Furtankerous (catfinition) – the irritation felt when cleaning up fur or clumps of fur.
In use: “As she bent to pick up yet another small clump of fur, her furtankerous mood burst into anger.”
Afloofium
Afloofium (catfinition) – fur, leaves, grass, mulch, and other similar material deposited by cats and other house pets going in and out of the house.
In use: “He’d run the robot sweeper first thing in the morning, but an hour later, a fresh layer of afloofium marked the felines’ comings and goings.”
Inflooftigate
Inflooftigate (catfinition) – the systematic and wary progressive process a cat or dog uses to explore or examine something.
In use: “Seeing the toy mouse on the floor, the cat began to inflooftigate. First, he stopped and stared. When the toy didn’t move or make a sound, he approached it a few steps. Stopping short, he leaned forward and avidly sniffed it. When it still didn’t register as something he knew or as a threat, he tapped it with a paw. That’s when the remote control was used to turn the mouse on. As the toy lit up and squeaked, the cat ended his inflooftigation by springing back in alarm.”
Floofcon (2)
Floofcon (2) (catfinition) – a cat’s alert and warning system, demonstrated by its body language and posture, whiskers, tail, and eyes. Floofcons range from Floofcon 5 (normal state) to Floofcon 1 (the highest state of alert and readiness. Wider eyes generally indicate a higher Floofcon, with a bushy tail indicating that at least Floofcon 2 has been ordered.
In use: “A young cat who’d lived on the streets, his default Floofcon was four. Like the old Strategic Air Command (SAC), this cat was always on some state of higher alert, and often went from Floofcon 4 to Floofcon 2 in seconds, driven to a Floofcon change by a sudden loud noise or, more reliably, the appearance of another cat.”
See Floofcon for other uses of the word.
Floofography
Floofography (catfinition) – An account of a pet’s life, often a cat, written or produced by another (usually a human).
In use: “A floofography about the famous floof star, Mew Collins, was released last week. Mew Collins, a domestic shorthair rocker , had several songs that charted well during his career, including “You’re In the Bathroom (And I Need to Get In)”, “Ashley”, “Catnip”, and that cat anthem, “Touch My Tummy (If You Dare)”.”
Timbukmew
Timbukmew (catfinition) – legendary lost city in central Africa, said to be where the first house cats appeared and began their rule.
In use: “Although many insist that Timbukmew was a city built by humans, some mewthologists now suggest that cats are from another planet, and Timbukmew was their initial landing zone. This theory — or mewth — goes on to suggest that the felines began purring, drawing humans to the site and enslaving them.”
Mewthology
Mewthology (catfinition) – an allegorical narrative focused on the origins of house cats and their influence over humanity and the Earth.
In use: “While studying Egyptian mewthology, one is struck by how quickly cats seemed to have risen in stature in society. Some mewthologists believe this points to a period when cats purred more powerfully, enabling the felines to establish a telepathic connection with humans, which let the cats control the humans.”
Whiskercise
Whiskercise (catfinition) – an exercise program popular among house pets, especially cats, made popular by Miz Jane, a calico cat, in the 1980s. Whiskercise focuses on leisurely stretching when standing up, long naps, and sudden but short bursts of activity.
In use: “Devotees of whiskercise like to spring up and dash forward for several feet before stretching and settling down for a new nap. According to the whiskercise protocol, this enhances the cat’s natural beauty and increases longevity. Some whiskercise proponents have claimed to live more than nine lives, with one, a one hundred twenty-one year old tortie, claiming to have lived twelves lives.”
Floofherent
Floofherent (catfinition) – cat logic (also sometimes applied to dogs).
In use: “By the pet’s floofherent process, it made complete sense that when food was put on the table, some of it belonged to her as well as the people. After all, wasn’t she a part of the family?”
Floofious
Floofious (catfinition) – an abundant quantity of furry animals, usually cats.
In use: “The floofious kitchen at the Cat House on the Kings features cats of all sizes, weights, and colors as part of being a no-kill sanctuary for cats.”
Michael Seidel, writer 