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Floof Fog (floofinition) – Human mental condition when worries or activities involving an animal prevents them from thinking of, doing, or recalling other matters.
In use: “She had a list of things to do but succumbed to floof fog when she sat down to read a book and the cat jumped up and joined her. Floof fog set in and the two were soon snuggling and asleep.”
Contrafloof (floofintion) – Actions, behavior, or sounds by an animal that are counter to expectations and confuse others.
In use: “With the door open to the outside and plentiful sunshine and warm air, the house rulers contrafloofed their human beans by selecting to nap in the house.”
FISS – (floofinition) – Floof Impaired Sleep Syndrome; condition where rest is disrupted by animals. Usually associated with housepets.
In use: “Between Tucker hunting down Michael’s hand for some nocturnal loving and Papi’s demands to go out and back (times four), Michael sometimes suffers FISS and needs a cuppa coffee just to start feeling human in the AM.”
SEGP (pronounced seagep) (floofinition) – Flooflosophy followed by many housepets, SEGP is sleep, eat, groom, play. Floof SEGP adherents, often called seageptians, believe following the flooflosophy helps them achieve a longer, more satisfying life.
In use: ‘When the young cat met the household’s established bird resident, the latter told the cat, “We follow SEGP in this house.” The cat replied, “I’m not familiar with that.” The bird answered, “See the dog. He’ll teach you.”‘
Furocious (floofinition) – An animal who acts or appears intimidating but is very friendly and gets along with everyone.
In use: “The dog looked like something out of Game of Thrones, huge, black, wolfish, with sharp golden eyes, but loved people and animals, especially young and sick animals, eagerly taking care of and watching over them.”
Honeyfloof – (floofinition) – An especially sweet animal.
In use: “Depite a pugilistic nom de floof, Rocky was a honeyfloof, always making friends, no matter what critter he meant. Except flies. They were his one weakness.”
Michael Seidel, writer 