Flooftropolis

Flooftropolis (floofinition) – 1. Any city with a large animal population. 2. (slang) Expression used to denote any place with a large animal population.

In use: “All the neighborhood cats came around to hang out in Lori’s yard, which was funny, because she had a parrot and two dogs, but no cat. Neighbors began referring to it as flooftropolis.”

Floofabout

Floofabout (floofinition) – Unskilled housepet.

In use: “Mice, birds, and spiders were completely safe in Samantha’s house and yard, as her cats were floofabouts, inclined to loafing in the sunshine with sleepy eyes.”

Unknown

She stared at the letter. It was addressed to Mrs. She’d always been a Ms.

They used her first name, Barbara, but she’d her middle name, Sue, since she was three years old. (Funny story, there, but for another time.)

They did have the correct middle initial and last name, so it was fifty percent correct.

Shrugging, she tossed it unopened into the recycle. Whoever it was clearly didn’t know her.

Floofvious

Floofvious (floofintion) – 1. Easily perceived or understood by an animal. 2. Clear, self-evident, or apparent to an animal, especially a housepet.

In use: “When the couple opened a bag of chips to munch on while watching the movie, the cats and dog queued, expecting the floofvious.”

Floofpool

Floofpool (floofinition) – A vessel or tub, usually designed for holding water, waste, or laundry, that animals (typically housepets) employ as a bed.

In use: “She didn’t know that the cats were using her laundry basket as a floofpool until she tossed a pair of jeans in, and tremors went through the pile of clothes, followed by an irritated meow.”

Two Beefs

I know these are probably just me, but it’s a Monday and I feel the need to spleen.

Rant #1.

People are in line buying something, somewhere, and then wait until the cashier tells them the final before finding their wallet/billfold, money, whatev, to pay. Yes, I am an impatient person, but, really? Are you just doing that to annoy me? If I was a more paranoid person, say at the Donald J. Trump level, I’d suspect that there’s a secret society out there that are doing it just to frustrate me.

Rant #2.

Speaking of being impatient, I’m the second, third, fourth car in line, whatev, when we’re stopped at a red light. The signal changes to green but one of the preceding cars recognizes the light change so slowly, and then accelerates at a rate that would make molasses oozing out of a tree in winter look fast, that the light changes again before I can enter the intersection. Makes me want to shake my fist and shout, “Damn you.” Yeah, I know, it’s completely irrational, adding about ninety seconds to my commute. Hey, it’s a rant, you know?

What ’bout the rest of you? Any rants that you’d like to share? And don’t rant about the guy ranting on a blog post. I’ve read that one before.

Floofspiration

Floofspiration (floofinition) – The process of being mentally stimulated by an animal, especially a housepet, to do or feel something.

In use: She was down, but the dog walked up with this dopey look, with his leash hanging out of his mouth. Floofspiration seizing her, she laughed. “You’re right. It’s too nice a day to sit here feeling sorry for myself. Let’s go for a walk.”

Flooftrust

Flooftrust (floofinition) – An animal or housepet’s willingness to believe a person or another animal until after they’ve been betrayed.

In use: “Knowing that her dog’s flooftrust was fast dwindling, she offered him a treat, only to be greeted with a sullen, hurt look.”

n/t to Facebook/The Epoch Times for photo with caption.

 

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