You ever think, wouldn’t it be cool if they could chip our minds so that they can be found and recovered when we lose them?
Floofgesse
Floofgesse (catfinition) – abundance of spirit in a cat; a cat’s generosity and liberal giving.
In use: “The cat’s floofgesse led her to bring presents to his person every day. Gifts included leaves, flowers, towels from the neighbor’s clothes line, and found treasure such as rubber bands and pieces of string”
That Old Chestnut
Fun fact! Did you know that the expression, “That old chestnut,” originated with with Henry Chestnut? Henry was a pharmacist who liked telling comical tales about the way things were in his grandparents’ era, often exaggerating facts to absurd lengths. People in his town often passed on his stories, and the response on hearing them was often, “That old Chestnut,” usually with laughter. Eventually, Henry’s stories were published in a weekly column called, “That old Chestnut.”
The things you can learn on the Intertubes, right?
Drum Roll
Do you ever seem to wait literally forever (right, no hyperbole or exaggeration here) for something like pizza or an ATM delivering your cash, so you begin a drum roll, because it seems apropos?
No? Is it just me, then? Are you implying that I’m impatient?
Floof-eyes
Floof-eyes (catfinition) – Internet slang for a cat’s loving, enticing look, often accompanied with purring, and sometimes with kneading, or “making biscuits”.
In use: “She was on the edge of running late when her big Norwegian jumped onto the table in front of her and fixed his green floof-eyes on her. With a sigh, she began scratching his chin, accepting, she was going to be late. At least she had a good excuse, damn his floof-eyes.”
Catvuum
Catvuum (catfinition) – feline who eats fast and leaves the food bowl(s) empty.
In use: “She wasn’t a large tortoise shell, despite her reputation as a catvuum who would eat anything and everything.”
Ménage à floof
Ménage à floof (catfinition) – a domestic arrangement of two or more cats living in a loving and supportive relationship.
In use: “She’d always been a unifloofian because of Flash’s attitude, but Flash took to the two new fosters and a ménage à floof resulted.”
Floofalrous
Floofalrous (catfinition) – characteristic, of, or relating to floof behavior; marked by subtle grace, watchfulness, and a pleasing nature.
In use: “With floofalrous movement, the small ginger tabby walked in through the open front door, looked around the room, and found a chair where he made himself comfortable.”
The Plague
When it was almost one, I thought the thoughts would soon be done.
Then it was past two, and there were still a few.
When the clock showed three, I got up to pee.
Then, at four, I peed some more.
Seeing five, I fought to close my eyes.
Then it was six, and there was no fix.
When I saw seven, I mourned the dawn,
and realized at eight, I was going to be late.
I hit the road before nine with a tired head,
now it’s ten, and I want my bed.
At eleven, I stole a nap in my ride,
which did nothing for my back, neck, or side.
Dragging myself back in at twelve with sunken eyes,
I sucked down coffee just to feel alive.
At one, I splashed my face.
At two, I realized I had three more hours of this place.
Striking three, the coffee made me pee.
But at four, I drank some more.
Then it was finally five, and I’d somehow survived.
Home at six, I got ready for a party mix.
Seven found me with my friends, ready to go.
When it was eight, we got some food on a plate.
Then at nine, we paid the dime.
Ten found me at a club, having fun.
By two, I was heading home, tired and happy, but wishing it was one.
At three, I laid down in bed,
and then the thoughts returned,
plaguing my head.
Michael Seidel, writer 