Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofography (catfinition) – An account of a pet’s life, often a cat, written or produced by another (usually a human).
In use: “A floofography about the famous floof star, Mew Collins, was released last week. Mew Collins, a domestic shorthair rocker , had several songs that charted well during his career, including “You’re In the Bathroom (And I Need to Get In)”, “Ashley”, “Catnip”, and that cat anthem, “Touch My Tummy (If You Dare)”.”
Timbukmew (catfinition) – legendary lost city in central Africa, said to be where the first house cats appeared and began their rule.
In use: “Although many insist that Timbukmew was a city built by humans, some mewthologists now suggest that cats are from another planet, and Timbukmew was their initial landing zone. This theory — or mewth — goes on to suggest that the felines began purring, drawing humans to the site and enslaving them.”
Mewthology (catfinition) – an allegorical narrative focused on the origins of house cats and their influence over humanity and the Earth.
In use: “While studying Egyptian mewthology, one is struck by how quickly cats seemed to have risen in stature in society. Some mewthologists believe this points to a period when cats purred more powerfully, enabling the felines to establish a telepathic connection with humans, which let the cats control the humans.”
Whiskercise (catfinition) – an exercise program popular among house pets, especially cats, made popular by Miz Jane, a calico cat, in the 1980s. Whiskercise focuses on leisurely stretching when standing up, long naps, and sudden but short bursts of activity.
In use: “Devotees of whiskercise like to spring up and dash forward for several feet before stretching and settling down for a new nap. According to the whiskercise protocol, this enhances the cat’s natural beauty and increases longevity. Some whiskercise proponents have claimed to live more than nine lives, with one, a one hundred twenty-one year old tortie, claiming to have lived twelves lives.”
Floofherent (catfinition) – cat logic (also sometimes applied to dogs).
In use: “By the pet’s floofherent process, it made complete sense that when food was put on the table, some of it belonged to her as well as the people. After all, wasn’t she a part of the family?”
Floofious (catfinition) – an abundant quantity of furry animals, usually cats.
In use: “The floofious kitchen at the Cat House on the Kings features cats of all sizes, weights, and colors as part of being a no-kill sanctuary for cats.”
Floofcyon (catfinition) – a calm period for cats and other furry creatures.
In use: “The disaster created a floofcyon of togetherness as cats and dogs made room for one another to fit as many as possible into the vehicle, and thus, save them all.”
I botchecked myself (another noun becoming a verb). Verification was returned that I’m a bot.
The results trouble me, of course. If I’m a bot, why have they made me so human? (And who is they who made me?) I don’t need to struggle with weight and mood swings to convince others that I’m human, do I? I know many humans without weight issues and mood swings who seem quite human to me.
Maybe they’re not human.
Also, if they made me a human-like bot, why did they push me to want to be a writer? Was this by original design specifications, or has something gone awry with my wiring? It sure feels like my wiring might be off, with the plethora of crazy dreams I experience and all the muse bullshit that I endure.
After running this information through my systems a few more times, I settled on several questions as more important than the others.
You’d think that, as a bot, I’d be able to find this information without great difficulty. You’d think that, and you’d be wrong. For some reason, my maker is keeping me in the dark about these things.
Aflooflitionist (catfinition) – someone who campaigns for equal rights for and respectful treatment of cats, dogs, and other animals.
In use: “As an affirmed aflooflitionist, he stood against the Trump administration’s proposed changes to the Endangered Species Act.”
