My head is larger
my balls hang lower
my feet are wider
and longer, too
I’m getting shorter
and my hair is thinner,
just giving the next gen something to think about.
Up
Rise up, I hear.
Can you rise down?
It is possible to sit up but if you’re standing, does sit down need to be specified?
(But if you omit down, and say, “Sit,” will people become offended that it sounds like you’re ordering a dog?)
And why do we give up?
Alfloofsco
Alfloofsco (catfinition) – a cat in the open air.
In use: “She was a queen of habits and preferred alfloofsco dining in the patio’s morning sun.”
Anchors
You ever think about someone who passed, and realized that although you rarely saw them, they were an anchor, someone who moored the foundations of your life, and although little has physically changed in your life with their passing, everything is different, because one of your mooring anchors is gone?
Catlude
Catlude (catfinition) – secret agreement or cooperation between cats to deceive others.
In use: “The household felines catluded to have one of them awaken the sleeping humans, and then the others would clowder-rush the people and demand to be fed.”
“Plastics.”
“Plastics.”
Some of you will read that one word sentence and recognize the allusion to The Graduate. It comes to mind now as how accurate it was in the movie.
Plastics was said to be the future. The writers (novelist Charles Webb and screenwriters Buck Henry and Calder Willingham) were prescient. Plastics are everywhere, floating and polluting the oceans and other aspects of our environment, and is now found to be in bottled drinking water. What’s that mean to our health? The effects are being studied.
We’ll find out in the future, won’t we?
The Real Meanings
Economists and politicians like to talk about recessions and inflation. But some think the real recessions are about hairlines, and inflation is about the waist line. It’s hard to do anything about either one of those, too.
The Norms
A young woman was in the coffee shop with her infant. She was meeting two friends. The three had a lively conversation going on.
They were located right beside me. The young mother had her back to me, but would look around at me every once in a while. I suspected that she wanted to breastfeed her baby, but was either concerned with my reaction, or didn’t want me to see it.
Either way, a woman breastfeeding her child isn’t something that bothers or thrills me. When she began breastfeeding, I noted her activity on my awareness’ edge but didn’t make any move to look, etc. I mean, one, I was busy writing. Two, really, a boob? And a feeding child? Is that something to get excited or upset about?
I don’t think so.
Subscriptions
Have you noticed the rise of subscription services? Subscribe to a company, and for a price, they’ll deliver razors, socks and underwear, cigar food, beer, wine, or fruit, along with the more traditional things, like magazines and entertainment, every day, week, or month.
I’ve recently been metaphorically bludgeoned with offers for monthly cat food subscriptions (mostly for Chewy.com). A new twist (for me) was added today: cat litter. Yes, subscribe to Pretty Litter, and fill out their chart, and they’ll send you your required kitty litter each month.
I understand the attraction to subscription services. NetworkICE began by selling its computer security products, but we really wanted to be on a subscription model. A subscription basis makes budgeting easy for customers, and allows companies a smoother, consistent, and predictable revenue flow. Scaling up and down improves on both ends.
Still…I guess I’m startled that you can buy kitty litter. I thought the dental subscriptions and air travel being offered were out there, but I suspect this is the future.
What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen offered as a subscription service?
Game
You ever get the feeling that you’re playing a cosmic video game, but nobody has told you the rules, score, player, or objective?
Just wondering.
Michael Seidel, writer 