Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Pawticuffs (catfinition) – a blow with a paw; combat with paws without extended claws.
In use: “Sometimes, when Pogo was irritated, pawticuffs would ensue, but the big ginger boy kept his claws retracted, an acknowledgement to them that the loving cat would never hurt them.”
The question before the household today is, “Is the spider in the master bath a black widow?”
My wife noticed it this morning, notified me, and left. She wasn’t sure if it was a black widow.
Our basic spider policy is live and let live. However, we usually relocate black widows, if they’re in the house. I know of one that lives on the front porch, and two in the garage. I’ve not seen any of them for a while. They might have gone away on vacation. I don’t know if spiders do that, or where they go if they do. Does Disney operate a place called Spider Land, where they have little spider rides and play games, like, catch the fly?
I tried checking the spider out. A big spider, it’s down by the floor in the corner, about a foot right of where my little toe on my right foot would be when I’m shaving. Its web didn’t quite look like a black widow’s web. It was now also day, and that area is pretty lit. I don’t think those are black widow conditions, but maybe this one was a trend setter.
The light wasn’t good, and there was an issue with getting too close. The issue was that I was nervous. I enjoy an active imagination and watching movies. The product of that formula is that I worry about a spider leaping out at me, like they sometimes do in movies. If it did, it would probably land on my check, something that I didn’t favor as an outcome.
So, I couldn’t see the spider well. Well, then, I’d capture and examine it, and go from there. I got some plastic ware from the kitchen and set out on my mission. Positioning myself, I gave myself a pep talk. Be fast and sure, because it was going to run. Once I had it in the plastic, I’d need to cover it with the lid. Okay, good plan.
In position, I shoved the plastic forward.
I’d overlooked one thing: the freaking little plastic piece was too big for the space.
Naturally, I’d broken the web, alerting the spider that something big was after it. It ran for cover, dashing into a space under the sink.
Nuts.
That all happened two hours ago. Since then, I decided, aha, I’ll take a picture of it, or video. But I just checked; the spider has not re-emerged.
I’m sure there’s another act to this minor drama, but first, there’s an intermission.
Floofdoggle (catfinition) – an impractical or wasteful activity or project involving one or more cats.
In use: “His penchant for floofdoggles included trying to train his cats to step on a mat that activated the food dispenser, and another one that would turn on a water bowl so the cats could have fresh food and water. Unfortunately, the leery felines chose to go around the mat to get to the food and water bowls, forcing him to devise other ways to satisfy their needs.”
Moo-floof (catfinition) – cat whose meow sounds like a cow bellowing, “Moo”; cat whose markings bring a cow to mind.
In use: “”Moo,” he heard, and looking back, saw a small white-chested tabby energetically pursuing him. “Moo,” the cat repeated, its mouth opened wide. “Moo.””
Connectcat (catfinition) – comprehensive map of a cat’s location in an area via the traces and objects left behind.
In use: “Fur on a chair, a toy mouse under the table, and bags of treats began creating the foundation of the connectcat, which developed a story about where the housecats liked to go and do.”
Kittenstompen (catfinition) (German) – the forceful application of paws to a human’s kidneys or other vulnerable anatomy.
In use: “He said, “Sometimes, in the early morning, a cat decides that I don’t need any more sleep, and then there’s what German-speaking housecats call kittenstompen, which is the forceful application of paws to a human’s kidneys or other vulnerable anatomy.””
h/t to Thomas Weaver, North of Andover
Infloofnia (catfinition) – inability to sleep because of the activity of one or more cats.
In use: “Although he was tired, infloofnia struck as the cats took turns scratching at the door to get in and out, a desire on their part that infuriated him because he knew they wouldn’t want to stay out in that bad weather. Yet, they needed to go out repeatedly, like the weather may have changed in the five minutes since they’d last come in.”
Quinn was all excited, accosting me as I stepped out of the shower. “I have a new song,” he said. “I’ve written the lyrics. Let me sing them to you.”
WAKE UP!
I wannawanna wannawanna
wannawanna
I wannawanna wannawanna
wannawanna
I wannawanna wannawanna
eat now eat now eat now!
“Then it repeats,” Quinn said. “I’ll get T.C. to do a screaming guitar bridge. I call it “Blue Cat @4AM”. It’s a new sound I’m exploring that I call speed floof.”
My cats have started a musical band. They called themselves T.C. and the Backyard Boys.
T.C. is Tucker Cat. Black and white, he plays lead guitar and shares lead vocals with Quinn the black paws. Quinn is the brooding genius who writes their material. Their favorite songs are “Catch the Mouse”, “Watch the Birds”, “What’s that Noise”, and “You Want to Fight”.
Quinn plays the rhythm guitar, too, while Boo is on drums and Papi is the orange cat on the keyboards who also plays bass. Papi and Boo provide backing vocals, too.
Boo – no photo available.
Playing only at night, they call their music floof rock. It sounds like caterwauling to me.
Catphorism (catfinition) – a feline adage.
In use: “‘First floofspressions can be misleading’ is a catphorism often applied to Persian and Himalaya cats because of their naturally severe looking floofspressions.”
h/t to mydangblog
