Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Remember, the first rule of Cat Club is, don’t step on, lay on, or sit on the cats.
The second rule of Cat Club is, keep the cats fed.
The third rule of Cat Club is, don’t sniff anything that you pick up from the floor. Just get rid of it and wash your hands.
Magna cum Floof (catfintion) – with great cat.
In use: “Moving into her new home was a procession. She was at the head, magna cum floof, with a giant orange Maine Coon resting in her arms.”
Editing Note: Had to do it because, you know, some people are confused by the word, cum. We can’t allow ignorance like that to continue to survive.
Catermand (catfinition) – to stop a feline from doing something by issuing an order.
In use: “When he issued the catermand, “Leave my food alone,” the cat stopped, gave him a look, and hunkered down to wait. As soon as he turned his back, the cat advanced on the sandwich and began nibbling. Smelling turkey and hearing the man shout, “Hey,” the cat freed a piece of turkey from between two slices and leaped off the table and into flight.”
Don’t you hate it when you click on a button or link on a webpage, and nothing happens, so you click, and click, and click, and then dozens of pages suddenly explode open?
You don’t? Well, la-di-da. Good for you.
I’ve noticed that as I’ve grown older, the span of years among my friends is much greater. I have several good friends who are older than my parents. That enlivens some conversations when I say, “Mom is getting older.”
I struggle with imagining having a friend who was twenty-five years older than me when I was, say, five, but if I wrote a novel about it, I’d probably call it, Her Oldest Friend.
Floofvine (catfinition) – of or related to a feline deity; supremely catlike.
In use: “With carefully created ears and a long, floofy tail that twitched back and forth, her orange and white Halloween costume was floofvine.”
Catceptible (catfinition) – being open to, or floofnipulated, by feline insistence, usually in play, petting, feeding, or napping activities; a feline open to being petted and visited without becoming agitated or striking out.
In use: “Asleep or awake, he was catceptible to whiskers on his face, a purr in his hear, or a paw’s light touch somewhere, and would move or speak to accommodate his furry friend.”
Floofsake (catfintion) – to do something for the good or betterment of a cat or cats.
In use: “For floofsake, he filled kibble and water bowls each morning and placed them on a shady area of the patio for the cats to visit throughout the day.”
Catductive Reasoning (catfinition) – trying to understand a feline’s logic for their actions. This is a daunting challenge for humans, as cats employ a quantum mind that allows them perceptions and movements that defy human comprehension.
In use: “Deductive reasoning would have allowed him to associate with action with another, but the cats did things for reasons he didn’t understand, leading him to believe he’d never comprehend the catductive reasoning behind their behavior.”
