Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
SEGP (pronounced seagep) (floofinition) – Flooflosophy followed by many housepets, SEGP is sleep, eat, groom, play. Floof SEGP adherents, often called seageptians, believe following the flooflosophy helps them achieve a longer, more satisfying life.
In use: ‘When the young cat met the household’s established bird resident, the latter told the cat, “We follow SEGP in this house.” The cat replied, “I’m not familiar with that.” The bird answered, “See the dog. He’ll teach you.”‘
A long time known
Watching them grow
Kisses and hisses, barks and growls
Friendship and watchfulness
Without churches, witnesses or vows
They’re there for you and you for them
Fur people fur minders fur irritants
Fur friends
Furocious (floofinition) – An animal who acts or appears intimidating but is very friendly and gets along with everyone.
In use: “The dog looked like something out of Game of Thrones, huge, black, wolfish, with sharp golden eyes, but loved people and animals, especially young and sick animals, eagerly taking care of and watching over them.”
Honeyfloof – (floofinition) – An especially sweet animal.
In use: “Depite a pugilistic nom de floof, Rocky was a honeyfloof, always making friends, no matter what critter he meant. Except flies. They were his one weakness.”
Floofking (floofinition) – 1. The ruling animal of a household, group, etc.
In use: “Everyone assumes the floofking must be male because of the human definition of king, but per the flooftionary, a floofking is the dominant animal regardless of gender, size, or species. Humans tend to think themselves as the floofking of their domain, as do cats.”
2. A human who is able to manage and influence animals.
In use: “Marjorie was the neighborhood’s unquestioned floofking — a cat – dog – bear whisperer, according to stories — interacting with everything, especially crows, who happily joined her whenever she left the house.
3. To play like an animal or engage in play with an animal.
In use: “Soon after arriving home, Lucy showed up at Bob’s feet with her favorite toy, ready for a period of floofking.”
Floof Chef (floofinition) 1. Individual responsible for preparing animal’s meals.
In use: The house floofs knew that he was the floof chef, so they never bothered his wife or anyone else, but as soon as he arrived him, the floofs gathered and pressed him into duty.”
2. Animal who supervises or monitors all food preparation activities.
In use: “As soon as they went in to begin making dinner — a time which was hardwired into the floof’s psyche — the floof joined them to complete his duty as a floof chef.”
Michael Seidel, writer 