Floofbicle (floofinition) – a small partitioned-off space pets use for sleeping and playing, sometimes called a box by the uninformed.
In use: “Although the floofbicle was too small for the bulldog, he ignored the limitations and tried sitting.”
Deflooftive
Deflooftive (floofinition) – 1. An investigator who specializes in solving crimes and mysteries involving pets. 2. A pet who is obligated to investigate all noises, movements, foods, and others.
In use: “Aided with a video camera mounted high on the wall, the deflooftive soon learned how the cat and dog were escaping.”
Floofpuccino
Floofpuccino (floofinition) – 1. A pet with coffee and cream fur. 2. A cappuccino with pet fur found in it.
In use: “Her eyes were bright blue but with her markings, the friendly little stray cat was a foamy floofpuccino.”
Ode to Floof
On the steps
Underfoot
On the bed
Sometimes aloof
On everyone’s laps
Stealing food
There’s no other floof
Quite like you
REF
REF (Alt. sp.: R.E.F.) (floofinition) – Really Enthusiastic Floof, sometimes also referenced as Really Energetic Floof, a designation given to social, playful, or overly active housepet.
In use: “Everyone called Reed small, but the hundred pound canine cavorted through the house like a kitten, thundering barks and slobbering love at all hours of the day — and sometimes, at night.”
Floofstrom
Floofstrom (floofinition) – Consuming energy projected by pet behavior and, or, activity.
In use: “The catnip was put down. The dogs watched with wary laziness as the cats meowed and gathered to get some ‘nip. Without warning, a floofstrom erupted as the cats each jealously seized their share and warned others off with snaps, swaps, hisses, and growls.”
Something Fundamental
His head was down against the silvery sunshine heat. Walking along, he looked up to orient his course and spotted Doctor Frank further up the white cement sidewalk.
He literally froze where he was. His heart beat – he felt it – but a shocked stupor held him stiff. Doctor Frank had died two months before. This had to be a doppelganger. He’d heard or read that everyone has an exact replica of themselves elsewhere on the world. This was the most perfect one he’d ever seen. The man was just like Doctor Frank, the biologist, in every aspect from his impish, good-natured expression, gray and white beard, and slender-as-a-broom frame to the outdoor pants, boots, and vest that were Doctor Frank’s regular attire, including the forest green bush hat.
He snapped out of it. The result put him up the sidewalk past where he’d spotted Doctor Frank, as if he’d never stopped. His head swooned. Pausing to regain control of his senses, he saw Q across the street, waiting to cross.
Now that was fucking impossible. Q’d died four years ago. Like Doctor Frank, doppelganger Q was an eerie ghost of his deceased friend. As he wondered what the what, he saw his mother-in-law, Jean, dead for the last two years, off to the left, with her husband, Carl, who’d been dead since 1992.
“Holy shit,” reverberated through his mind and came out his mouth. “What’s going on?”
In a blink, he realized all the color had deserted the world, as though he was watching a movie on an old black-and-white television. Closing his eyes to recover, he gasped; with his eyes closed, he could see everything taking place in color, except the dead folk that he saw weren’t there.
Slowly, he cracked his eyes open and took in the monochrome world. The sound differed from before. Swiveling his head, he saw more dead friends and relatives. It wasn’t his beloved hometown any longer, until he closed his eyes. With eyes closed, color was restored, and he was in the town where he’d been living and walking.
Keeping them closed, he resumed his walk. That seemed to work, but it was a temporary solution. Something fundamental had changed in his world.
He was going to have to open his eyes again sometime. And then…
He shook his head. He was going to keep his eyes closed until he was home. And then —
Well, he’d see.
Floofnectomy
Floofnectomy (floofintion) – the act or process of removing housepets from people’s lap or body, or disengaging from housepets.
In use: “He needed to get up and go to bed, but first he needed to do two floofnectomies to remove the cats and dogs napping with him on the sofa.”
Related: Felinectomy
Box Floof
Box Floof (floofinition) – A housepet who enjoy climbing into boxes to explore, often remaining them to nap and play.
In use: “Three cats, and yet the five boxes attracted none of them. There wasn’t a box floof among them.”
Michael Seidel, writer 