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Floof Shui (floofinition) – Traditional practice that animals use to arrange themselves for the best energy flow.
In use: “Parent animals quickly teach their offspring floof shui, noting, for example, that for many, the best sleeping position is to curl up in a tight ball with their head upside down.”
Timefloof (floofinition) – 1. An animal who is consistent about their activities.
In use: “Barb has little need for an alarm clock because her little black cat was a timefloof who woke her every morning at 5:55 AM with food demands.”
2. Ancient race of extraterrestrial animals who have command of time travel.
In use: “Pets sometimes disappear and reappear without people knowing where the animals were, because either the animal is a Timefloof, or they’ve been traveling with a Timefloof as their companion.”
Floofy Sapient (floofinition) – 1. A wise animal, or an animal who appears wise.
In use: “Many times think their pets seem seem floofy sapient in the way that their eyes drink in human behavior.”
2. A person who is knowledgeable about animal behavior, needs, treatment, or care.”
In use: “Often someone is called a ‘horse whisperer’ or ‘dog whisperer’, when they’re really floofy sapient from being caring and patient with animals.”
Subfloof (floofinition) – 1. A physical object underneath an animal.
In use: “They knew the remote was subfloof again because the dog started moving around in her sleep and the channels began changing.”
2. Food or behavior that’s considered beneath an animal’s dignity.
In use: “Trying to entice the cat back into the house, he opened a can of food and called the cat, who sat down, watching him, clearly deciding that falling for such tricks was subfloof.”
Flooflord (floofinition) – 1. A person with a lot of animals.
In use: “With five cats, three birds, two lizards, and four dogs, many of her neighbors considered Libby to be a flooflord.”
2. Animal who rules other animals and humans.
In use: “Despite a household with three large dogs and two mature cats (and four children and two adults), the new kitten was the flooflord without a week, manipulating others with cuteness, sweetness, and cussedness.”
3. (slang) Person who constantly posts or comments about animals on the net.
In use: “Bryan couldn’t help himself from being a flooflord because his two cats and one dog were just so dang cute and smart, he was constantly sharing pet stories and photos on the net.”
Fingerfloof (floofinition) – An animal obsessed with fingers.
In use: “He and the cat had shared a house for five years but it was only since the pandemic enforced staying at home that the cat had become a fingerfloof, seeking them while he slept in bed at night, read a book on a chair, or — the worst because it was the most intrusive — nuzzling his fingers when they rested on the mouse as he worked.”
Floofnag (floofinition) – An animal who can be annoying or irritating until they’re appeased.
In use: “Bevery tries organizing her day according to her priorities but it’s always subject to the floofnags — Pepper, a little Dachshund and his ally in mischief, a diluted calico named Dust — who demanded treats whenever she starts a Zoom meeting and has a consistent need to be in all rooms with her.”
Floofclave (floofinition) – A group of animals’ distinct territorial, cultural, or social unit established within another territory.
In use: “The dogs established a floofclave on the back patio while the cats decreed that the sunroom was their space, but Sugar, the new scamperbeast brazenly went wherever she desired, sleeping and playing among dogs and cats, regardless of floofclave.”
Floofbacle (floofinition) – A sudden and ignominious failure or fiasco involving animals.
In use: “People with new kittens and puppies often must adjust to coming home and discovering a floofbacle as the animals encounter and destroy things like house plants, pillows, and rolls of toilet paper.”
Floofbular (floofinition) – Floofdarin slang term, adopted from the eighties slang term, ‘tubular’, used among animals to express high regard or appreciation for something.
In use: “The cats thought getting tuna was fantastic. “Floofbular,” one told the other, which, to the unschooled in Floofdarin, sounded like a rising and falling trilling-mewing-purr.”
Michael Seidel, writer 