Catap (definition): 1. the scratching, tapping or knocking sound a cat makes when he or she wants your attention, entry or release; 2. a cat’s act of scratching, tapping or knocking.

According to catalogists, felines develop unique catap signatures. You and the cats often know one another from their catap. In my household of four beasts, the cataps are distinctive.

• Tucker primarily uses the pull method as his first effort. This creates a heavy thud. Being a big cat who employs brute strength for most endeavors, his knock, when it comes, is loud and heavy. He usually vocalizes a broad, upset, “Mrrerow,” when his request is ignored.
• Quinn, being small and light, exhibits a fast signature. Scratching is his first choice and will be done in a fast series of scratches with both front paws that last about forty seconds. If that doesn’t work, he takes to tapping. His taps are likewise fast, uses both front paws, and go on for about twenty seconds. He also vocalizes if ignored, issuing a soft, “Mew, mew.”
• Boo is a large cat. Preferring to stand on his back legs, his cataps are higher on the door. He deploys a hybrid method of scratching without extending his claws. His cataps are a short bongo solo.
• Being a pretty smart little cat, Meep uses a simple catap of three to four knocks. Tap, tap, tap. Pause. Tap, tap, tap. He taps with one paw, but his claws are out.

Watching the cats react to one another’s catap is interesting. All fear Tucker; when he cataps, the others sit up and go on alert. The rest of the cataps generally draw casual interest. Quinn, who cataps more than the rest, and who is the smallest, lightest, and least-combative, generally draws little interest at the door.

It helps me to know what name for me to yell from my sleep for them to stop if I don’t want to get up. Of course, that works as well as peeing into the wind.

Catquifer (definition): a vessel intended for another use, but which ends up being a cat’s drinking glass.

In use: “Brenda poured water into a glass and went to answer the phone. Returning, she discovered Jade the tabby cat drinking from it as though it was a catquifer just for her.”

Catfort (definition): twisting your limbs, torso and neck into uncomfortable sleeping positions to accommodate a cat’s (or cats’) sleeping position(s).

A catstable is a feline who holds pawfice to enforce cat laws. Catstables face many difficulties enforcing cat laws, predominantly in that it’s not actually an pawfice, except in their mind. Enforcing cat laws is also problematic because they’re not written down, but haphazardly passed on between generations. Cat laws, and their meanings, often fluctuate between indoor/outdoor cats, feral cats, strictly indoor cats, etc. That encumbers catstable ability to properly execute their pawfice. Capping the difficulty scale, though, is that humans like to think their laws, customs and activities are above feline laws.

Cats disagree.

This is why, no matter what’s taking place, one or more catstables will come on the scene to observe and enforce the laws.

Catscade (definition): a procession of cats.

In use: “A catscade of talking felines of all sizes answered the sound of a can opening.”

Pawculiar: an odd or unusual look or reaction by one or more cats to another cat’s behavior.

“Rolling out of a sleeping posture, Tiger leaped up and ran to the window. Jumping up onto the sill, she stared out, her tail switching. The other cats gave her pawculiar looks, as though they awaited the beginning of the next act. Wondering what was going on, I asked Tiger. She only stared at something the rest of us couldn’t perceive as her answer.”

Meowching: when a cat attempts to meow or ‘talk’ while eating.

Catpadrilles are light shoes for your cat.

A cat wholly satisfied with their situation is said to be a meowcontent.