Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Proflooftism (floofinition) – An attitude toward animals dominated by desires and efforts to improve animals’ circumstances and improve conditions for animals even if such activities diminish human’s control over animals or challenges cultural traditions.
In use: “With the advent and rise of proflooftism, nations are being urged to eliminate sport or trophy hunting, and cruel sports such as bullfighting and cockfighting.”
He thought, it must be a sign of maturity when you use scissors or a knife to open a bag of chips or cookies, instead of just biting it open with your teeth.
He eavesdrops on others. He always does, the rogue. This time, he’s listening to three attractive women as they meet and discuss their lives. Their shifting topics could have been lifted from his own existence. He has to restrain himself from chiming in when they try to remember the name of a television show or when they struggle over recalling the name of Amor Towles’s latest novel or Jerry Seinfeld’s writing partner. He’d love to plunge into their brief discussion about The Mists of Avalon as one tries to tell the others about the novel.
But he doesn’t know them, and they don’t know him. They might think it’s rude.
“Away,” the floof cried with a flashing leap,
Traveling faster than their paws.
Their antics amaze us, they are so stupendous,
We literally drop our jaws.
They dash into the room and look around,
Then they’re off again with a single bound.
A super floof in their own eyes,
Super cat, super duper dog, they try to prove they can fly.
And when they wear out all their speed,
They bring their empty tummies to us to fill their needs.
A small floof,
Who liked to goof,
Was such a funny one.
She liked her people’s bed,
And being scratched on the head,
But really loved the sun.
Kibble was tasty.
And she never ate hasty,
Nor was other food shunned.
Then it was off to sleep,
Another day to keep,
And dreams about all that she’d done.
Flooping (floofinition) – To follow an animal or to repeatedly circle back to an animal to check on its health or to play with it.
In use: “He was supposed to leae for work at 7, but his dog was sick, so he called in sick, staying home and flooping back throughout the morning to his pet to see how she was doing.”
It’s an old joke, heard every year at this time. People leaving and going in different directions tell each other as if it’s brand new, “Well, I’ll see you next year.”
Everyone laughs like it’s never been heard before.
Govfloofnor (floofinition) – Animal who exercises authority over a group or area.
In use: “Tucker is the Household Govfloofnor or HG, and as such, must be present to enter any room first when a door, package, bottle, or window is open, to issue his approval that it’s okay for others.”
The little cat, who isn’t little any longer, but is younger than the household’s alpha floof, is called Papi. He’s a ginger character, sweet but quick to put up his claws. He enjoys spiriting out to guard the yard every night. I say night, but he likes going out about 3 AM. Technically it’s still dark morning in my realm. The thing is, he returns every morning at exactly 6:37 AM, rapping on the door to get back in. His punctuality is admirable, but it makes me wonder, is the cat going off to a duty or paid position somewhere, finishing his shift at 6:30 and then returning home?
It seems reasonable…doesn’t it?
Michael Seidel, writer 