The TP Matter

We’ll discuss (almost) everything at Mom’s house (the off-limit topics are known by all even though they’ve never been discussed). So it was that we talked about toilet paper. Somehow I ended up telling Mom about the toilet paper caddy that hangs on the cistern’s side at my house so we always have another roll available.

“Doesn’t it get wet when you flush?” Mom asked.

“No.” I was puzzled.

She continued, “When you flush, water, particles, and germs go all over the place.”

“I know,” I answered. “Don’t you close the lid before you flush?”

“No,” she replied.

“Anyway,” I asked, “what’s that have to do with the toilet paper getting wet? With all that stuff flying around, I’d be more worried about what’s going into my mouth and nostrils or coating my skin.” I told her about an article I read about flushing toilets a few months ago and the plume effect. (I was researching, and one thing just led to another.) Those researchers concluded,

The particles primarily traveled upward and backward toward the wall behind the toilet, but some also moved chaotically in other directions. Once airborne, some particles traveled up to the ceiling, then spread out along the wall and into the room, the researchers noted.

“Eww.” Mom sat back. “When are you going home?”

I recognized a subject change when I heard one.