Tag: cat humor

Saturday’s Theme Music

Gold filled the cloudless sky as the sunblast kicked off at 7:27 AM in our valley on this Saturday, January 29, 2022. With the sun rising, the gold dipped. Blue flooded in as the sun’s beams surmounted the mountains at last. The temperature was 32 F. Now at 36, we expect to see 63 before the sun takes its show over the western horizon at 5:21 PM. Look at that, almost ten hours of sunshine and February hasn’t started it session yet.

In bummer COVID-19, all the county libraries are completely shutting down for a week. All materials due during that period will be automatically extended as the drop boxes will be locked shut. Hold pick-up periods will be extended, too. All this is because of personnel shortages driven by employees or their families sick with COVID-19.

While that’s happening, some genius suggested in an editorial that the best way to deal with the skyrocketing COVID-19 numbers is to open all the businesses and not restrict any of them. Save the economy and give everyone’s morale a boost. But…as the numbers are skyrocketing, people sicken, and the hospitals fill, who is going to be there to work?

Sadly, many see this bizarro logic as an ideal solution. Yet, hospitals across the nation are pressing nursing students into working for free to help with the caseload as personnel fall sick. Other nurses are being ordered to work longer hours, sometimes while foregoing pay, because of shortages. These are the same people who think that bare shelves are a political issue which can be resolved by just making more people work. They completely miss the dynamics engaged.

Enough of that. Sorry for the rant. Haven’t had coffee yet.

Today’s song is a repeat. “Maneater” by Hall & Oates came out in 1982. I was stationed in Japan, on Okinawa, at Kadena AB in the military at the time. That has nothing to do with the song’s occupatoin of my morning mental music stream. The song is there because of the cats. Why, yes, of course.

Sometimes when I’m feeding the cats, maybe just five out of five times, Boo and Tucker will suddenly become oblivious to me. After begging me for their morning meal with patient meows as they follow me around, I’ll put the bowls down and say, “Here you go, Tucker. Here, Boo. Come and get it.”

Hearing that, they’ll sit. Look around. I can hear their minds saying, “Boo? Tucker? Never heard of ’em.”

Papi, the young ginger, will dart pass them to the bowls, give me a meow, and begin eating. I then say, “There you go, Papi, eat up.”

Hearing “Papi”, Boo and Tucker will rise and come. “Papi,” they say. “Why, that’s me.” They say this even though I tell them, “No. You’re not Papi. You’re Tucker and you’re Boo. You two are black and white. He’s a ginger.”

They act like they can’t understand a word of what I’m telling them.

Of course, when they finally came is when I said in my head, “Here they come.” Which started Hall & Oates and the bassline for “Maneater”. Thus is how my mind works. At least before coffee.

Here’s the tune. Stay positive, test negative, wear a mask as needed, as get the jabs when you can. I gotta get that coffee in me, you know? Cheers

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Subfloof

Subfloof (floofinition) – 1. A physical object underneath an animal.

In use: “They knew the remote was subfloof again because the dog started moving around in her sleep and the channels began changing.”

2. Food or behavior that’s considered beneath an animal’s dignity.

In use: “Trying to entice the cat back into the house, he opened a can of food and called the cat, who sat down, watching him, clearly deciding that falling for such tricks was subfloof.”

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Flooflord

Flooflord (floofinition) – 1. A person with a lot of animals.

In use: “With five cats, three birds, two lizards, and four dogs, many of her neighbors considered Libby to be a flooflord.”

2. Animal who rules other animals and humans.

In use: “Despite a household with three large dogs and two mature cats (and four children and two adults), the new kitten was the flooflord without a week, manipulating others with cuteness, sweetness, and cussedness.”

3. (slang) Person who constantly posts or comments about animals on the net.

In use: “Bryan couldn’t help himself from being a flooflord because his two cats and one dog were just so dang cute and smart, he was constantly sharing pet stories and photos on the net.”

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Fingerfloof

Fingerfloof (floofinition) – An animal obsessed with fingers.

In use: “He and the cat had shared a house for five years but it was only since the pandemic enforced staying at home that the cat had become a fingerfloof, seeking them while he slept in bed at night, read a book on a chair, or — the worst because it was the most intrusive — nuzzling his fingers when they rested on the mouse as he worked.”

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Floofnag

Floofnag (floofinition) – An animal who can be annoying or irritating until they’re appeased.

In use: “Bevery tries organizing her day according to her priorities but it’s always subject to the floofnags — Pepper, a little Dachshund and his ally in mischief, a diluted calico named Dust — who demanded treats whenever she starts a Zoom meeting and has a consistent need to be in all rooms with her.”

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Floofclave

Floofclave (floofinition) – A group of animals’ distinct territorial, cultural, or social unit established within another territory.

In use: “The dogs established a floofclave on the back patio while the cats decreed that the sunroom was their space, but Sugar, the new scamperbeast brazenly went wherever she desired, sleeping and playing among dogs and cats, regardless of floofclave.”

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Floofbacle

Floofbacle (floofinition) – A sudden and ignominious failure or fiasco involving animals.

In use: “People with new kittens and puppies often must adjust to coming home and discovering a floofbacle as the animals encounter and destroy things like house plants, pillows, and rolls of toilet paper.”

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Flooferific

Flooferific (floofinition) – 1. People or locations which are animal friendly.

In use: “Animals passed the word to one another that the house up the hill was a flooferific place, where visiting strays were fed, birds socialized, and deer ambled about, eating bushes and unmolested.”

2. A really special or amazing animal.

In use: “Many people with pets feel that their animal is flooferic, and can regale others with anecdotes about why they belive that.”

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Floofbular

Floofbular (floofinition) – Floofdarin slang term, adopted from the eighties slang term, ‘tubular’, used among animals to express high regard or appreciation for something.

In use: “The cats thought getting tuna was fantastic. “Floofbular,” one told the other, which, to the unschooled in Floofdarin, sounded like a rising and falling trilling-mewing-purr.”

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Floofnorant

Floofnorant (floofinition) – People who are oblivious of animals and animal behavior, except for the barest awareness that animals exist.

In use: “Many of the floofnorant sniff and make disdainful noises that animals are dumb, don’t have emotions, and don’t feel pain. People who live with animals have a much different view.”

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