Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Flooftator (floofinition) – 1. a housepet with total power over a household, typically obtained by begging, whining, threats, or obstinance; 2. (slang) a housepet that resembles a potato; 3 (slang) a housepet who doesn’t move much, akin to an animal version of a couch potato.
In use: “The fluffy little dog was a flooftator, but they delighted in indulging his preference to sleep and lounge on the sofa, laughing as he would stretch and wag his tail when they entered the room and said his name.”
I was sitting and chatting with a friend the other day when my body said, “Pee.”
“Excuse me,” I told my body, “but that was very ru — ”
“Pee!”
“I was talki — ”
“PEEEE!”
“What are you saying? It sounds li — ”
“PEEEE!”
“In a minute. Let me finish this conver — ”
“PEEEEEE!!!”
Sighing, I stood. “Excuse me a minute,” I told my friend, and went off to the restroom.
Honestly, sometimes my body is like a spoiled, willful child, and it gets worse as I get older.
Saw a headline slug, “Driverless Cars Return”.
An imagined television news report about a driverless car getting lost and living on the streets by itself for years climbed into my head, and then came the happy reunion, when the driverless car returned to its family for a happy reunion.
“We thought our car was gone forever,” Patty McLaren said about the brown four-door Ford sedan. “We looked for it for everywhere for weeks. We never gave up, really. Every time a driverless car went by, we looked to see if it was our car. Though I never stopped hoping, I never really believed it would come back, though. It’s like a dream come true.”
The car is a little older and rustier, with bald tires and faded paint. Its radio and speakers are gone, apparently torn out by thieves, and the engine smokes.
“Who knows what it went through?” Mrs. McLaren said, stroking the car’s front fender. “I’m amazed it’s still runnin’. I’m just so happy it’s back.”
Mrs. McLaren said that they were going to get the car a new coat of paint and tires. “Then we’re just going to put it in the garage and keep it there, and pamper it.”
Her daughter expressed disappointment that she wouldn’t be allowed to take the car to college with her.
Floofchotchke (floofinition) – knickknack or trinket that celebrates housepets.
In use: “As soon as she walked into her new boss’s office, she knew from the floofchotchke that he loved cats and dogs.”
Flooftopian (floofinition) – a place or setting modeled on the ideal situation for housepets.
In use: “After acquiring a new housepet, many owners seek to create a flooftopian habitat for their scales, fur, and feather companions, buying special food, toys, and decoration for them.”
Today’s theme music emerged from my dreamlands. As I stumbled around feeding the scamperbeasts and making coffee, I remembered the little I know about the song
It wasn’t much. An AM radio hit in the mid 1960s, I was troubled by the title. I thought it was “Hang On Snoopy”. When I discovered it was Sloopy, I thought, “Who’s Sloopy?” I knew who Snoopy was. I understood why they were urging Snoopy to hang on, seeing that he slept on his back on top of his dog house and battled the Red Baron, but who was Sloopy that they were telling them to hang on? It made no sense to me.
Thanks to Wikipedia, I discovered that the version of “Hang On Sloopy” by The McCoys came out in 1965, so I was nine. Sloopy is rumored to be Dorothy Sloop, a jazz singer.
All interesting stuff, but surprisingly, the McCoy’s vocalist on the recording is Rick Zehringer. The group performing the music was not his group from Rick and the Raiders, but another group called the Strangeloves. Rick and the Raiders’s name was changed to the McCoys for the release of “Hang On Sloopy”, and Rick Zehringer, who was eighteen when he sang “Hang On Sloopy”, changed his name to Rick Derringer, under which he continues to perform pop, rock, and blues and playing with people and groups from Edgar Winter, Johnny Winter, Barbra Streisand, and Meat Loaf, to television jingles for Budweiser beer commercials.
That’s a lot of pop history from one song. Anyway, hang on…whoever you are.
Floofvering (floofinition) – to sweep up or vacuum fur and floofbris left by housepets.
In use: “With two long-hair indoor/outdoor cats and a long-hair dog, floofvering the floor was a daily task.”
They encountered each other every day, and every day, the ginger-bearded young man said, “Hey, man, do you have any weed?”
Every day, Mitchell said, “No, sorry.”
After the first three days of this, Mitchell wondered, why is this man asking him for weed? Mitchell wondered, does he look like a man who might have weed? What makes a person look like he might have weed? He had his own conceptions of this. To his mind, he didn’t look like one who might be carrying weed.
The other thought Mitchell had was, perhaps the man greeted everyone like this. Mitchell laughed at the idea of this man saying to everyone met in town, “Hey, man, do you have any weed?”
After five days of this, Mitchell encountered the man while crossing the street, and said, by way of greeting, “Sorry, I don’t have any weed.”
The weed man looked at him like he was crazy.
Which made Mitchell laugh.
Refloofcitrant (floofinition) – a housepet who is obstinately defiant of authority or restraint.
Related: recatcitrant (catfinition) – a cat who is obstinately defiant of authority or restraint; redogcitrant (dogfinition) a dog obstinately defiant of authority or restraint
In use: “Putting a leash on the dog proved a battle as he became refloofcitrant, finding new ways to resist the leash until the people finally gave up.”
Editing note: Yes, I know, I get a little silly with this stuff, don’t I?
