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Infloofdescent (floofinition) – Growing in the number of floofs.
In use: “It began innocently, let’s get a dog, but then their daughter wanted a cat, a turtle was requested by their son, and a pregnant cat showed up begging for food, and that was it, the infloofdescent was on.”
Unbefloofed (floofinition) – To be without an animal or animals, especially farm animals or housepets.
In use: “His dog passed a week after the cat, both startling, sudden events, and he found himself unbefloofed for the first time since he’d become an adult, opening the door for a crow to come into his life.”
Floofflee (floofinition) – When one or more animals run, fly, or swim away at great speed from a real or perceived threat.
In use: “Michelin was a large dog with a muzzle greyed with time, but he could floofflee with the best whenever booms broke the air, no matter their source.”
Floof Fog (floofinition) – Human mental condition when worries or activities involving an animal prevents them from thinking of, doing, or recalling other matters.
In use: “She had a list of things to do but succumbed to floof fog when she sat down to read a book and the cat jumped up and joined her. Floof fog set in and the two were soon snuggling and asleep.”
Contrafloof (floofintion) – Actions, behavior, or sounds by an animal that are counter to expectations and confuse others.
In use: “With the door open to the outside and plentiful sunshine and warm air, the house rulers contrafloofed their human beans by selecting to nap in the house.”
FISS – (floofinition) – Floof Impaired Sleep Syndrome; condition where rest is disrupted by animals. Usually associated with housepets.
In use: “Between Tucker hunting down Michael’s hand for some nocturnal loving and Papi’s demands to go out and back (times four), Michael sometimes suffers FISS and needs a cuppa coffee just to start feeling human in the AM.”
SEGP (pronounced seagep) (floofinition) – Flooflosophy followed by many housepets, SEGP is sleep, eat, groom, play. Floof SEGP adherents, often called seageptians, believe following the flooflosophy helps them achieve a longer, more satisfying life.
In use: ‘When the young cat met the household’s established bird resident, the latter told the cat, “We follow SEGP in this house.” The cat replied, “I’m not familiar with that.” The bird answered, “See the dog. He’ll teach you.”‘
Michael Seidel, writer 