, “Well, I didn’t mean to upset the apple cart.” Leaning back in front of his ride, he took a selfie. “I’ll share it on the Cloud, and Facebook it, the whole shebang. Then, when people Google me, they’ll see my wheels.”

But first, he texted it to himself, and then went to veg out, pleased as punch. It was a new day, and the sky was the limit.

 

Imflooftu

Imflooftu (floofinition) – to make a spontaneous decision to adopt an animal as a housepet.

In use: “He’d never considered himself a dog person, but the young beagle’s quiet, sad gaze initiated an imflooftu decision, and so his love affair with beagles began, with a quiet one named Single.”

Noifloof

Noifloof (floofinition) – something obnoxious or offensive to housepets; housepet activity that is offensive to people.

In use: “The garbage truck’s weekly roar was a noifloof interruption to the popuflooftion’s idyllic routines, sending the cats and dogs into anxious hiding.”

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