Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Quadrafloofic (floofinition) – of, or relating to, four housepets.
In use: “Life with his animals was often quadrafloofic as the three dogs and single cat — the ringleader, if you must know — surrounded him, regardless of his activity. This made using the toilet particularly challenging.”
Floofgiving (floofinition) – an observance to show affectation and gratitude to housepet(s).
In use: “Every morning when he got up, again when he returned home, and again before going to bed, he showered his pets with kisses, and gave them treats, making everyday Floofgiving in his home.”
Henchfloof (floofinition) – a trusted housepet; a member of a gang of housepets.
In use: “Snuffy the cat didn’t trust any dogs except his beloved friend, Max. Max, a big fluffy-white Samoyed-Spitz mix, was Snuffy’s henchfloof, protecting the feline against anyone entering their yard.”
As I was dressing today, I decided to wear brown shoes.
Like many people — not — my shoes choice drives my attire. As my grandmother used to say, “Start at the feet, and dress up.” (She didn’t.)
Season, weather, and plans drive my shoe choice. I’ve found that I’m uncomfortable in sandals in the fall and winter, usually because the day starts out nippy and doesn’t get warm. I’m not much of a sandal person anyway.
Which takes me to the brown shoes.
Once I decided to wear brown shoes, the pants and shirt were easy, since it was cool, forty degrees, sunny, with sixty-two degrees anticipated as the high. Since I was wearing brown shoes, I needed a brown belt, right?
Time out. Wait. Hang on.
Why did I need a brown belt?
Because that’s how I’ve been socialized, normalized, and conditioned. Brown shoes, brown belt. I heard it from Mom, wife, girlfriends, and others. It’s like, why? WTF difference does it make?
So guess what this rebel did?
If you guessed that I put on black shoes and a black belt, you’re wrong. I’m wearing a black belt with brown shoes.
Yeah, pretty far out, right?
I’m such a rebel.
Philofloofnia (floofinition) – friendship to animals, or welcoming to animals, most especially housepets.
In use: “The species didn’t matter, as he extended his philofloofnia to everything encountered, from birds to bears, leading to more than a few frightening encounters.”
He found himself forced to explain beer etiquette to others.
“Beer etiquette,” others said. “Like, the proper way to drink beer?”
Which led, inevitably to statements, “I know how to drink beer. I have a PhD in beer drinking. I’m a natural.” These comments were regarded as hilarious.
No, that is not what he is talking about. He is talking about when you take beer to someone else’s home, or to a social gathering. When you take beer, a six-pack, for example, to someone’s house for a party, for example, you should always remove one beer.
“That would make it a five pack,” someone quickly and acutely noted.
Yes, he agreed, smiling, preparing to continue his explanation.
“Why would you do that?”
If you’ll give me a moment, I’ll explain.
“Okay, explain.”
Yes. Removing one bottle or can shows that you like this beer so much that you had to take one for yourself before you brought it. If you don’t take one, people will think that you don’t like that beer, and wonder why you’re bringing beer that you don’t like.
Cries of, “Bullshit,” and “Come on,” answered, but he was adamant that this was good beer etiquette. Always take one bottle out, whether it’s a six or twelve pack, or a case. If it’s a growler, you should remove twelve to sixteen ounces.
“Do you drink it?” someone said.
You can.
“What about wine?” a wag asked.
Another laughed. “Do you take six packs of wine to people’s houses?”
Another said, “Do they make six packs of wine?”
No, he said, gently, this etiquette is about beer.
Silent drinking pervaded the gathering. “Well,” the wag said, “Next time I go, I’ll just take an empty case and told them that it was too good to give away.” Then he laughed like it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard.
Floofcenary (floofinition) – housepets who are obsequious and loving for sordid advantage; a greedy housepet
In use: “The floofcenary beasts loved on him when he was home, but as soon as his wife came home, they all clambered on her for treats, love, and attention.”
Floofpricorn (floofinition) – a housepet that resembles a goat in some combination of coloring, looks, attitude, or floofsonality.
In use: “The kitten’s name was O’Reilly after the site where he was found, but once he was out among the goats, they noticed how much his brown and white fur looked like the goat’s markings, and then the little floofpricorn started jumping around like the kids, sealing the belief that the cat was a goat born in a feline’s body.”
Floofmato (floofinition) – a painting technique for mimicking an area beyond what the human eye is focusing on to what housepets such as cats, dogs, and birds see.
In use: “Her ability to blur the lines between human and animal perceptions, as her floofmato technique demonstrated, brought many to think of her part animal herself.”
