Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
When you start chasing butterflies, stalking spiders, and trying to catch house flies, you may have been around cats too much, and might need to take a break from their presence.
This is also true if you get excited when you hear food being opened, or if you try to get into a room when someone else is in there and have closed the door.
Floofstead (catfinition) – a cat’s territory and its adjoining location; a place a cat claims by its presence.
In use: “The door was open, so in true floofstead fashion, the tiny diluted calico walked in, completed an inspection circuit, and then settled down for a nap on a chair, establishing that this was her place.”
“How do you set the alarm on a Fitbit?” he said.
She said, “Tell it that you’re going to replace it with an Apple watch.”
“What?”
“That’ll alarm it.”
We thought a black widow spider had started homesteading (websteading?) in the master bath. We go through these drills a few times per year. Per the household spider policy, I tried capturing it without clearly seeing it. The spider successfully retreated.
I haven’t seen it since that day. My guess is that it saw me naked and departed for somewhere else. After all, they’re more afraid of us than we are of them.
Floofcifer (catfinition) – a devilish cat.
In use: “Acting in true floofcifer behavior, the diabolical little ginger cat waited until the man turned his back to rush forward, swat the other cat on its rear, and then turn and race to hiding before anyone could react.”
I laughed when I saw this bumper sticker on a car today. I think you need to know the book, Deliverance, or the movie by the same name, to appreciate this. The book by James Dickey came out in 1970, when I was fourteen. I read it a couple years later and found it an enjoyable read.
Then the movie came out. I thought it was faithful to the book, and was impressed that the movie seemed as good as the movie.
Back when I was eleven, my future-self visited me to impart some advance. “Always confirm that toilet paper is available before you sit down and start your business. Sometimes others won’t be there to spare a square.”
Then he left. He’d arrived ten minutes late, of course, and left without providing the square so desperately desired.
As Alanis would sing, “Isn’t it ironic, don’t you think?”
Floofbernation (catfinition) – condition or state in which a cat sits motionless, with their eyes open, their paws and legs curled and tucked underneath them, and their tail wrapped along their body, to stay warm.
In use: “It was a weak sun, so the cat went into floofbernation on the sidewalk in the hope that strong sunshine would soon arrive.”
Catwich (catfinition) – inserted or stuck between two or more felines, often in a bed or restricted space, reducing its comfort.
In use: “Once again, he found himself pinned in bed, the human lunch meat in a catwich, with two floofs on either side acting as slices of bread to hold him in. It was like they planned these things.”
Floofgenue (catfinition) – a naive kitten or young cat. Floofgenues were often referred to as females in traditional catology, but it’s now considered acceptable to apply the term to male or female cats.”
In use: “The old tomcat recognized the white newcomer as a floofgenue, and took the other under his paw to teach him the proper way to be a cat.”
