Tag: catfinition

Catistan

There exists a legendary place where cats rule and people worship them. The land’s name is Catistan.

Images of cats and stories about them dominate Catistan. Special foods and treats are created just for cats. Toys and entertainment exist solely for cats. Cats are fed special treats and allowed to sleep wherever they want. People serve them no matter what the hour, and spend long periods grooming the cats or watching them as they sleep.

Of course, such places could never exist, except in the minds of cats.

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Catscort

Catscort (definition): a cat or group of cats accompanying someone as they walk around.

“Catscorted by his three felines and Alexander (a handsome ginger and cream long-haired tom who lived in another house in the cul-de-sac), Michael strolled around the quiet block after the sun had set and the day had cooled.”

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Catmors

Catmors is the result of a feline jumping or running on an object, such as a bed, sofa or body part, sending vibrations through the surface. Example: “Catmors by his feet awoke Michael. He knew from the subsequent quick gentle steps along the ridge of his legs that Quinn was joining him.”

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Catalogical

Catalogical (definition): the order in which activities must be planned and completed to appease a household’s feline masters.

In use: “Michael didn’t want to arise early, but once he rose, the first order of business was to feed to cat. Even body functions had to wait until the cats were fed, unless he was willing to endure some nips to his ankles and fury bodies attempting to get on his lap.”

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Cathos

Definition of cathos:

  1. The distinguishing characteristic or element defining a feline. “Being long-furred, small and cuddly is Quinn’s cathos. Without those, he’s just another cat.”
  2. An element in experience evoking a cat-like reaction. “Everyone was awed by the beautiful bird, but Michael’s reaction was almost cathos in intensity.”
  3. Reason in a cat-dominated household that is the controlling principle. “Michael’s cathos includes keeping the cupboards well stocked with cat food, and the cats happily fed.”
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Catsake

A catsake is a traditional gift offered by felines to humans. Besides being an expression of affection, catsakes are said to have powers to help people draw on their feline energy connections, or act as talismans to protect people.

Catsakes vary among cats. Ancient pawtographs found in Germany were translated, “catsakes should be of and by the body”. Cats who adhere to this practice will often leave hairballs as a catsake.

Other ancient feline renderings found indicate that fundacatalists practice giving something recently killed, such as a mouse, snake. bird or lizard. A newer trend begun among cats is to bring something still alive so that the humans can participate in the sacrifice. Catologists theorize this cats giving catsakes of this nature believe it offers more power and/or protection to the humans.

Modern pacicats have begun new practices of bringing any object, and that the giving itself is the source of power. One thing that catalogists agree is that catsakes are to be treasured, even if they are gross and disgusting.

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Feline Nam

According to the Old Pawstament, Feline Nam was a legendary land where wise, benevolent cats ruled humans. According to cathology, the land enjoyed peace and prosperity for thousands of years under the beautiful Empress Felinus. It all came to an end when one young tom, seeking more power, betrayed the Empress. Angered, the Empress ordered her felines to withdraw from Earth, leaving behind only the betraying cat and his followers. Per the legend, they were cursed to forever be the pets of humans while struggling to reclaim the natural order of cats ruling humans.

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