Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofstrom (floofinition) – Consuming energy projected by pet behavior and, or, activity.
In use: “The catnip was put down. The dogs watched with wary laziness as the cats meowed and gathered to get some ‘nip. Without warning, a floofstrom erupted as the cats each jealously seized their share and warned others off with snaps, swaps, hisses, and growls.”
His head was down against the silvery sunshine heat. Walking along, he looked up to orient his course and spotted Doctor Frank further up the white cement sidewalk.
He literally froze where he was. His heart beat – he felt it – but a shocked stupor held him stiff. Doctor Frank had died two months before. This had to be a doppelganger. He’d heard or read that everyone has an exact replica of themselves elsewhere on the world. This was the most perfect one he’d ever seen. The man was just like Doctor Frank, the biologist, in every aspect from his impish, good-natured expression, gray and white beard, and slender-as-a-broom frame to the outdoor pants, boots, and vest that were Doctor Frank’s regular attire, including the forest green bush hat.
He snapped out of it. The result put him up the sidewalk past where he’d spotted Doctor Frank, as if he’d never stopped. His head swooned. Pausing to regain control of his senses, he saw Q across the street, waiting to cross.
Now that was fucking impossible. Q’d died four years ago. Like Doctor Frank, doppelganger Q was an eerie ghost of his deceased friend. As he wondered what the what, he saw his mother-in-law, Jean, dead for the last two years, off to the left, with her husband, Carl, who’d been dead since 1992.
“Holy shit,” reverberated through his mind and came out his mouth. “What’s going on?”
In a blink, he realized all the color had deserted the world, as though he was watching a movie on an old black-and-white television. Closing his eyes to recover, he gasped; with his eyes closed, he could see everything taking place in color, except the dead folk that he saw weren’t there.
Slowly, he cracked his eyes open and took in the monochrome world. The sound differed from before. Swiveling his head, he saw more dead friends and relatives. It wasn’t his beloved hometown any longer, until he closed his eyes. With eyes closed, color was restored, and he was in the town where he’d been living and walking.
Keeping them closed, he resumed his walk. That seemed to work, but it was a temporary solution. Something fundamental had changed in his world.
He was going to have to open his eyes again sometime. And then…
He shook his head. He was going to keep his eyes closed until he was home. And then —
Well, he’d see.
Floofnectomy (floofintion) – the act or process of removing housepets from people’s lap or body, or disengaging from housepets.
In use: “He needed to get up and go to bed, but first he needed to do two floofnectomies to remove the cats and dogs napping with him on the sofa.”
Related: Felinectomy
Box Floof (floofinition) – A housepet who enjoy climbing into boxes to explore, often remaining them to nap and play.
In use: “Three cats, and yet the five boxes attracted none of them. There wasn’t a box floof among them.”
Misfloofcreant (floofinition) – A housepet who behaves badly or outside of the accepted boundaries.
In use: “Knowing that she’d misbehaved, the furry misfloofcreant sat down and regarded her people with soulful eyes. She knew that the eyes always let her off the hook. They couldn’t resist her eyes.”
What I’m gonna do and who I’m gonna be
keeps slipping away from me like sand between my
toes
Love is a stunted realty, sex is a wistful fantasy
Train wrecks in prolonged slow-
mo
Days whiz by like pee in the night
Time sits by at one side, mocking and laughing at me and my plight
I have no idea how anything
goes
Birds still sing, the sun rises and sets
I could tell you more
but you know the
story changes, rearranges every day and
night
I think I know what I’m gonna do
like everyday before,
got my coffee, I’m in my seat,
I think I’m gonna
write
Floofmonym (floofinition) – Words that incorporate terms for animals, such as catalog or dogma, or the sounds that they make.
In use: “The word “homeowner” is a floofmonym with “meow” in it.”
h/t to Barbara Froman.
I don’t mind sweating, but I’ll tell you, I intensely dislike it when the sweat makes my boxer shorts stick to my butt cheeks. Makes me want to swear off undies, but then I’d just end up with my shorts stuck to my butt. The only option seems to be to avoid sweating, unless someone makes undies that repel sweat…
Woof.
Floofverse (floofinition) – 1. Poetry about animals, especially housepets. 2. A housepet with a base that’s narrower than their top. 3. A pet that has the opposite personality or exhibits the opposite behavior from another.
In use: “The cat and dog came from different places but arrived at the same time. Firecracker, the cat, was all white, social, and energetic, while Drury, the black puppy, was Firecracker’s floofverse in all ways: quiet, shy, gentle, and retiring. Despite this, the two animals loved being together.”
