Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofgry (floofintion) – a hungry, drowsy look that housepets use when they’ve been asleep and are awakened by the sound of an opening container.
In use: “Hearing him open a new package of toilet paper, the small orange tabby raised his head and favored him with a floofgry look.”
Quadrafloof (floofinition) – surrounded by four housepets.
In use: “Quadrafloof was the normal situation when he and his wife settled down in the evening. The cats took the laps, the dog took an end, and the bird took a shoulder. Then, eating popcorn and watching a movie was the standard practice until the popcorn was gone, all were asleep, and the television went on with its broadcasting.”
Foot-floof (floofinition) – a housepet who likes to sit or lay on someone’s foot or feet as part of their expression of affection.
In use: “He didn’t know where and how they’d learn it but whenever he stopped, the dog sat on one foot and the cat sat on the other, rendering it impossible to ignore them. He believed that was the plan. They never got on his lap; they always were on a foot, originating their nickname, the foot-floofs.”
I smell a pipe and remember Dad.
Cigars remind me of my smoking fad.
Mother dear arises with sights of Salems and Kools.
Pall Malls and Marlboros put me in the office with chain-smoking fools.
But marijuana rolls me back in time
to my youth, when a hazy high was sublime.
Subfloofinal (floofinition) – a housepet’s ability to do something without people noticing.
In use: “Despite her awareness that the cats were fond of stealing food off her plate and had dibs on anything brought into the house, she put her plate on the table beside her and sat down to read. When she did, her Bombay Black employed subfloofinal tactics to steal several pieces and take them to the floor, where she and the other two cats happily devoured them.”
Misfloofievous (floofinition) – irresponsibly playful housepet; a housepet who’s playful in a naughty, teasing way.
In use: “Smart and misfloofievous, the black lab quickly understood the people’s patterns and habits. Being people of habit, they retired to the den to watch television in the evenings. As soon as one went that direction, she raced ahead, found the remote control, picked it up in her and began a game of keep-away. She was always pulling floofnanigans.”
Obfloofiate (floofinition) – to anticipate or prevent and eliminate a housepet’s plans.
In use: “Knowing that as soon as she left that a housepet would be on her food, she obfloofiated their intentions by putting her sandwich into the refrigerator
Floofal Vortex (floofinition) – a large mass of housepets sleeping or lounging together.
In use: “The large Great Dane sprawled across the sofa. Sleeping in winter sunshine under the window, he soon became part of a floofal vortex as the foster kittens and Corgis slumbered on top of or alongside him.”
Floofturn (floofinition) – a housepet quick turn in which the animal doubles back in one or two steps.
In use: “Pogo was heading for the pet door, but when Sandra opened the refrigerator, Pogo executed a floofturn and jogged to the kitchen.”
Mr Gander rolled into the noisy sports bar, grunting and waving at others while signalling for a PBR. As Gander’s ample weight found a stool, Tilly observed that Gander seemed down.
“The wife.” Gander pointed his eyes at the TV and sampled his beer’s head.
“What ’bout ‘er?”
“Nothin’. I have little complaints ’bout ‘er. They’re so small, you could say they’re shards of complaints.”
“You ever tell ‘er ’bout ’em? Maybe that’d help.”
“Naw, man. If I tell ‘er my complaints ’bout ‘er, she’ll tell me her complaints ’bout me.” Gander sipped his beer. “Who wants to hear that crap?”
