Backwards

Watching a television show, I saw that they got ready for work and school, came into the kitchen, got something to eat and drink, and then, after a few bites and gulps, realized they’re late, and ran out the door.

I thought, they didn’t brush their teeth. Then I realized, they must have brushed their teeth before coming into the kitchen.

I always ate breakfast first, and then brushed my teeth and got ready for work or school and left. I guess I’ve been doing it backwards all these years.

Efloof

Efloof (catfinition) – an elite feline that’s permitted greater privileges and latitude than other felines.

In use: “Being the only cat in the household afforded Flash efloof status as her charming antics earned her human’s permissiveness.”

Size Matters

You ever buy a package of food, and read their claim on the package that it contains two point five servings in it? So you look at it, and think, “No way. That barely has enough in it for me.” You ever do that?

Yeah, what kind of con are they trying to pull on us?

Overheard 3

“I was in my Mom’s room with my sister when Mom died. Mom and Dad lived in a remote area, surrounded by cedars. It was quiet. Mom had been ready to die. She’d actually done checklists. She’d written pages of very precise notes that she wanted done before she died. My sister and I had to do these things, and check them off, and show them to her, to show her that they’d been done.

“When they were all done, Mom said, “Okay, I’m ready to go now.” And she died that day.

“And I remember sitting in the room, and watching this soft blue glow rise from her body and drift out the window, and up into the trees, and on into the sky. It was like watching a puff of smoke, but I’m sure it was her soul.

“When it was gone, I turned to my sister and said, “Did you see that?” She said, “No, but I wish I did, because I could see you watching it.””

The Astral Level

He always thought his wife and best friend had something going on but he never found evidence. It was just the way they were together. When they died twenty-four hours apart in separate accidents, it seemed like confirmation to him.

They’d had something going on in the astral level. He’d never believe otherwise.

A Dream Series

I would dream, awaken, and think, and then return to the dream. The dream series had so much detail, it was like immersive virtual reality. To capture it all would require hours of thinking and writing, so I give this sparse version.

The dream sequence began with me as an adult being invited into a special program. In the dream, I had the ability to see patterns and intuitively meld data, at times doing so as fast as people say, “Hello.” I can’t claim to understand the talent completely; it permitted me to almost instantly know people’s name and history. People were in awe of it.

The special program was an experiment in three phases. First, an operation. Second, a test of complex data to evaluate results. Third, to let me out and see what happens.

The place was an old medical office building now used as a school. The halls were tall, crowded and narrow. There were many small rooms, and the sheer density of teachers and students created havoc trying to get around. I arrived looking slovenly, joking with them, pleased to be invited, and not at all intimidated. There had been one person like me who’d gone through the program. His name was Carrie. He’d done it decades before, before anyone was even sure what he was.

Put into a small, crowded bedroom also used as an office, I demonstrated my initial skills. The project members were amazed. I’d been through this before with others. People were always dubious of my skills and wanted demonstrations. They thought the data and situation was extremely complex but it was amazingly simple to me. My time for going through it was less than a few seconds. It was slow by my standards. I bragged that to them.

We agreed to go through with the operation.

The operation seemed to involve crunching down on my thumb nail hard with something that looked like a wired hole-punch. Two tall white guys, young and casually dressed, did the operation. It went off as specified but the results afterward weren’t overly impressive. Yes, I had an improvement in my ability to intuitively gather and analyze data, but the scale didn’t increase as much as we’d expected. I was disappointed, and so were the program administrators.

Another thumb punch was proposed and accepted. They found another place on my thumb nail and punched.

I felt stunned, both connected to the world and released to be outside of it. I could see the data in a way I never had, but I was exhausted and in pain. Bent over, holding my thumb, I crashed to the floor.

I awoke in the same room, but in a white hospital gown. I remained desperately enervated and in pain. I wanted to sleep. They told me that I’d been working in my sleep. They were amazed. I had no knowledge of it. I wanted to sleep  more.

I also wanted to know what was different about the second operation from the first. It had seemed exactly the same, only administered in a different location. The two male ‘operators’ wanted to talk about it, and began by explaining that they’d probably just found a sweet spot, but the administrators didn’t want them disturbing me. Everyone was whisked out of my room.

I slept again, but then, half-awake, felt the need to leave the room. No logic supported my desire. I just needed to go. The door was partway open; I went through. On the other side were the administrators and operators, along with other people. They argued about whether I should be let out, but decided that if that’s what I wanted to do, they shouldn’t stop me.

I left. My thumb ached. I held it out to one side and coped with its pain.

The rooms and halls were packed with children. Male and female were there. Most were between eight and thirteen years old. None were poor but all seemed dressed in a style I associate with middle-class America. White children dominated but there was a wide variety of ethnicities present.

The children didn’t know who I was, but they thought I was the guy, the special guest. They were too awed of me to speak with me. They became silent wherever I went, watching me as I went by them, through rooms, and up and down steps and halls. I noticed one child because he seemed different. Black, he had a narrow face, a tall, poofy afro, and wide solemn eyes. I saw him several more times, and sought reasons for why I was seeing him so frequently. Others spoke about him by name. I engaged in the conversation, and then decided to look for him.

I began walking around again. I was often noticed because I remained in my white hospital gowns. I didn’t like that, so I stopped off and changed clothing into my usual style. Then I resumed roaming.

Bulletin boards filled with photographs were on some hall walls. I stopped to look at them sometimes. The boards had hundreds of photographs of individuals and groups. Nothing was labeled but looking at the photos, I knew who people were.

One board had a small black and white photograph of the great Carrie. He wore a straw hat and appeared to be in an Hawaiian shirt. There were several photographs of me when I was younger. I didn’t know where they’d gotten them.

I kept roaming the building through crowds of students and rooms of teachers. Picking up data, I realized the projects full scope was to analyze the group patterns and assess and predict who would be successful. I knew I could do this. The more I walked, the more I learned. As I learned, I realized the children and teachers were arranged in a pattern.

Squatting against a wall, I paused to rest and think. This crowd of children weren’t sure of who I was. They mostly ignored me. But then an administrator entered. She walked around with internal mail. Calling my name, she passed me a thin folder. “Nine comments,” she said. “Impressive.”

I studied the comments. They were complimentary but not helpful. I resumed walking around. I thought about the black kid again.

I entered a room. Children were lying on the floor on their backs. I stood by the entrance, looking at them. One boy beside me kicked me in the leg.

I was furious. I grabbed his shirt and pulled him to his feet, asking the others who he was. He was unapologetic, unafraid and indifferent to me. He wouldn’t talk.

Ten years old, he was white, slender with a thick bush of black hair and dark eyes. He wore blue jeans and a sweater. I wanted to know his name, demanding it off of the other children present. I was angry that he’d kicked me, but there was more.

I couldn’t get anything off him.

He was outside the data. That was how I’d begun, I realized, as a person outside of the norms.

The dreams ended.

 

Rook

Well thought-out words bring this experience to life, becoming touching, beautiful, and intimate.

Scribe Doll's avatarScribe Doll

My train home wasn’t due for another half hour and I strolled up the platform, looking for something to snack on. There wasn’t anything particularly appetising left at that time of the afternoon at the small town station, and I was suddenly tempted by a bag of cheese and onion crisps. Crisps in general are my guilty pleasure, although I prefer plain ones, and I probably hadn’t had cheese and onion ones since my student days. College food was so genuinely revolting that, more frequently than I care to remember, all it would take was one mouthful to consign the contents of the entire tray to the rubbish before heading to the tuck shop, buying four packets of crisps, and then dining on them in my room.

And so, in memory of my undergraduate former self, I pulled the packet open and the pungent smell of chemical cheese and lab…

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Monday’s Theme Music

I like songs about change. This particular song, “Change,” by Blind Melon, has lyrics that cling to my dreamer’s mind.

So I want to write my words on the face of today.

And then they’ll paint it

And oh as I fade away,

They’ll all look at me and they’ll say,

Hey look at him and where he is these days.

When life is hard, you have to change.

I heard the song the year it was released. I thought the lyrics haunts the shadows of our existence. We strive to live, and some attempt to make a difference, but we’re such small drops of beings in such a huge ocean of beings. The song’s lyrics seemed sharp as volcanic rocks when Shannon Hoon, the group’s singer, died three years later. He’d been fighting addictions and substance abuse. He had to change, but couldn’t. Happens to a lot of us.
In the era of the Internet of Things, change is a speeding variable to modern life. See an actor and wonder, like the lyrics, where is he/she these days? To the Google machine to see. No, they’re not dead; they just faded away.

Floofection

Floofection (catfinition) – refreshment of mind, body, and spirit delivered by a cat’s companionship.

In use: “Returning from a weary day concerned with products, dollars, and cents, he found floofection in a few minutes of stroking Tabitha’s fur and listening to her purr.”

Seats

You ever get in a strange car, like a rental car, to drive it, and keep adjusting the seat because somehow, your body and that seat just aren’t having a meeting of minds?

Yeah, that can be a pain.

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