A boldly honest statement, perhaps, but it was spotted on a twenty year old red Honda Civic. Perhaps they thought they were being ironic or satirical.
Monday’s Bumper Sticker
Floofeit
Floofeit (catfintion) – something given up because the cat or another household pet wants it.
In use: “He accepted that he would floofeit his office chair to the cat. Although he tried to race her in and claim the chair, she was quicker and smarter. Yes, he told himself, he was the human, and she was the pet. He could move her and claim the chair, but she looked so sweet.”
Floofcular
Floofcular (catfinition) – round sleeping position favored by many house pets.
In use: “The little black-pawed cat was often discovered in a floofcular in a living room or closet corner.”
Floofvalanche
Floofvalanche (catfinition) – a mass of furry house pets rapidly piling onto something or someone, frequently referenced as a catvalanche when it involves felines.
In use: “A kinder of kittens descended upon him, followed by Mama Cat, but it was the husky, trying to be part of the game, that turned the cuddle-puddle into a floofvalanche.”
Catmesticate
Catmesticate (catfintion) – a sustained, multi-generational attempt to keep felines as pets over which humans exercise control.
In use: “Scientists agree that dogs are domesticated, but after studying the history of cats and humans, concluded that they can’t agree that cats have become domesticated. The conclusion prompted catologists to create a new term, catmesticate, in an effort to define the roles and relationships between cats and humans.”
Amewsing
Amewsing (catfinition) – the activities that cat do which entertain humans; diverting or entertaining activities for cats.
In use: “The cat’s engagement with the squirrel outside the window seemed amewsing to the woman as well as the cat. The squirrel didn’t offer an opinion.”
Spelling Error
I took a cat quiz this morning and aced it. They said my result was meow-nificent.
That, I thought, is not how that’s spelled. It’s mewnificent.
A little research, though, revealed to me that mewguists say those are regional differences, and both are correct.
Floofdar
Floofdar (catfinition) – a cat or dog’s ability to detect another animal’s presence that evades human awareness.
In use: “Something apparently triggered Flash’s floofdar, for awakening and rising, she trotted to the window sill and peered out. Whatever she saw prompted her to issue a low warning growl. Nan, watching and listening, said, “How did you know something was there? You were dead asleep.” She got up to see what triggered her cat’s floofdar.”
Floofquake
Floofquake (catfinition) – shaking caused by a house pet’s activities.
In use: “Leaning against the sliding closet doors, the big black and white cat groomed with apoplectic energy, as though disgusted that his white ruff wasn’t the whitest of whites, causing a floofquake that rattled the closet doors.”
Backwards
Don’t you hate it when you put your underwear on backwards?
Thank God I discovered it when I used the coffee shop restroom.
Michael Seidel, writer 