Tag: humor

Wednesday’s Wandering Thought

It was mid-afternoon. He was walking fast down a steep street. Cars were parked on either side of the narrow street so when a car came up in the other way, he stepped aside to wait for them to pass.

The car slowed to a crawl.

He wondered if they were turning into a driveway and looked down to see what was happening.

The silver Honda pulled up beside him. A woman he didn’t know stared at him for a second and then powered down the window, laughing as she did. When the window was partly down, she said, “I’m sorry. I thought you were a bear.” Laughing again, he put her window up and went on.

He gazed up the street as the car climbed the hill, wondering, did she say bear?

0

Floofshadowing

Floofshadowing (floofinition) – Action, sound, or activity which indicates something to come.

In use: “The sounds coming from the bed’s foot was floofshadowing that a floof — probably the dog — was vomiting.”

4

Floof-à-floof

Floof-à-floof (floofinition) From Floofish, literally one animal facing another.

In use: “Although the cats had ‘shared’ a home for literally seven years, every morning began with a floof-à-floof moment when they squared off in the hallway and yowled their darkest threats at one another as though facing the greatest threat ever.”

4

Many Dreams

I’ve been under a barrage of dreams the last two nights. All of them have been as fleeting as me meteors on a summer night. One impression remains bold from one dream: I learned that Frank Sinatra was my father.

Bet that’ll be a surprise to Mom.

5

Demofloof

Demofloof (floofinition) – 1. An animal who shows or explains how things are done to other animals.

In use: “Parents, especially mothers, are often the demofloofs that young animals depend upon, but when the young are orphaned, other animals must take up the mantle of demofloof and show them how to be proper animals.”

2. An adherent of the premise of rule by animals.

In use: “Animals who witnessed and understood the butchery humans were inflicting on Earth were beginning the demofloof movement, advocating that animals should work together to reduce and limit human influence and take over.”

0

Wednesday’s Wandering Thought

His wife, as she sometimes does, came in and said, “Just making sure you’re alive,” and then left for the gym.

It’s something she’s been doing for a few years. But he’d recently stayed with his mother, who twice told him that she was going to send someone down to his room to see if he was alive when he visited her.

Just what kind of vibe was he giving off to others that they wondered if he was still alive?

1

Tuesday’s Wandering Thought

Everyone was worried about putting their trash cans out by the curb the night before pickup because of bears.

But most people’s trash cans are stored by the side of their house. Some are behind wooden fences, no doubt a robust protection against a bear (yeah, that’s snark). A bear can get these cans just as easily there as on the street, waiting for the trash collector. If they’re really concerned about bears getting into trash cans, they need to do a lot more than delay putting them out until the morning.

0

Floofbucks

Floofbucks (floofinition) – 1. Money set aside to pay for things such as provisions, food, care, and toys planned for animals.

In use: “During an economy when inflation threatens spending plans and savings, many people become more mindful of their floofbucks because they need to keep their fur buddies healthy, fed, and happy.”

2. Black-market currency used by animals to buy favors and information from other animals.

In use: “Stray cats and dogs often scrounge for floofbucks by trading whatever they find to other animals, then using the floofbucks to buy information about houses where humans are known to be easy touches for animals.”

0

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑